IRONY bY Ana kandwal

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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anakandwal+
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IRONY bY Ana kandwal

Post by anakandwal+ »

On one side of the border, the man was hung.
They accused him of being a terrorist who killed the sons of the soil.
People celebrated the death and mothers smiled with teary eyes.
It was the celebration of Justice.
They raised the slogan- ‘Long live the Truth.’

On the other side of the border, the news of execution reached.
They praised him for being a martyr who saved the sons of the soil.
People celebrated the death and mothers smiled with teary eyes.
It was the celebration of Sacrifice.
They raised the slogan- ‘Long live the Truth.’
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DATo
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Post by DATo »

In every conflict the combatants always believe that God is on their side. I think you captured the essence of this thought perfectly with your poem. Nicely written but I would change the first sentence of the second stanza to, News of the execution reached the other side of the border.

Though your poem definitely tells a "short story" I think it would be more properly represented in the Creative Original Works: Poetry section.
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright
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anakandwal+
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Post by anakandwal+ »

DATo wrote:In every conflict the combatants always believe that God is on their side. I think you captured the essence of this thought perfectly with your poem. Nicely written but I would change the first sentence of the second stanza to, News of the execution reached the other side of the border.

Though your poem definitely tells a "short story" I think it would be more properly represented in the Creative Original Works: Poetry section.
Thank you so much for your invaluable advice. I will modify this piece as you said, as it seems perfect. Also, many thanks for appreciating and understanding the deep image. :)
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stoppoppingtheP
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Post by stoppoppingtheP »

wow, this poem, as short as it was, conveys such a deep imagery. How the exact same scenario is received totally differently.

“there have been so many times
i have seen a man wanting to weep
but
instead
beat his heart until it was unconscious.

-masculine”

― Nayyirah Waheed
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dziak01
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Post by dziak01 »

Very touching!
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