Summer 2021

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Kavita Shah
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Summer 2021

Post by Kavita Shah »

It's summer and it's warm everywhere.
A gush of wind cools the sweat,
Lemonade is the drink of the day,
So cheers, it's Saturday. :D

Time's been so sad. :(
Alone inside the house,
Everyday thinking what to do
Within these 4 walls.
I say just relax, 8)
Binge watch, clean the house
So much I can do yet I feel so lazy.


In the movie Tangled
Rapunzel grew up inside a tower.
She read books. :techie-studyingbrown:
She painted and painted some more.
The lanterns were her hope.


How many of us, our lives on pause
Or rather a new start, a new exploration.
The busy lifestyle ,
has turned into work from home
and for some; it's quarantine.
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Jyoti_singh
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Joined: 23 May 2021, 12:10
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Post by Jyoti_singh »

It’s a nice poem but can be improvised.

1st stanza:
It’s fabulous. The words are nicely chosen and it’s rhyming . The beginning is spectacular.

2nd stanza:
It’s not rhyming with the 1st stanza. If it’s not written according to rhythm then also it need some changing of words

3rd stanza :
The last two lines need the focus and I think one more line would not harm the whole poem

4th stanza:
The starting was good but the ending is not.
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Kavita Shah
Book of the Month Participant
Posts: 3116
Joined: 12 Dec 2020, 12:30
Favorite Book: Spellbound - The Workings of Drugtech
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 188
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-kavita-shah.html
Latest Review: Kalayla by Jeannie Nicholas

Post by Kavita Shah »

Jyoti_singh wrote: 23 May 2021, 12:21 It’s a nice poem but can be improvised.

1st stanza:
It’s fabulous. The words are nicely chosen and it’s rhyming . The beginning is spectacular.

2nd stanza:
It’s not rhyming with the 1st stanza. If it’s not written according to rhythm then also it need some changing of words

3rd stanza :
The last two lines need the focus and I think one more line would not harm the whole poem

4th stanza:
The starting was good but the ending is not.
I was thinking too many things at the same time. So, it went down after a brilliant start. Thank you for analysing and telling what needs improvising. I really appreciate it. I'll make sure to keep the flow right and rhyming.
Thanks again!
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