The Dream

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Veena_Balakrishnan
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Post by Veena_Balakrishnan »

If only this was a dream,
a sleep so deep an ocean
I just wanna scream...
and wake up, wake up to forget.

All those tenses, past, present and future,
that tense my nerves and stiffs me up,
that tightens the chord round my neck.
Suffocate to death you shall.

Sweet love now bitter and cold,
friendship a ship of ghouls.
Sunken I am to the deepest floor,
that none knows and will.

Way withered consciousness blows
like the air so dead and still
Could I ever come back?
To wake up, wake up and breathe...

Shattered crystals of glass lay,
so sharp, so threatening,
still shines like a diamond,
and calls out for fresh blood.

Empty endless halls resonates
silent loud cries...
Will my screams ever be heard?
That I wake up, wake up and weep...

All the vanity I dream,
long lost of sanity though,
Meaningless scribbles are all
that habits my mind and heart.

I was never so claustrophobic,
crushed under own weight...
Am I never gonna wake up?
Or dream my dream to death?!
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John Owen
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Post by John Owen »

The persona seems desperate and this made be sympathize with him/her. Nice poem!
Harmony in chaos. It's all a matter of perspective.
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Veena_Balakrishnan
Posts: 30
Joined: 07 Nov 2020, 20:50
Favorite Book: The Alchemist
Currently Reading: Eleven Minutes
Bookshelf Size: 18
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-veena-balakrishnan.html
Latest Review: The Binding Stone by Liz D. Marx

Post by Veena_Balakrishnan »

John Owen wrote: 30 Apr 2021, 07:00 The persona seems desperate and this made be sympathize with him/her. Nice poem!
Thank you! :D
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John Owen
Book of the Month Participant
Posts: 920
Joined: 01 Jul 2018, 09:51
Currently Reading: Baggage
Bookshelf Size: 145
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-john-owen.html
Latest Review: Snatched Up to Heaven! by Jemima Paul and Arvind Paul
2024 Reading Goal: 52
2024 Goal Completion: 103%

Post by John Owen »

Veena_Balakrishnan wrote: 30 Apr 2021, 10:16
John Owen wrote: 30 Apr 2021, 07:00 The persona seems desperate and this made be sympathize with him/her. Nice poem!
Thank you! :D
You're welcome. :tiphat:
Harmony in chaos. It's all a matter of perspective.
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