An Undying Soul

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Veena_Balakrishnan
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Icon An Undying Soul

Post by Veena_Balakrishnan »

Thick monstrous waves carves away the shore
while the freezy breeze sway away my consciousness..
Here I lay amongst the slaves of darkness,
bound by a curse with an undying soul...

The ship-wrecked mind of mine casts a final wish
as I wait for the final judgement to the immortals..
Though i know full well that my wish can never be satisfied,
'cause of these chains of mortality my body is bound by...

The reckless sins of mine from the past
has brought me to this wicked land of sinners..
And the innumerous vultures tear apart my heart
as if I were an another Prometheus

Still the last straw of hope I forsee,
though my Albatross never arrives ashore
And then the judgement is heard aloud in the still air....,
..' YOU ARE WELCOME TO THE LAND OF IMMORTALS ,
THE LAND OF UNDYING SOULS! '
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Wyrd Phoenix
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Post by Wyrd Phoenix »

Bravo! This is an outstanding piece!!! Forlorn, lost, yet yearning for a better way. It forces one to be brutally honest with oneself. Thank you!
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Veena_Balakrishnan
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Post by Veena_Balakrishnan »

Wyrd Phoenix wrote: 02 Jan 2021, 23:56 Bravo! This is an outstanding piece!!! Forlorn, lost, yet yearning for a better way. It forces one to be brutally honest with oneself. Thank you!
Thank you so much for your appreciation! I had been a little upset that there were no comments until now.. worried if it was worthy enough :oops: . So happy to hear from you! Your comment encourages me to write more! Wish you Love and Peace this New Year! :tiphat:
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Wyrd Phoenix
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Post by Wyrd Phoenix »

You are extremely talented! Please continue writing poetry. It seems like all modern poets become absorbed by the media. We need more original artists, instead of marketing and sales. I've read a few of your works now, but this one got me. I'll post feedback on the others when I can. May the Muses inspire you to even greater heights!
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Veena_Balakrishnan
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Post by Veena_Balakrishnan »

Wyrd Phoenix wrote: 10 Jan 2021, 09:51 You are extremely talented! Please continue writing poetry. It seems like all modern poets become absorbed by the media. We need more original artists, instead of marketing and sales. I've read a few of your works now, but this one got me. I'll post feedback on the others when I can. May the Muses inspire you to even greater heights!
:D :D This means a lot to me!! Thankyou again for supporting me! You are right many of the budding artists gets lost in the virtual mirage or their talent goes unnoticed, without any positive feedbacks or recognition... Many of us are victims of depression and gives up on writing entirely... I'm so glad I found this platform and I'm sooo grateful for your reply! May god shower you and your family with all his blessings! Thank you once again!! 🤩💓💓💓
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John Owen
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Post by John Owen »

This is wonderful! It is packed with emotions and suspense imagery... A giant wave crashing, a shipwreck of your mind, a past full of memories of your imperfections... I probably would want to know how this "world of undying souls" is like.
Harmony in chaos. It's all a matter of perspective.
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Veena_Balakrishnan
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Post by Veena_Balakrishnan »

John Owen wrote: 16 Apr 2021, 02:09 This is wonderful! It is packed with emotions and suspense imagery... A giant wave crashing, a shipwreck of your mind, a past full of memories of your imperfections... I probably would want to know how this "world of undying souls" is like.
So glad that you liked the poem! thank you for the support dear! :romance-smileyheart: :romance-smileyheart:
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John Owen
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Post by John Owen »

Veena_Balakrishnan wrote: 27 Apr 2021, 23:25
John Owen wrote: 16 Apr 2021, 02:09 This is wonderful! It is packed with emotions and suspense imagery... A giant wave crashing, a shipwreck of your mind, a past full of memories of your imperfections... I probably would want to know how this "world of undying souls" is like.
So glad that you liked the poem! thank you for the support dear! :romance-smileyheart: :romance-smileyheart:
Welcome. I've seen other poems by you, I will find time to read them too.
Harmony in chaos. It's all a matter of perspective.
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DATo
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Post by DATo »

it reminds me of the place called Purgatory from the Roman Catholic ritual. This was the thought I had as I was reading it. I suppose it could also be compared with the land beyond the river Styx, Hades, the underworld of the ancient Greek beliefs.

Nice work!
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kavi_shree
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Post by kavi_shree »

Great piece of art! Wholesome👏🏼
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