Time

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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WingTaken
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Time

Post by WingTaken » 21 Feb 2018, 13:18

Time



{what is time

do we have it
did we ever

more like an illusion
like the faint memory
of a delicacy
long eaten
are we illusionists

to pretend
we have time
we share precious time
with others;
or liars

what do we do
what do we say
should we do anything

running out of time
- are we?
still frozen
still broken
still hoping
- are we?
let’s run out of time

and conquer it
let’s make our own fate

because we don’t need war
to fight
for what we love
we couldn’t have chosen love
more naturally}


from my work Remnants of Time
s.g.r. (Steve's letters)
by WingTaken

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KatSims92
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Post by KatSims92 » 29 Jun 2018, 09:22

I love how deep and complex this work is. The subject of time is an intriguing one, and you evoke that very well.

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Whizz-worm
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Post by Whizz-worm » 07 Jul 2018, 07:25

Nice work

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palilogy
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Post by palilogy » 07 Jul 2018, 11:30

I would play with the line breaks a little more =)

"what do we do
what do we say
should we do anything

running out of time
- are we?
still frozen
still broken
still hoping
- are we?
let’s run out of time "

Example: Working on the transition between the stanzas
Example : Consider "let's run out of time" on its own line

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