In Another World

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Scott
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In Another World

Post by Scott »

I wrote this today:


---


In another world we grew wrinkled and old
together
But that world isn't this one

In another world we had kids
together
But that world isn't this one

In another world we held hands
at our baby's high school graduation
together
But that world isn't this one

In another world you sat by me
in the hospital
together
But that world isn't this one

And in that world and in that hospital bed,
your smile was the last thing I
ever saw
But that world isn't this one.


---
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"That virtue we appreciate is as much ours as another's. We see so much only as we possess." - Henry David Thoreau

"Non ignara mali miseris succurrere disco." Virgil, The Aeneid
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Ciska C
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Post by Ciska C »

I found this poem incredibly moving. I could almost see the pain on the poet’s face penning this down. Beautifully written
eman1013
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Post by eman1013 »

I see the pain on the poet's face
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Avi Shi
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Post by Avi Shi »

It's so nice. Well written peom. The idea of parallel world in love theme is good.
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hayisa
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Post by hayisa »

Such a creative poem that moves your emotions. Also, nice pen you have there.
Kgomotso Maje
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Post by Kgomotso Maje »

It's sad, especially if you know what it's like to have wanted someone and know that it will never happen in this world.
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Tksouthwick2022
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Post by Tksouthwick2022 »

"That world isn't this one..."-
- Beautifully written my friend.....I can understandand relate to the feeling in this piece. You paint a simple yet vivid portrait. A reflection of your soul..... well done :D
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Lady B 1
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Post by Lady B 1 »

Nice and sad. The poem reflect the pain of a lover who wish can't be fulfilled.... it's simple and yet emotional
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Isabella Sya
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Post by Isabella Sya »

Ciska C wrote: 14 Sep 2021, 00:30 I found this poem incredibly moving. I could almost see the pain on the poet’s face penning this down. Beautifully written
I can't agree more. This piece was absolutely lyrical.
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