Show me your naked pain

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
Post Reply
Anton Pace
Posts: 1
Joined: 08 Jan 2022, 04:44
Bookshelf Size: 0

Re: Show me your naked pain

Post by Anton Pace »

Very inspiring; so much that it made me scribble. "May my heart beat until then" is a rib of your flesh. Thanks for the awakening.
User avatar
Posts: 1
Joined: 18 Sep 2019, 19:46
Bookshelf Size: 0
2022 Reading Goal: 24
2022 Goal Completion: 0%

Post by gwendoline65 »

Short and yet so impactful and insightful. The poem has a lot of depth.
User avatar
Posts: 1
Joined: 14 May 2020, 10:47
Bookshelf Size: 0
2022 Reading Goal: 20
2022 Goal Completion: 0%

Post by nicoleoconnor »

Jesse Knowles
Posts: 1
Joined: 08 Jan 2022, 21:36
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Jesse Knowles »

I may not know what poems may mean
My mind wonders way to fast
Yet this poem impacted me in this way it would seem
My ADHD it renders me my thoughts sure do clash

Sometimes I write my words in poems
So what impacted me may last

I wish I could explain my thoughts without making them into a poem

Maybe then and only then I would not feel so alone

Thank you for the inspired words
In which they render true

Sharing them with others in which
My confidence
Will not allow me to do
It's better to share then keeping them just for you
User avatar
Lotsu Freda
Posts: 6
Joined: 19 Oct 2017, 11:38
Currently Reading: The Freedom Building
Bookshelf Size: 4
Reviewer Page:
Latest Review: Mindful Screen Time by John and Kimberley Woods
2022 Reading Goal: 12
2022 Goal Completion: 8%

Post by Lotsu Freda »

Living in the now and freeing one's mind of all distractions while enjoying the moment is what I see in this poem. At first, it seemed like another love poem but thinking a little deeper, I see it as a message of freedom, to be you, regardless of all the ups and downs.
Great one there Scott.
Jabulani Stephen 1
Posts: 2
Joined: 11 Jan 2022, 14:58
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Jabulani Stephen 1 »

Wow magnificent and I love the tittle "show me your naked pain."
Edward McDaniel
Posts: 1
Joined: 12 Jan 2022, 02:08
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Edward McDaniel »

Show Me Your Naked Pain
Show me your naked pain
Bear your uncompromised soul
You tell me my past is behind me.
Still the memories of what went on haunt me.
I wish I could just let it go.
I just want to feel complete again.
How could you hurt me that is no way to treat a friend.
I carry around these broken pieces of me with my head held down.
For so many years I kept it to myself I suffered in silence.
I didn't make a sound.
I let you get away with it an innocent piece of me laid pinned down on the ground.
Do you believe in karma what comes around goes around.
I trusted you as my friend and you broke the rules.
Now I have to live with the pain and the trauma forever
I feel like such a fool.
As kids we were supposed to be innocent.
I found out the hard way kids can be cruel.
You took away a part of my innocence you violated me That is what I got for trusting you.
I've held on to this dark secret for years.
No one heard me crying out for help.
I had to swallow my tears.
I'm finally ready to bear this burden
I'm ready to show my naked pain
So that the tragic events that happened to my innocence
Did not happen in vain.
Last edited by Edward McDaniel on 12 Jan 2022, 03:31, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Ciru Wa Ciku
Posts: 1
Joined: 12 Jan 2022, 03:46
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Ciru Wa Ciku »

Concise with deep meaning.

Thank you Scott
Kekimuri Sarah
Posts: 1
Joined: 12 Jan 2022, 10:04
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Kekimuri Sarah »

Very well articulated with deep meaning ,I like the rhythm in it
User avatar
Posts: 1
Joined: 01 Feb 2021, 23:42
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by malakkc »

love it! direct, to the point, and effective :tiphat:
User avatar
Posts: 1
Joined: 10 Jun 2017, 06:46
Bookshelf Size: 0
2022 Reading Goal: 100
2022 Goal Completion: 0%

Post by OOKO »

When I saw the Theme, before reading the Poem, I had already envisioned a line in my head about the protective mask. How real the Poem is! In 2022! Thanks for sharing.
User avatar
Posts: 30
Joined: 13 Jan 2022, 11:06
Favorite Book: Inner engineering
Currently Reading: The Freedom Building
Bookshelf Size: 17
2022 Reading Goal: 300
2022 Goal Completion: 3%

Post by Rav_sid »

You have some spiritual spirit to show in your poem, it’s amazing Scot.
User avatar
Kat Mulkey
Posts: 1
Joined: 04 Aug 2021, 11:50
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 28
2022 Reading Goal: 50
2022 Goal Completion: 2%

Post by Kat Mulkey »

Beautiful! I love the emotions captured in this piece and how it takes you back to a memory that has gotten lost in time.
User avatar
Posts: 1
Joined: 14 Jan 2022, 00:05
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Jashawn4q »

Show Me Your Naked Pain
Send me your love 💕when it's been naked
Send me your soul when it's not wasted
Feel my heart ❤️ when its in pain
Feel my kiss 😚 when we in the rain
I'll shelter you 💓 with all my love
I'll fly with you just like a dove
Don't ever forget that naked pain
Cause that nakedness will be your main
Marry me like the song by Jason Derulo
Carry me like when we doing solo
Dance with me across the floor some more
And I'll tell you how much I adore you more
Joseph Jacob 1
Posts: 1
Joined: 30 Dec 2021, 10:53
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Joseph Jacob 1 »

Am inspired at this poem. It encourages me to work more on my writings. Nice one sir.
Post Reply

Return to “Creative Original Works: Poetry”