Poem: The Way You Lie

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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serendipity 27
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Poem: The Way You Lie

Post by serendipity 27 » 08 Oct 2018, 15:06

This is a short poem I have been working on:
The Way You Lie

The way you lie makes me feel like I'm high on top of a castle in the sky
I'm caught in the words that you breathe to me, sing to me, cry for me
I feel like the only person in this world that you've built for us
A castle in the sky formed from our words, our touch, and our longing
I didn't realize I was standing on top of castle of clouds
Clouds built on your whispered endearments and silky entrapment's
My feet start to melt through this vaporous foundation you have created
I'm falling slowly as I grasp at the foundation we had built
Only to fall down like a disgraced creation
As I lay quietly, I stare up at the ruins built from your lies
Then I realized
There was no castle to begin with, no clouds
It was born out of a feverish imagination
An imagination that has betrayed me into thinking of this fantasy
I quietly laugh as my imagination whispers, "I love the way you lie"

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Melissa Anthony
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Post by Melissa Anthony » 28 Oct 2018, 17:09

I like the tittle

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Post by Mike190 » 10 Nov 2018, 07:37

The poem is good but it does not carry much of emotions

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