THE BAKER’S SON

[Rhozel1]

Nii Armah yawned as he lazily climbed down the hard bed. His alarm had woken him up, it was constantly set to 4.00AM. He wished he could sleep some more, but there was just so much to do. He had promised Daavi he was going to do an early delivery, it wasn’t in his nature to disappoint.
He recalled the discussion he had had with Adjetey and Komla at the football field, it sounded really appealing. They had mentioned a new business in town that could fetch more profit than what he was presently making from his mum’s bakery, and he didn’t need to do as much work. He dismissed the thought as he hurriedly went to set up the bakery before the other workers joined him.

Thank you so much Nii Armah, Daavi said as she packed the bread he had delivered into her van. It was 6.50AM, the weather was still pretty cold from the rains of the previous night. It felt right to just hit the bed, but thoughts of Maa occupied his mind, he needed to get her to the Poly Clinic. She’s been so sick lately, the doctors had mentioned in the last visit that she needed a surgery. He had chosen to manage her illness until somehow the money for the surgery becomes available, but it was breaking his heart so much the rate at which she was deteriorating. Her once beautiful face was covered with pain that sent daggers right through his heart. Nii Armah doubled his pace, in a bid to avoid the overwhelming crowd that usually met them at the Poly Clinic, it was already getting late.

As he helped his feeble mum back into the house, the discussion with the doctor re-echoed on his mind. Maa needed immediate attention, he was made to believe she hadn’t much time again to live. It was scary, he didn’t want to believe it. He wasn’t ready to lose the only person in his life that meant all to him, not after all the sacrifices she had made for him, no, he refused to accept what the doctor had said, he had hope that the money for the surgery was going to come. He remembered his dad as he struggled with the deep ache in his heart.
Nii Armah was just about 10 years when he walked out on them for another woman. It had been a terribly hard period for them. Maa had struggled, school had been a fantasy for him, but each day, they went by. Maa did all sorts just to be sure he never went to bed hungry. She worked hard, it was out of years of saving she finally was able to set up the bakery.

Adjetey, Nii Armah called out as he saw his friend walk by. He looked good, new clothes and all. How is Maa? Adjetey asked, as they both entered the house to see her. She obviously didn’t look good, the look on Adjetey’s face said it all.
Ok, I will do it, Nii Armah responded after much coaxing from his friend. They agreed on a day as they parted ways. He had decided to try out what his friends had been on for the last two months. He really needed money for Maa’s surgery.
That night, he wore the new pair of clothes Komla had gotten for him, with cologne that smelt like the one the banker opposite his house wore. He looked good with the new haircut he had gotten. At 19, he looked 24 that night. He shuddered at the thought of what he had agreed to do, but it was all for Maa, he will do anything just so she could live.

As Nii Armah entered the room, he was met by the most beautiful smile ever. Contrary to what his friends had said, she was beautiful. He couldn’t believe she was 38, and a mother of four. Samira had promised to fund Maa’s surgery. As she stripped, different emotions hit him. He could feel the excitement within his pair of jeans, something was fighting to be let out. He had never seen a woman naked. As she came closer, his heart stopped. All he could hear within were the words of Maa, never to compromise himself for anything or anyone. He could almost see the eyes watching him from above, he couldn’t forget the prayers he had heard Maa pray over the years for him. That God should keep him away from all unrighteousness. As the words resounded, he pushed Samira back, and dashed out of the room.

Three months after that day, as Nii sat running the events of the previous months through, he bowed his head in gratitude for Maa. She had passed on in such a peaceful sleep, it hurt, unimaginably but he was happy he hadn’t compromised his values. He worked hard to build the bakery, hoping that someday he will be able to pay his way through a tertiary institution.
He could have done what Adjetey and Komla had suggested, but, would it have been worth it? He wondered…..

[DATo]

I like your story. It is more complex than it appears on the surface. Nii Armah must decide if his mother's physical presence, which by Nature's dictates is limited, is more important than her spiritual presence reflected in the manner in which she raised him, and which will remain with him the rest of his life. To betray the lessons that his mother had taught him would be to betray his mother and he would have to live with this forever. He choses the path he believes his mother would want but after she dies he wrestles in his grief with the question of whether or not he has done the right thing. I think the reader of the story believes he has done the right thing, but is aware that the result of Nii Armah's decision troubles him.

People who compromise their morality usually do it for personal gain, but in this case he is given the option of walking an immoral path in desperation to help someone he deeply loves. This causes the reader to reflect upon how they would deal with a similar situation. For instance, would one kill an innocent person in desperation to save the life of a loved one? Your story raises deep questions.

Nice work!

[Rhozel1]

I like your story. It is more complex than it appears on the surface. Nii Armah must decide if his mother's physical presence, which by Nature's dictates is limited, is more important than her spiritual presence reflected in the manner in which she raised him, and which will remain with him the rest of his life. To betray the lessons that his mother had taught him would be to betray his mother and he would have to live with this forever. He choses the path he believes his mother would want but after she dies he wrestles in his grief with the question of whether or not he has done the right thing. I think the reader of the story believes he has done the right thing, but is aware that the result of Nii Armah's decision troubles him.

People who compromise their morality usually do it for personal gain, but in this case he is given the option of walking an immoral path in desperation to help someone he deeply loves. This causes the reader to reflect upon how they would deal with a similar situation. For instance, would one kill an innocent person in desperation to save the life of a loved one? Your story raises deep questions.

Nice work!

I enjoy reading reviews where the reader is able to completely capture my thoughts. It gives me a satisfaction that I communicated well. Thank you so much for taking out time to read, and also for the great review. I’m grateful