Use this forum to post short stories that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links.
- Previous Member of the Month
- Posts: 2087
- Joined: 04 Feb 2019, 15:00
- 2019 Reading Goal: 40
- 2019 Reading Goal Completion: 97
- Favorite Author: Garth Nix
- Favorite Book: A Murder is Announced
- Currently Reading:
- Bookshelf Size: 214
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-nisha-ward.html
- Latest Review: Rogue Genes by Jardine Henry Hart
- Reading Device: B0794RHPZD
- fav_author_id: 4351
Well,that was charming. Re your tone, I think if you extended the story a little more and talked about how the characters felt with some detail it might work, but personally I liked it a lot.
"...while a book has got to be worthwhile from the point of view of the reader it's got to be worthwhile from the point of view of the writer as well." - Terry Pratchett on The Last Continent and his writing.