Regrets

Use this forum to post short stories that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links.
Post Reply
User avatar
Emi_Review
Posts: 130
Joined: 15 Aug 2018, 06:31
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 44
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-emi-review.html
Latest Review: Roadmap to the End of Days by Daniel Friedmann

Regrets

Post by Emi_Review »

I had been numb previously, as if in denial that anything had happened. Now I had begun to notice the little things. The empty bowl on the kitchen floor, the fur-covered blanket Tabby had last lay-on and worst of all was the silence. The house was still, no thumps were heard upstairs, no clatter of claws was running down the hallway, and there was no clanging of the bowl as it was pushed against the wall while she ate. I eyed the coffee table and laughed through my tears as I remembered Tabby jumping up on one side and sliding right across the top to the other side as if she was surfing the polished wood. My gaze turned to the corner sofa, Tabby’s favourite spot. I remembered the night I had pushed her away when I was trying to write and Tabby had wanted a cuddle but kept stepping on my keyboard. I grew annoyed with her and picked her up off me and onto the floor. The teardrops that had started flowing down my face suddenly turned into a surging river. I would give anything to go back to that night, to cuddle her and never let her go. My face screwed up as all my guilt and sorrows spilt from my eyes. As all my guilt and sorrows spilt from my mouth. I wailed. Loud and agonising, my wails would not cease. They could not. I was on my knees now, my hand clutching my heart. Could your heart actually break? It felt like it could. My heart felt like it was being squeezed. It felt like my breath and life was being stolen from me. My sobs turned into hyperventilation. I couldn’t breathe. I’m so sorry.
User avatar
Artifacs
Posts: 22
Joined: 15 Jul 2018, 08:46
Currently Reading: Escape
Bookshelf Size: 5

Post by Artifacs »

Oh, come on, It's a cat!. Cheer up, she'll come back. They do that all the time. I suspect they have some sort of Secret Society or something, like a cat nerd club where they talk about us and share the info they've gathered. Or maybe its just a pilgrimage to one of the local Bast temples they surely keep hidden around the world.
Or maybe...wait!!! This was just a story. Wow, nice one. You really got me. Congratulations, I liked it. It's too much to ask you for more?
Cheers
User avatar
DATo
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 5770
Joined: 31 Dec 2011, 07:54
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by DATo »

@Emi_Review

Very well written and it makes its point concisely. I think anyone who has had a pet which has died can relate to the narrator's feelings. Some readers always demand a happy ending, but I think the best stories are those which are truthful in their depictions of the realities of life.

My compliments on a story which is the distillate of a lot of emotion in the fewest possible words.
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright
User avatar
Maharshi lunagariya
Posts: 1
Joined: 27 Sep 2018, 03:41
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Maharshi lunagariya »

This is nice but all the good things in it is work in the madee cho dhings
Mari Thompson
Book of the Month Participant
Posts: 358
Joined: 16 Sep 2023, 18:30
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 24
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-mari-thompson.html
Latest Review: Play Golf Better Faster: The Little Golf Bag Book by Kalliope Barlis

Post by Mari Thompson »

A story full of feeling. Well done and thanks for sharing.
Post Reply

Return to “Creative Original Works: Short Stories”