Picture Book, Non-Fiction

Use this forum to post short stories that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links.
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Ktwills79
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Picture Book, Non-Fiction

Post by Ktwills79 »

This is a rough first draft for a story I am working on. So far I only have the beginning, but would like some feedback before I write more. My goal is a lyrically written biography that will capture and keep kids' attention. Honest feedback appreciated!

Anne Bradstreet: Pioneer, Poet, and Feminist

On a blustery day in April, 8 year old Anne Dudley sat huddled in the back of her family’s horse-drawn wagon on her way to church. Her older brother Samuel and her father sat up top, guiding the horses and discussing Important Things.
The trip to church was a long one, covering 15 miles of bumpy, dusty roads from their home in Lincolnshire to St. Botolph’s Church in Boston, England.
Anne’s mother, Dorothy, used this time well.
Never one to be idle, she spent the hours in the wagon educating her daughters on topics that would be useful to them.
Not politics, science, or poetry like Anne’s father and brother discussed, but topics more appropriate to a Puritan woman: how to be a dutiful daughter and wife.
Hunched together as though praying, Anne and her 2 younger sisters strained to hear their mother’s words over the rattling of the wagon.
A Puritan woman’s role was to love and obey her husband, supporting him in all he chose to do. Voicing doubts about a man’s decisions was strictly forbidden, and outspoken women were thought to be ruled by the Devil. A woman must marry, have children, keep an orderly household, and of course, put God first.
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DATo
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Post by DATo »

It is ironic that I just watched a movie called The Witch and the mother in the family is depicted exactly the way you describe the woman in your story sample. The movie itself wasn't great but the character portrayals were very well acted in my opinion. You might want to pick it up at the video store or library to use as research material.
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kmkline120
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Post by kmkline120 »

This is really good! As a biography, I like the story format, especially for children. It draws you in more and paints a picture. The only thing that stuck out to me is that "Important Things" is capitalized. Was this intentional?
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