First of all, you must open your eyes.

Use this forum to post short stories that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links.
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Vivian Paschal
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First of all, you must open your eyes.

Post by Vivian Paschal » 12 Jan 2018, 08:03

The first time he hit her was the first time she chose to endure. She was six months gone, and her unborn child needed a father. Besides, it was just one slap. He’d controlled himself.

The second time he hit her was the second time she chose to endure. This time, he went beyond just a slap. Her baby was a few months old. Her baby needed a father.

The third time, he dragged her down the stairs. She ended up with all sorts of bruises. She had a black eye. She struggled with a serious headache for days. But once again, she chose to endure.

The last time, she felt herself losing her grip on her life. She struggled to keep her eyes open for her child’s sake. But her struggle started too late. She died, and her child grew up with a monster.
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Afoaayoe
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Post by Afoaayoe » 12 Jan 2018, 12:14

My condolences to the child, i feel bad at the end of the story. but that is only a side view of the story. women are created to persevere but not to the extent of death. she died because she loves her child and even her husband. but the man in his wickedness reciprocated evil. I just have this that he will reap what he sowed one day! One day alone is preserved for him.

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vixicountiss
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Post by vixicountiss » 25 Jan 2018, 17:21

This story really hits hard, and it's beautifully written on a topic that really needs recognition. Awesome work!

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_mae365
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Post by _mae365 » 15 Feb 2018, 17:39

This is truly heartbreaking and beautifully written. Amazing talent to tell such a powerful story in a couple of paragraphs(:

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Uche Balogun
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Post by Uche Balogun » 17 Apr 2018, 18:16

Four powerful paragraphs, it is a gift to to be able to tell the so many people's story in a small amount of words.

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Uche Balogun
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Post by Uche Balogun » 17 Apr 2018, 18:16

Four powerful paragraphs, it is a gift to to be able to tell so many people's story in a small amount of words.

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_mae365
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Post by _mae365 » 17 Apr 2018, 20:32

Beautifully written, and truly heartbreaking.

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akameisback14
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Post by akameisback14 » 19 Apr 2018, 13:56

That was beautiful and pretty 😔 sad at the same time she should of slap him.

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Leahmaesg
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Post by Leahmaesg » 27 Apr 2018, 07:48

Four paragraphs that really open our eyes. Hands down👏

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