I Must Be Getting Old

[DATo]

by

DATo

As a kid the majority of the senior citizens I met wore a perpetual scowl on their faces and now that I am a senior myself I know why. I resent being herded by technology into a corral along with so many other people of my age like cows as a result of technological changes which seems to be advancing at an exponential rate. We old timers are being forced to abandon our old ways of doing things like the Indians were forced to give up their hunting grounds. Maybe it is for the best, and I know mankind must move forward, but I still resent it.

Superman should still be allowed to jump into a phone booth to change into his Superman costume, but there are no longer any phone booths. I should still be allowed to wear my plaid, bell bottom pants without being ridiculed by teenagers with purple and orange hair and covered in tattoos and piercings. Where did these kids come from anyway? They look like a cross between Harpo Marx, a pincushion, and an exotic parrot. I do not want to talk to a recorded message when I call the doctor's office or any other place of business. I WANT TO TALK TO A HUMAN BEING! I resent having to push #1 if I want to know the status of my payment history, #2 if I want to hear the insurance plan options, #3 if ... etc, etc, etc. I'm getting old, I don't have the time left to put up with such shenanigans. Every minute is precious.

When I was a kid if you bought something it came with a guarantee. If it doesn't work just bring it back. Go to any store and try to buy a washing machine and the salesman will immediately try to ~~~SELL~~~ you a warranty. With a big smile on his face he will say, "And for only $100 more you can buy a two year warranty which will protect your investment if the product proves defective." TRANSLATION: "This product is crap and it may not even last you two years." The refrigerator, washing machine, stove and oven my mother had when I was a kid lasted 40 years with no repairs necessary. Back then car bumpers and dashboard knobs were made of metal, soda and milk came in glass bottles, doctors actually came to your home if you were sick, you dreaded failing in school because you would have to repeat the entire year, parents gave a damn about how their children looked and acted when they went out in public and they made them do their homework before being allowed to play. Saturday morning cartoons were beautiful works of animated art - now they are non-animated pictures with only moving mouths. Rap "music"? I don't get the "music" part. To me it sounds like the classical poet, Alexander Pope, reciting is poetry while in the throes of crystal meth.

"I remember when ..." --- remember that? Our elders used to say it all the time. NOW I'M SAYING IT ALL THE TIME! "I remember when" a Baby Ruth candy bar cost a nickel, now you can't get one for less than a dollar, and it doesn't taste like a candy bar anymore - it tastes like chocolate flavored wax. I do not want to have to order things online because I can no longer find these things in stores. Just look at any 15 month old toddler who comes into contact with something new: he looks at it, he taps it to see how strong it is, he puts in in his mouth to taste it. I want to do that too. I don't want to buy something sight-unseen. If I buy something I want to hold the object in my hands to evaluate it, to tap it against the wall to test its structural integrity, to stick it into my mouth to taste it if I want to, even if it is a shoe.

I would be fascinated to learn the reaction of the men who lifted the American flag on Iwo Jima to know that in the last election America's "best?" choices for President of the United States, OUT OF 300 MILLION PEOPLE, were Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. And what about all this other political nonsense. You know, there's that line in the Star Spangled Banner ... "Oh say, does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave? o're the land of the free? and the home of the brave?" I used to know how to answer that question. Now I am confused.

I do have one consolation however: the generation which created this technological, fashionable, marketing, political disaster will someday grow old too, and I can already imagine the sublime sound of their faces cracking in the formation of scowls.

/

[bookowlie]

I enjoyed reading your opinion piece. It's excellently written plus you mentioned one of my favorite candy bars of all time, the Baby Ruth bar!

[Gabyap]

I noticed the candy bar too!

[DATo]

@Bookowlie
@Gabyap

I always liked to eat the peanuts and chocolate off the outside before eating the inside part. And in case you didn't know: the Baby Ruth candy bar was so named for President of the U.S.A. Calvin Coolidge's daughter .... not the baseball player.

[Gabyap]

Ahaha, okay

[Christina O Phillips]

I always enjoy reading your stories.

[Armattcia666]

The choices for President put the tin hat on it. Modern life is only good-ish!

[Butch Acuna]

I am surprised when I read how Americans resent changes which are meant to make life easier for a particular age group, Americans lead the in making changes forward. When do not lick shoes yo taste it because we are old enough to know it is not right to do it. We are suppose to learn, acquire wisdom as we grow old, then pass on our lessons learned to the next generation. Old people are given preferential treatment because our physical bodies are degenerating faster and there are so many things we are unable to do like before. There are so many things we do not have to do because it has already been done, even spies do not have to go to America to spy, all they have do is access the Google, Chinese businessmen need not steal trade secrets, the Discovery Channel will show them daily in their program on how to make things. Your enemies does not have to destroy your leaders reputation, you are doing it good enough.

[Jekell270]

A classic look back on simpler times, even though we seem to resent these times passing, it is necessary. Even though the author was 20 yrs prior to my time, I still felt the longing for a less stressful and technologically dependent era. Jekell270