The sleepy girl in my journey

[Priyanka72282]

I have been staring you since very long. Let me tell you, you are beautiful. The way your loose hairs pass by your face, I feel lighten. I can feel my face stretch. I wish if we were travelling companion. Every time you try to wake, you straighten yourself, make tiring face and then fall back to sleep. May be your dreams are more lovely than the world around. I would like to be a part of it, if you are okay with this. I assure you that your sleep won't be hampered. I'll let you to rest and make sure you still look free. I can see, you are really trying hard to stay awake, but again you cannot! Give me a chance and I'll make your world so more beautiful than your dreams. It is said people lose their sleep in love! Because the world around becomes more beautiful than dreams. Or if not this, I'll just let you sleep all time and look at you. You look so calm and peaceful when lost in dreams. I would like to talk, about your choices, your dreams, your life..those times when you needed someone and I wasn't there with you. I would like to compensate. Only if you allow me to..one journey and I am all yours.
My heart broke a little as I see you getting ready to leave, i wanted to have a chat but I dare not. You were totally involved in your little world and I didn't want to disturb. As you pass by me like a gust of sweet breeze​ I realize it's time to move apart to our respective destinations...

[Jacinta Achieng]

The writer started well by narrating the sweet story i love it. some how along the line, he /she confuses the readers,its like the beautiful girl is his companion.

when he said"Give me a chance and i will make your world so more beautiful than your dreams"
and then he/she went as far as confusing the readers even more by adding that "he wasnt there with her, that he would like to compensate". This is a total stranger that he just met in a Bus.

when the writer is ending his story, he now came out clearly that "its time to move to our respective destination.

He/she should be straight so that when one is reading the book, one should tel if they were together or just admiring a total stranger, who now a lights and they both go separate ways.

[Priya12345]

The point of compensation was really building this elaborate dream of how life would be if they were together. The narrator is painting their future lives together where they talk about their dreams, their past, etc. The 'compensation' is a way of expressing 'I'd wish I'd been there for you, when things were tough'

I actually thought this was the prelude to a stalker / kidnapper / serial killer.
It was sweet that someone would daydream about s beautiful stranger. At some point, it it tips into creepy - for me that was 'one journey and I am all yours'. (The killer was the reference to 'I'll just let you sleep all the time')

There's a grammar question on the phrase 'I feel lighten'. It just doesn't read very well.

-- 01 Jun 2017, 02:28 --

The point of compensation was really building this elaborate dream of how life would be if they were together. The narrator is painting their future lives together where they talk about their dreams, their past, etc. The 'compensation' is a way of expressing 'I'd wish I'd been there for you, when things were tough'

I actually thought this was the prelude to a stalker / kidnapper / serial killer.
It was sweet that someone would daydream about s beautiful stranger. At some point, it it tips into creepy - for me that was 'one journey and I am all yours'. (The killer was the reference to 'I'll just let you sleep all the time')

There's a grammar question on the phrase 'I feel lighten'. It just doesn't read very well.

[Priyanka72282]

Thankyou so much JACINTA and PRIYA. I was not thinking of killer and they weren't companions. They were just traveling their respective journey.