Fey Lyre

[Jaime Lync]

Fey Maria Altagracia Lyre (pronounced liar) wondered if her mom could not have chosen a better name for her. Maria would have been just fine. Why add the Fey in front? Why? Just why? Mom said that Fey means precious. Well, according to Webster it also means crazy and the Scottish use it predominantly as a synonym to ‘doomed’. This wasn’t Scotland but Fey fell fated to die…soon.

Mrs. Nobody cares what her name is, made a ‘punny joke’ and instead of introducing her as Maria Lyre she called her Failure. A cacophony of cackles erupted. There were some that were not so rowdy but they could not help but chuckle. This was definitely willful of that odious teacher. She had spoken to Mrs. Nobody cares what her name is the week before when she went to collect her school text books and carefully explained her desire to be addressed as Maria Lyre. She had no problem being called Lyre Liar. Heck, her father, Mr. Lyre Liar, was a successful lawyer. Fey grew up on stories about how he was called Lyre Liar by dumb bullies but his academic and athletic achievements rang true every time. From a very young age she had decided to follow after his footsteps – excellent strides. How could a Failure succeed?

So there she was, a couple of weeks into her Failure stage, moping in bed looking up at the egg white paneled ceiling. She sluggishly got up and took out her journal from the… (Fey doesn’t want the hiding spot of her journal to be disclosed) and let loose on the page.

Today they called me failure again
even the teachers think it’s punny
wish I could be imaginary like the Easter bunny
or just a drop of ink from this pen
end my life with a period
or just bleed out
…

She ended it with an ellipsis as usual. That was a way of keeping the hope alive. Who knows what is omitted. The future is yet to be written. Who am I kidding? There is no hope for me.
It wasn’t just her name that was failure. All her teachers seemed to conspire to give her a B+ on every test and assignment. Fey had a Ricky Bobby mentality – you are either first or your last. And until recently she was first. Well, until recently she was home-schooled but that’s beside the point.

She even failed at suicide. The ‘pills’ she sneaked from her mom’s purse happened to be ‘lifesavers’ sweetie. Ha! How ironic! I’m so pathetic! Fey thought she was resolute to overdose. As this option was eliminate a Dark Vader like voice in her head urged her to slit her wrist or use a rope. Ain’t no way I’m doing any of that nonsense! Her spirit within her quickly refuted the idea. That’s when she realized that live is worth living. So what if people called her failure. I am Fey. I am precious. Life is precious. I am going through a slump right now but this is not forever. I am precious and I can and I will …
Who knows where life will take Fey Lyre. The rest of the story is yet to be written.

-- 01 May 2017, 16:53 --

So, I normally write poetry but I am hoping to branch out into short story writing. I would really appreciate any feedback...creative criticisms is awesome.

[Amagine]

I like your story, but I'm a little confused on the plot. Did she try to kill herself because she gets teased about her name? Is it because she received a "B" on assignments? I think more plot should be given about her life and why she attempted to kill herself. It would also help to better develop her character so readers can become more invested in her story.

I like that you tackle the topic of suicide. This story has a lot of potential! Good job! ?

[walkaton]

The story is ok for someone who is now starting. Needs better punctuation marks though to make it better to understand as you read. Didn't like the idea that you did not mention the name of the teacher that you referred to her as "Nobody cares what her name is".
What I have learnt from this story is that no matter what negative things people may think of you or try to say to offend you that you just have to be strong enough to take negative criticism and move positively like Lyre's dad did.

[Jaime Lync]

Thanks for the feedback Amagine and Walkaton. Appreciate the remarks. I realize the plot should have been more fleshed out. I think I might have unconsciously written ''essay'' style instead of short story. It also seems like good idea to mention the name of Mrs. Nobody cares what her name is.
Your comment has inspired me to continue practicing and sharing my short stories. Thanks again.