Children Story: How to Be a Good Big Sibling

Use this forum to post short stories that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links.
User avatar
Amagine
Posts: 5441
Joined: 04 Mar 2017, 19:27
Favorite Author: James Patterson
Bookshelf Size: 721
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-amagine.html
Latest Review: "Salome and Gogo visit Soweto" by Cora Groenewald
Reading Device: B00IKPYKWG
fav_author_id: 3251

Re: Children Story: How to Be a Good Big Sibling

Post by Amagine »

Njengnjoro wrote:Great work of art, evoked a lot of emotions.
Thank you! :D
"Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude." -A.A Milne

"I am grateful for all the books that sparked my imagination." -Unknown
Latest Review: "Salome and Gogo visit Soweto" by Cora Groenewald
User avatar
PaeonkaE
Posts: 2
Joined: 03 Nov 2017, 02:23
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by PaeonkaE »

This poem is covering a field which usually gets forgotten in the big tumult of preparing the coming of a new baby in the house. The bigger siblings get immediately in the shadows and all the adult attention is focused on the new comer. (This I speak from experience as a bigger sibling.) It is very hurting and bitter for all the older children to lose the parents attention and admiration in a moment and as if get forgotten. They think to be less important and less loved. This story is a nice example how one may prepare the older children in the family to understand the big event and get a part of it. My best recommendations!
User avatar
Amagine
Posts: 5441
Joined: 04 Mar 2017, 19:27
Favorite Author: James Patterson
Bookshelf Size: 721
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-amagine.html
Latest Review: "Salome and Gogo visit Soweto" by Cora Groenewald
Reading Device: B00IKPYKWG
fav_author_id: 3251

Post by Amagine »

PaeonkaE wrote:This poem is covering a field which usually gets forgotten in the big tumult of preparing the coming of a new baby in the house. The bigger siblings get immediately in the shadows and all the adult attention is focused on the new comer. (This I speak from experience as a bigger sibling.) It is very hurting and bitter for all the older children to lose the parents attention and admiration in a moment and as if get forgotten. They think to be less important and less loved. This story is a nice example how one may prepare the older children in the family to understand the big event and get a part of it. My best recommendations!
Thank you so much! I truly appreciate it! :D ?
"Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude." -A.A Milne

"I am grateful for all the books that sparked my imagination." -Unknown
Latest Review: "Salome and Gogo visit Soweto" by Cora Groenewald
User avatar
Chigozie Anuli Mbadugha
Book of the Month Participant
Posts: 612
Joined: 29 Apr 2017, 05:44
Favorite Book: The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace
Currently Reading: When Leaves Fall
Bookshelf Size: 1583
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-chigozie-anuli-mbadugha.html
Latest Review: Winning the War on Cancer by Sylvie Beljanski

Post by Chigozie Anuli Mbadugha »

This was awesome!! Please consider publishing as a picture book. I think it will easily find its way into lots of family bookshelves and would make a good new baby gift for older siblings. I liked it very much! Well done!
User avatar
Monee1995
Posts: 1
Joined: 14 Feb 2018, 17:58
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Monee1995 »

This was a heart warming reading. I loved how you were preparing he or she for their new sibling by explaining something's that they can do to become a good sibling. I think this will make the child not to feel left out.
User avatar
Chiffoe
Posts: 3
Joined: 24 Feb 2018, 15:34
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Chiffoe »

... The style of the composition rhyms like poem.. So lovely.
User avatar
Helen_Combe
Posts: 2493
Joined: 18 Feb 2018, 12:17
Favorite Book: The Martian
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 193
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-helen-combe.html
Latest Review: And The Trees Began To Move by Lisa Gammon Olson
Reading Device: B00M4L4MFC

Post by Helen_Combe »

It’s a very nice piece, but I think if it’s aimed at children, it needs to be either poem or prose. Children like patterns and a poem that part rhymes or doesn’t follow a strict metre will frustrate them. The popularity of Dr Seuss is based on his perfect rhyme and metre.
A thesaurus is necessary, essential, indispensable, vital, crucial and fundamental.
Ekah Emmanuel
Posts: 11
Joined: 07 Mar 2018, 08:28
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Ekah Emmanuel »

After reading this lovely peom you would know that the poem is a guide and the guide is a poem, this is a guide to help an older baby take care his/her younger baby sibling, this guide would help older babies alot, especially those older babies who see their younger baby sibling as obstacles to them and their parents, if there is something like this in book stores I think all babies in their families would love themselves and live happily without hating each other at all. This peice of work brings about well brought up children who share a bound of love amongst themselves. This peice of work is the kind that would bring love amongst children in each and every family. I think the writer of this work should make more of this kind of work, publish this work and put it out to sale in different book stores. Nice work.
User avatar
JIMBABS
Posts: 1
Joined: 10 Mar 2018, 05:33
Currently Reading: Final Notice
Bookshelf Size: 2
Reading Device: 1400697484

Post by JIMBABS »

This is a well done write up, though the diction of it is a simple and straightforward but you are inconsistent in you rhyme choice. apart from that the work is educating.
User avatar
Chiffoe
Posts: 3
Joined: 24 Feb 2018, 15:34
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Chiffoe »

Younger siblings usually earns the older ones sense of responsibility, also engulfs them with some amount of jealosy for earning every attraction and attention from family and friends.. Nice write up!
Biigggg
Posts: 28
Joined: 22 Mar 2018, 08:39
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 19

Post by Biigggg »

How to be a good sibling, the poem is a good one, l can imagine a five year old waiting to meet, the newest member of the family, the baby, the level of excitement, it also teaches children to love their young siblings.
User avatar
Chigozie Anuli Mbadugha
Book of the Month Participant
Posts: 612
Joined: 29 Apr 2017, 05:44
Favorite Book: The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace
Currently Reading: When Leaves Fall
Bookshelf Size: 1583
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-chigozie-anuli-mbadugha.html
Latest Review: Winning the War on Cancer by Sylvie Beljanski

Post by Chigozie Anuli Mbadugha »

This poem about sibling rivalry is fabulous! I loved it. well done!
Post Reply

Return to “Creative Original Works: Short Stories”