Growing up in an abusive home

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CambaReviewer
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Growing up in an abusive home

Post by CambaReviewer » 28 Oct 2017, 03:56

This is an excerpt from a short story collection Beyond the Trial by Chigozie Anuli Mbadugha. (Published in 2015)
It highlights the challenges of growing up in an abusive environment. The excerpt is one of the childhood memories of the main character Ada. Domestic Violence should not be ignored. Let's all speak out! Corrections, comments, personal experiences are welcome...


“One of the most memorable events of my childhood was when a visit by my maternal uncles coincided with one of Fathers major beatings. Both Jude and Mother had black eyes and bruises to show for his callousness. I forget now what had led to the beating, but usually it was nothing major. It could even have been something as minor as, who moved his shoes from his designated location for them. He would then deduce insolence and insubordination from one’s mannerism.

On the day in question, Father had stormed out of the house after venting his anger on Jude and Mother as was his custom. Barely two hours later, my maternal uncles – Theo and Raphael, visited us. Mother and Jude were hesitant to come out and stayed in the bedroom. Mother asked me to tell her brothers she was not home because she did not want them to see her bruises. I refused to lie. I actually wanted them to see the bruises. In fact, if the thought had so much as crossed my mind, I would have invited them myself.
After waiting in the living room for nearly thirty minutes and not seeing their sister, their suspicions were aroused. They stormed into our room to find Mother and Jude nursing their wounds. I had never seen my uncles so angry. They left abruptly without a word. I had also never seen Mother so afraid in my life. She feared they might seriously maim or kill our father. I felt he deserved whatever he got from my uncles but being reasonable men, I knew they wouldn't kill him or cause him to have any permanent disability.
Father did not come home that night which further heightened my mothers anxiety. She was awake most of the night worrying about the situation.

On my part, I slept well. I had this firm assurance that nothing serious was happening to him. He was brought home the next day by my maternal uncles. They had picked him from Clara's café and given him a thorough beating overnight. We welcomed home a sombre and sullen father, who never lifted his hands to beat our mother again. However, the verbal abuse got much worse.”

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O K Emmanuel
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Post by O K Emmanuel » 30 Oct 2017, 09:37

Hmmm, this is a serious matter. Well beating the father is wrong I think, and for the husband to beat his wife is outlaw. I think there are many ways to settled this kind of matter rather than beating the head of home; this he would never forget peharps. Well I will use this medium to advice and correct men not to beat their wife "that is a bad attitude". Thank you

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Post by CambaReviewer » 30 Oct 2017, 15:37

Thanks O.K Emmanuel for your comment. You are right. Two wrongs never make things right! Thanks for your insightful input. Best wishes!

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Post by Dabuul » 31 Oct 2017, 01:44

Violent is never the answer, it can only groom one to a harder/though being in a negative way, the only solution to it is ignore at that paticular moment, when everyone is cool, you dialogue, you speak in peace and even if you don't come to an understanding at d moment but be sure it will eventually come. We have to patient with each other to avoid violence. Thank you.

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Post by Njengnjoro » 31 Oct 2017, 05:44

This covers well some of the significant issues that ought to be addressed, good job.

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Post by CambaReviewer » 31 Oct 2017, 17:12

Thanks for the commendation Njengnjoro! Well done!

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Post by Nomzamo Nawodya » 01 Nov 2017, 12:48

I agree that two wrongs don't make a right but also at times people learn by getting a taste of their own medicine. ,the father now knows the pain and torture mother and Jude go through and because of that he will never repeat it.
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
R. W. Emerson

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Post by CambaReviewer » 02 Nov 2017, 03:18

You do have a point, Nomzamo. Thanks for your insightful input!

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Post by Gabyap » 02 Nov 2017, 15:59

That served him right, thanks for the great story.

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Post by CambaReviewer » 03 Nov 2017, 16:12

Hi Gabyap. Thanks for reading and providing feedback! Deeply appreciated!

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Post by Butch Acuna » 29 Nov 2017, 02:40

A very timely topic, that should merit the attention of everyone, the writing style is narrative, just like an statement submitted to proper authorities, I would rather comment on the social aspect, abuse of women and children is a worldwide problem, but if we involved ourselves, it can be remedied.

Just recently a young girl came running to my son's home trembling with fear, she was hiding from her father, I served her breakfast and went on to work, upon reaching a municipal police station I used their phone to call the police where the incident happened, I identified myself to the women and children's desk officer and filed a complaint in behalf of the girl. Immediately, the policewoman called the social welfare official and together they hunted for the father, they did not stop until they found him after five hours of search, they arrested him immediately, the incident was never repeated again.

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Post by CambaReviewer » 01 Dec 2017, 14:27

Thanks for your input. You are right. If everyone takes action and shows zero tolerance for domestic violence, we can stamp it out of our communities!

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Post by Maroosh » 07 Dec 2017, 03:34

I realise that 2 wrongs don't make a right but while I know that's the truth, I love it when someone gets what they deserve. After all, what the father did was a lot worse. Great story :)

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Post by CambaReviewer » 08 Dec 2017, 23:48

Thanks Maroosh!! Glad you liked the excerpt form the story!

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