Flash Fiction- Mortally Yours

Use this forum to post short stories that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links.
Post Reply
Michelle Menezes
Posts: 161
Joined: 24 Apr 2021, 13:17
2021 Reading Goal: 150
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 17
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-michelle-menezes.html
Latest Review: Serendipity Mystery: Diary of a Snoopy Cat by R.F. Kristi

Flash Fiction- Mortally Yours

Post by Michelle Menezes »

Noah was a nervous mess. But then he always was, when it came to her. Everything needed to be perfect. He mentally went through the list once more, making sure he hadn't missed anything.
The sun was almost setting, and very soon the sky would be filled with a myriad of colors, reflecting in the pond before him, creating a beautiful picture that would forever be captured in his memory.

Once he was sure that everything was in place, he sat down on the blanket and waited. His thoughts wandered to the last time they met. It was always the same. Every year he'd fly to Paris, one day before their anniversary. He'd stay at the same hotel and reserve the grounds for that night. She'd come, and they'd run into each other's arms and kiss till one of them stopped to catch their breath. Then they'd laugh till their sides hurt and eat till they were ready to burst. He'd give her roses and sometimes read to her. And it would all be great until the same topic would come up.

"We need to stop meeting. You know we cannot be together. We're just setting ourselves up for heartbreak," she'd say, with tears in her eyes.

"I know that. But I refuse to give up on us. You know I love you, and there can never be anyone else. I'll have you in whatever way I can, even if it means coming here once a year for the rest of my life," he'd tell her, wiping her face.

"And what happens when you can't come anymore?"

That one question would fill him with guilt. He didn't want to abandon her later, but he also couldn't let go. Long-distance relationships are hard.

He was pulled out of his reminiscing by the shooting star making its way towards the ground. He quickly got to his feet and chased it. His feet halted when he saw the familiar light shining through the cocoon. She straightened up and let the silks fall around her glowing body. He smiled and saw her face mirroring the same expression. She looked as wonderful as the first time he saw her six years ago when he'd wandered on the grounds trying to find some peace, and she'd crashed right before him in all her glory.

"I missed you so much!" Lysandra said, showering him with kisses.

"Me too. I love you Lys, and I wish I could kiss you all day for the rest of my life."

But they both knew it could never be because one was a human and the other, a star. And so, they met every year on that one particular day, when Lysandra could take human form, till eventually Noah was gone forever.

She still kept coming. She'd sit on that exact patch of grass and watch the sky, remembering the love of her life, while silent tears rolled down her cheeks.
Shakiru A
Posts: 7
Joined: 16 May 2021, 07:44
2021 Reading Goal: 56
Currently Reading: My "Enemy" in Vietnam
Bookshelf Size: 14

Post by Shakiru A »

:roll: This title is well crafted, the meaning surface in the last two paragraphs, I love this.
Michelle Menezes
Posts: 161
Joined: 24 Apr 2021, 13:17
2021 Reading Goal: 150
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 17
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-michelle-menezes.html
Latest Review: Serendipity Mystery: Diary of a Snoopy Cat by R.F. Kristi

Post by Michelle Menezes »

Shakiru A wrote: 09 Jun 2021, 06:35 :roll: This title is well crafted, the meaning surface in the last two paragraphs, I love this.
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it. :)
User avatar
KristyKhem
Posts: 696
Joined: 20 Feb 2018, 13:22
2021 Reading Goal: 50
Favorite Book: Carmela
Currently Reading: COME TRAVEL WITH ME and my Cameras
Bookshelf Size: 174
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-kristykhem.html
Latest Review: Uncle Hen's Gumboots by Liam Dwyer

Post by KristyKhem »

What a poignant tale! A star and a human love story - it's beautiful, yet emotional. Long-distance relationships are hard, but seeing each other only once a year is really really difficult!
Michelle Menezes
Posts: 161
Joined: 24 Apr 2021, 13:17
2021 Reading Goal: 150
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 17
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-michelle-menezes.html
Latest Review: Serendipity Mystery: Diary of a Snoopy Cat by R.F. Kristi

Post by Michelle Menezes »

KristyKhem wrote: 09 Jun 2021, 20:40 What a poignant tale! A star and a human love story - it's beautiful, yet emotional. Long-distance relationships are hard, but seeing each other only once a year is really really difficult!
Thank you for taking the time to read my story, and commenting on it. I haven't written in a really long time, so I was worried about how this one would turn out.
Post Reply

Return to “Creative Original Works: Short Stories”