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We are on route to visit my brother. Our journey did not get off to an auspicious start. I went through security first, at my father’s insistence. I was replacing my laptop, only to glance behind me and see him surrounded by security personnel. Their scanner picked up something and they need to open his luggage. Now I know for a fact, that my sister went to great lengths to ensure Dad knew about the 100ml liquids rule. And Dad knows I know. “Dad have you got something in your bag you shouldn’t have?” “No, no, no,” he replies with wide-eyed innocence but breaks eye contact with me at the last minute. It’s good to know he has some measure of conscience. We remove the one-litre bottle of sunscreen from his hand luggage. He can’t resist belligerently pointing out that it cost less than my 100ml tube. I decide to let it go in the interests of a smooth passage. But it is not to be. “Your daddy has a knife” whispers the nice security lady to me confidentially, smiling sweetly at Crazy Sunscreen Guy. “Dad they’re saying you have a knife in your bag?” Again, the wide-eyed innocent act. Truly my mother was a saint. The outline of my parents’ favorite kitchen utility knife is there on the screen in black and white for us all to see.
Australia seems like a very long way away.