Official Review: My Unhappy Halloween

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Annelore Trujillo
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Official Review: My Unhappy Halloween

Post by Annelore Trujillo »

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "My Unhappy Halloween" by Matthew westerfield.]
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1 out of 4 stars
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My Unhappy Halloween: Frights by Matthew Westerfield is exactly what it sounds like - a frightful children’s Halloween story. In just 27 pages, the book follows Eddy and his friends through their terrifying Halloween experience. Everything seems normal until Eddy notices that someone has moved into the abandoned house across the street right before Halloween. The house has been abandoned for twelve years, so no one is expecting it. Suddenly, all sorts of weird events start occurring. Is it a coincidence? Will Eddy and his friends make it through Halloween?

The one plus of this book was that it seemed like a tale that might catch the attention of children. The author really spun a web of a story. There were twists all over that I didn’t expect. It is a little out there, but that’s what children would like about it. It sounds like a story that my eleven and twelve-year-old students would tell me. I’m guessing kids of that age would probably get a kick out of it.

Unfortunately, the book was not edited. There were numerous errors that were very distracting. Just a few examples were incorrect or missing punctuation, incorrect word usage, and incorrect capitalization. Since this is a children’s book, keeping the book free from errors is very important. I’ve said this countless times: children learn from the books they read. If the book has incorrect grammar, they learn to use incorrect grammar. It is essential that their books are edited well. The formatting of the book could also use work. For example, there weren’t paragraph breaks where there should have been, which made the book even more confusing to read.

Even without the grammar mistakes, the book wasn’t well-written. The author strayed from the main topic quite a bit. There was a whole chapter that really had nothing to do with the rest of the book. This made it so that the plot wasn’t cohesive; there were bits and pieces of the story all over the place. In other parts of the story, the author seemed to ramble, and a lot of the writing was extremely repetitive. Ideas would be restated several times in consecutive sentences in which the wording was just rearranged.

All of that being said, I give this book 1 out of 4 stars. There’s some potential, but it needs a lot of work. The plot is there, but it needs to be fine-tuned. The repetition needs to be eliminated, and the story should stay on track. The book also needs another round of editing. As it is currently written, I honestly can’t recommend it to anyone. While I think children might enjoy the story itself, I really wouldn’t want them to read a book with so many errors.

******
My Unhappy Halloween
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Manang Muyang
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Post by Manang Muyang »

The grammar errors are the worst of the frights, I guess! Seriously, children's books should be error-free. We adults can handle it, but children are too precious to scare with bad grammar.
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Post by Sanisense »

Nice piece, please take care of the grammatical errors.
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Post by Samantha Simoneau »

anneloretrujillo wrote: 31 May 2018, 14:58 Since this is a children’s book, keeping the book free from errors is very important. I’ve said this countless times: children learn from the books they read. If the book has incorrect grammar, they learn to use incorrect grammar. It is essential that their books are edited well.
I completely agree! This is my number one beef with poorly-written children's books. We aren't doing them any favors when we aren't diligent about their reading material being error-free. Great review!
Samantha Simoneau

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Post by Elizabeth Pass »

It would almost be a good first draft, but not at all ready for publication. I agree that children learn from the books they read, and that makes editing extra important. You're review is very comprehensive. Thank you.
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Post by gen_g »

What a pity, the premise seemed interesting. I'm sorry that it did not live up to your expectations, and I do agree with you wholeheartedly that serious grammar errors are very much a turn-off. Thanks for your detailed review.
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Post by Nmadinachi Egwim »

Like someone above mentioned, it looks like draft material not a final stage, ready to be published book. And true, children should not be given poorly edited books to read, because apart from storyline, grammar and good structure is a key part of the entire essence of children's books.
Well done for your review!
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Post by Jackie Holycross »

Miriam Molina wrote: 01 Jun 2018, 03:09 The grammar errors are the worst of the frights, I guess! Seriously, children's books should be error-free. We adults can handle it, but children are too precious to scare with bad grammar.
I love your sense of humor. :lol2:
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Post by MsTri »

Yikes! It sounds like the writing itself was the scariest part of the book! I'm totally on-board with the idea that children's books should be spotless when it comes to the grammar and syntax! ANY book with so many negatives would be bad, but for such a short book? Ugh. Along with the unnecessary chapter and the ramblings, I'm guessing that this book easily could have been only 20 or so pages had it been properly edited, huh?
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Post by abd123 »

Miriam Molina wrote: 01 Jun 2018, 03:09 The grammar errors are the worst of the frights, I guess! Seriously, children's books should be error-free. We adults can handle it, but children are too precious to scare with bad grammar.
Book should be error free as this is a Childern book so avoid grammar errors so that childern can handle easily.
Annelore Trujillo
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Post by Annelore Trujillo »

MsTri wrote: 01 Jun 2018, 21:18 Yikes! It sounds like the writing itself was the scariest part of the book! I'm totally on-board with the idea that children's books should be spotless when it comes to the grammar and syntax! ANY book with so many negatives would be bad, but for such a short book? Ugh. Along with the unnecessary chapter and the ramblings, I'm guessing that this book easily could have been only 20 or so pages had it been properly edited, huh?
It definitely could have been written in less than 20 pages!
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Post by joshfee77 »

Repetition, rambling, grammatical errors: this book really doesn’t have too much to recommend it. As a bit of a spelling and grammar “Nazi”, it really frustrates me to see the volume of poorly edited material people flood into the online marketplace. If you can’t spell or write English properly, I don’t believe you should be published. Harsh but true. Thanks for your honest review!
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Post by klwoodford »

Thanks for the super informative review! It sounds like this book could use a little TLC. I like the idea of the story and I think kids will too but with that many errors it doesn't seem like it would be beneficial to read.
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