Official Review: Sid and Portia: Winning Together
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- kandscreeley
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Official Review: Sid and Portia: Winning Together
Sid and Portia: Winning Together by Scott D. Mcdaniel is a children's book following Sid, Portia, and their friends in comic book style. Generally, each set of three frames tells a different story about the characters; however, some are longer and a few shorter. Interspersed with these comics are games to allow for participation. There are some picture "find its," mazes, a word search, and games the children can play with their friends.
I wish I could tell you more about the exploits of the characters, but, quite honestly, I'm not sure there was a point to any of them. The title seems to come from a race that Sid and Portia participate in together. Unfortunately, there are three frames telling about it followed by many other short snippets about other irrelevant items. It didn't flow, so it was easy to get lost. If I couldn't follow the story, I'm not convinced a child could.
Worse still, I never felt like I got to know Sid, Portia, or their friends. Everyone is introduced in one big drawing at the start of the book, but that's it. From there we jump straight into short stories. There was a better way to handle the introduction so that we learn a little more about each person.
I did, however, like the games. I think it's a fabulous idea to get children involved with the book. Yet, these could have been thought out better. The first "find it" has the reader looking for a baby doll and a dolly. What's the difference? It also has children searching for a boom box. Would they even know what that is? In addition, there was a game to play with a friend called "Duckship Lazer War." While I understood how to play the game, I didn't quite understand how you won. On the other side, the word search is fun, and the second and third "find its" are easier to play.
There was also a formatting issue with the book on the Kindle App. The games are right side up, but the comic sections are sideways. In order to read the book, you must lock the app. Then, it's necessary to keep turning your phone to alternately read the comics or the games. It's doable but not ideal.
Furthermore, while there wasn't an overabundance of errors, there were more than I like seeing in a children's book. In what I would consider the prologue, the author twice uses leaned instead of learned. Necklace is misspelled within the story itself, and there's a missing period. At the end, there are some sentences that don't start with capital letters. An editor could fix many of the problems with this book.
The last item that I feel needs addressing is the mixed message the author sends. In one of the cartoons, a character is getting robbed. It states that the friends helped her out of this sticky situation. Then, in small print, it says violence is never the answer and that this was solved by everyone going out to dinner. I understand where the author is coming from, but it doesn't make sense. Violence isn't the answer, but if you're getting robbed, going to dinner together isn't going to work. Perhaps he could have used this to introduce the police, telling kids how they help out in these situations.
To sum up, the book has potential, but it has not been realized. This story isn't ready for an audience yet. Therefore, I have no choice but to rate Sid and Portia: Winning Together 1 out of 4 stars. If the author puts more work and thought into this one along with having it professionally edited, I would gladly change my mind. As it is, though, I just can't recommend this to any audience.
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Sid and Portia: Winning Together
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—Neil Gaiman
- Jaime Lync
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Writing a Children's book seems like it should be easy, but there are a lot of considerations to take in mind.
Thanks for sharing.
- kandscreeley
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Yeah, I know what a boom box is, but I'm old. I really think this could make it. It just needs revision. Thanks for commenting.Jaime Lync wrote: ↑22 Dec 2019, 13:52 Wow, so sad that the potential of this book was not brought out properly. The idea of games to engage the children sounds fun, but like you said, I don't think they would know what a boombox even is.
Writing a Children's book seems like it should be easy, but there are a lot of considerations to take in mind.
Thanks for sharing.
—Neil Gaiman
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Luckily it was short. It has potential. It just needs work. Thanks!Stephanie Elizabeth wrote: ↑22 Dec 2019, 14:50 I am sorry you had to persevere through this one! Thanks for the honest review!
—Neil Gaiman
- kandscreeley
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I hate giving ones. My goal is always to help the author make the book the best it can be. Thanks!unamilagra wrote: ↑22 Dec 2019, 16:39 Yikes, this sounds like a big mess. I wonder what the author's goal was in writing this book. Hopefully your critique will help him figure out what his goal is and streamline the book accordingly. Thanks for your honest review.
—Neil Gaiman
- Kaitlyn Canedy
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Thank you for the honest review.
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You an I, tonight!
You may forget the warmth he gave,
I will forget the light.
When you have done, pray tell me
That I my thoughts may dim;
Haste! lest while you're lagging.
I may remember him!
Emily Dickinson
- kandscreeley
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That's always my goal. I hope the authors can use the review to make the book the best it can be. Thanks!Katie Canedy wrote: ↑22 Dec 2019, 19:16 Wow, it doesn't seem like you enjoyed this book at all. Such a shame though! Maybe the author will read your advice and use it to improve this story. Thanks for an honest review.
—Neil Gaiman
- kandscreeley
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The games were a great touch. I enjoyed them and hope the author keeps them. Thanks!Kanda_theGreat wrote: ↑23 Dec 2019, 09:46 After reading your review, I couldn't stop being empathetic to the endurance you had while reading the book. I also wish to complement the author's creativity in the inclusion of games to kill the monotony of narration with the exception of the "boom box" bit.
Thank you for the honest review.
—Neil Gaiman
- kandscreeley
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I think the author could have expanded on the title story and run with that. I hope he can revise this some. Thanks.LinaMueller wrote: ↑23 Dec 2019, 09:46 It seems that author has much to improve on. Thanks for your honesty. I'm glad that you saw potential in the book.
—Neil Gaiman
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