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perusaphone
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Post by perusaphone »

Surely a situation within a story context, that has extremely graphic detail, is getting away from the personal imagination utilized by the reader. If all detail is so explicitly written, either about sex/ violence, or anything else for that matter, the author really should be making films instead of writing.
A small token of explanation into what is taking place, and indeed, what is the end result, should be enough. The reader naturally supplies the rest, in whatever mindset he or she is in at the time of reading. If the reader is quiet and calm, well, the take on the book may be a lot different from someone who is angry and just itching to get their fingers on a trigger. To give all in the text surely must take away the imagination of the reader, and implant the authors restrictive viewpoints.
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tinyViolin
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Post by tinyViolin »

Well, I also think that too heavily described scenes about anything will leave the reader bored and/or annoyed.

But, perhaps I see a difference between explicit and detailed that actually isn't there.

Explicit, for me, means there's no question about what's happening in the scene. *winkwink nudgenudge* Instead of ending the chapter after the two main characters finally fall into bed together (did they just fall asleep?) you go a little further. Instead of talking about c*ck or poosie, you write about warm tongues and fists in hair.

It's not necessary, or always a good idea, but it can work.

Overly detailed, however, is certain death. I once read something along the lines of this (in a published bestseller, mind you!): "She stood up from the breakfast table and stepped three times to the sink. The plate was in her hand. She had picked it up from the table, after she said she would rinse it off. It had crumbs on it from the toast she'd just eaten. She reached out and turned the handle on the sink so the water would flow out. The water flowed out. She put the plate under the water and the crumbs washed away. Some didn't. She used the index finger of her right hand to push the crumbs. The crumbs were all gone. She set the plate down in the sink. The plate lay flat at the bottom of the sink. Her hands were wet...."

And for ten pages I was thinking, "ok...ok...ok. Where's the punchline, when does the point come?" And it never did.
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Post by darbook »

i dont right Explicit just because some of might readers might not like it and will not come back to read my stuff anymore . . . .
the tiger fights
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Post by the tiger fights »

I agree that the use of explicit material should always foster the telling of the story. And, if used properly, such scenes can provoke strong emotional responses . . . which I enjoy as part of my reading experience.
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Post by Timpane »

My teacher said as a writer we need to tap into places we usually wouldn't go.I felt kinda gross, but as a writer I wanted to try it, you know what I mean
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Post by love_aud »

I do try and just stop and let the reader to try and figure out what I mean but yes sometimes I do like to write erotic things in my writing
Love Audrey, future photojournalist/writer :)
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Post by perusaphone »

Timpane wrote:My teacher said as a writer we need to tap into places we usually wouldn't go.I felt kinda gross, but as a writer I wanted to try it, you know what I mean
I once wrote a short story some years back in which the chief character had to vomit, I mention this in response to your comments. This guy had consumed way too much drink, he was falling about making a complete noodle of himself before he eventually 'barfed'. Now, the detail was quite intimate and extremely disgusting throughout, the net result being him falling asleep wrapped around the porcelain altar. When this story came up for a book group review some while later, it was said that nearly all the readers skipped over this bit as it was way too graphic, but, it was a human event that happens to loads of folk, everyday all over the world, so, why the skipping..?? Is it because most people know what is occurring anyway and, have no need to read about it, or are they just disgusted ??? Then again, does this 'missing out' of reading the detailed minutae' in violent scenes, or sex scenes still occur because of readers righteous indignation, or, maybe, as it becomes a different 'subject' that needs closer scrutiny, the reader misses nothing....?? :shock: 8)
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Post by Starchaser3000 »

My manuscript, which is a parody spoof of the fiction-fantasy genre, has parts that detail explicit sex & violence, and drug and alcohol abuse from some of the characters. I tried my best to make it outrageously cartoonish to fit the intended overriding theme of satire within the plot. But I think some potential readers might interpret this in bad taste. If I had written a serious high fantasy book, I could understand people being turned off by this. Since I'm trying to convince potential readers that I have written a parody/satire instead, I am hoping that people will....get it.
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Post by Maud Fitch »

Starchaser3000 wrote:My manuscript, which is a parody spoof of the fiction-fantasy genre, has parts that detail explicit sex & violence, and drug and alcohol abuse from some of the characters. I tried my best to make it outrageously cartoonish to fit the intended overriding theme of satire within the plot. But I think some potential readers might interpret this in bad taste. If I had written a serious high fantasy book, I could understand people being turned off by this. Since I'm trying to convince potential readers that I have written a parody/satire instead, I am hoping that people will....get it.
Don't underestimate your audience. If you've ever read any of Jasper Fforde's work, you'll know what I mean. Not so much explicit as a spoof, a witty parody of literature.
"Every story has three sides to it - yours, mine and the facts" Foster Meharny Russell
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Post by Fran »

Maud Fitch wrote:
Starchaser3000 wrote:My manuscript, which is a parody spoof of the fiction-fantasy genre, has parts that detail explicit sex & violence, and drug and alcohol abuse from some of the characters. I tried my best to make it outrageously cartoonish to fit the intended overriding theme of satire within the plot. But I think some potential readers might interpret this in bad taste. If I had written a serious high fantasy book, I could understand people being turned off by this. Since I'm trying to convince potential readers that I have written a parody/satire instead, I am hoping that people will....get it.
Don't underestimate your audience. If you've ever read any of Jasper Fforde's work, you'll know what I mean. Not so much explicit as a spoof, a witty parody of literature.
Am I terribly naive in wanting authors to write books because the story is inside them and some mysterious force is compelling them to get it out and written down ... whether anyone ever reads it is not their primary concern? It depresses me when authors start from a marketing department perspective & try to second guess what the future reader/s will want to read.
I know authors have to eat & I guess the starving artist in the garret is no longer fashionable but please when I pick up a new book to read I want to be shocked, angered, distressed, provoked, educated & upset every bit as much as I want to be uplifted, entertained, gratified, thrilled etc etc

I know dream on Fran ..... I guess I was just born in the wrong era ... ah well :wink:
We fade away, but vivid in our eyes
A world is born again that never dies.
- My Home by Clive James
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Post by perusaphone »

You are not alone, I have a garret, I have no cash, I have dozens of stories both written and in 'the head', but I leave a pile of material for my future family and any others who want to read it. I wish I had more stuff of my ancestors, their memories, their thoughts, their way of life... How many others also wish that these days..?? I leave a legacy behind, it may not be good, but it's mine, warts and all..!!
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Starchaser3000
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Post by Starchaser3000 »

Maud Fitch wrote:
Starchaser3000 wrote:My manuscript, which is a parody spoof of the fiction-fantasy genre, has parts that detail explicit sex & violence, and drug and alcohol abuse from some of the characters. I tried my best to make it outrageously cartoonish to fit the intended overriding theme of satire within the plot. But I think some potential readers might interpret this in bad taste. If I had written a serious high fantasy book, I could understand people being turned off by this. Since I'm trying to convince potential readers that I have written a parody/satire instead, I am hoping that people will....get it.
Don't underestimate your audience. If you've ever read any of Jasper Fforde's work, you'll know what I mean. Not so much explicit as a spoof, a witty parody of literature.
Thank you for that reference. I look forward in others like you helping me to learn more about like minded authors I have never heard about so that I can develop and hone my craft.

To Fran: I agree with everything you said. :D I would hope that IF readers like you were to someday read my book/series they would feel all those emotions you just mentioned.
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Post by Kenn_Baker »

I recently completed my first novel which is available as an ebook. The book is about vampires. That should tell you a lot about the content, unfortunately so many vampire books make them these brooding whiny glittery creatures that don't want to hurt people. In my book, they are predators that kill and F#ck. That being said, I was walking a tight rope with the sex scenes. I was replacing what I would normally say with what I thought I should say. I let a fiend of mine read it and when she finished she told me, she liked almost everything but the sex scenes. She said they seemed edited. We discussed it at length and I told her what i really wanted to say and I rewrote it.

Now that my book is being read I am getting responses and reviews from people who say the primitive nature of the book and the primitive nature of the scenes mesh and are arousing (men and women). That was my intent, to put you into the predator's mindset. So in the case of this book it works and yes I curse...in fact here is a sample (not of a sex scene, because I'm new to this forum and unsure of the rules, but it has sexual undertones):

He bites her lip, hard. “Oww! What the f#ck!” She creeches. This is “That” moment, James thinks. She will see him for the monster he is. She tries to pull away feebly, as James grabs a big handful of tit and yanks her forcefully towards his mouth. “Stop...” is all she gets out before his fangs meet her fleshy neck in a powerful snap. Adrenaline filled blood explodes into James’ mouth and the orgasm of it shoots through his entire being.

His toes curl and his cock swells as the life essence of the beautiful, but annoying actress drains. The salty metallic flavor of it sends wave after wave of pleasure shooting through his every inch.

He feels Cindy’s heart beat weaken with every gush of fresh blood that enters his mouth. He feels her soft fleshy breast growing cold as he squeezes her in a lovers embrace. He forgives her annoying voice; he absolves her of any sin. For a moment he loves her fully and completely... but that moment is short lived.

Now, if I was writing a scene about a woman being raped, i would use a whole different mind frame and the intent would be to disgust, not arouse.
the tiger fights
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Post by the tiger fights »

I like the scene and since the vampire is killing his prey the sexual undertones serve to complement the whole reading experience. Good job! Hope your book does well.
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Post by Starchaser3000 »

Here is a a sexual innuendo scene intermixed with a pseudo serious poetic narration from mine. Enjoy :twisted:

S*it helped the old man open the door even further while still trying to plead his case: “Look, I don’t think it’s morally right that I have sex with your wife, that you have been happily married to all these years!”
As they opened the door far enough so that they could finally go inside, the old man waved his hand in dismissal.
“Oh rubbish, it’s perfectly all right by me, really!”
The both of them finally went inside, and what S*it saw caused him to be in awe and wonder. There was a big marble staircase that directly led to the helm propped up on a finely ornate altar of precious metals and jewels. It was set against a background of a big maroon curtain. The entire chamber was the best preserved when it came to statues, mosaics, frescoes, and other ornate designs of ancient art. It involved more detailed depictions of dragons, a fiery phoenix, as well as ambiguous demonic and angelic beings intertwined with one another in fighting the recurring theme of the eternal cosmic battle.

And in a corner he saw what he thought to be the portal that legends say led to the heavenly cosmos that the Creator had ascended to many ages ago. Only now it was a large shattered circular shaped mirror that was now nothing more than a well-kept relic. S*it thought that it still managed to give him an imaginative sense of what it might have looked liked had it not been for the visibly missing pieces that now rendered it incomplete and useless.

It was then that S*it focused his attention on the bottom of the staircase where the priestess and wife of the old man was standing in anticipation by a nice comfortable bed. To S*it’s surprise, the old priestess wasn’t as bad looking as he expected her to be. She had long old white hair, and a somewhat wrinkled up face with sunken cheeks. But her draped crimson robe still managed to display a sexually mature woman with a nice voluptuous body wearing a G-string two-piece silk bra and underwear. Her body reminded S*it of Kit’s except that this lady was a little taller with more meat on her bones. And she had paler and smoother skin compared to Kit’s dark stripes and orange body with slightly thin soft fur. Bottom line, S*it became more agreeable to go on with the ritual as he slyly shrugged his shoulders.
“Eh…OK...since you talked me into it.”
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