My Greatest Writing Fear. What's Yours?
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My Greatest Writing Fear. What's Yours?
In graduate school, my greatest writing fear, almost to panic attack intensity, occurred when using a manual typewriter. My wife had bought one at Goodwill in 1970. It had a two inch drop before the letter key hit the paper. I was freaked out that I might place a paragraph out of order and have to restart the entire assignment at the beginning in order to correct my work. I used so much White Out, reportedly invented by Alice Cooper’s mother (the fake transgender rocker), that sometimes I would be too high to continue the assignment.
In 1977, I got an electric typewriter as a Christmas present. It was also purchased at Goodwill, but had an auto-feed correction film, so I didn’t get high as often. My greatest writing fear that accommodated this new technology was replacement ribbon. Before a big school assignment, I had to triple check that I had replacement cartridges. They could only be bought at office supply shops that were closed on Sundays. I became so “paranoid” about being in the middle of an assignment and running out of film that I probably still have a couple cartridges stashed someplace in an overwhelmed drawer.
I was also afraid of computers when they were first introduced. I worked as an investigator for the WV Supreme Court. This job involved a lot of report writing. I felt too old to learn the technology. I was so afraid that, after printing a report, I would circle paragraphs and draw arrows for my secretary to relocate sections for the final drafts to be presented to my bosses.
Today, my greatest writing fear concerns self-promotion. I’ve learned the basics of word processing, nothing fancy, own a computer, and participate in cyberspace. But, will I become so consumed with marketing that I neglect writing? I’m also afraid that if I don’t market I might as well draw pictures on the walls of caves. Or, that after I die the manuscripts stuffed under my bed will become a trash pile in front of my house. Worse, I’m afraid that I might become tempted to write fan fiction instead of listening to my cross-genre heart. Self-promotion, for me, is a significant barrier to creativity and the possibility that I may not achieve a balance in activity level has become the greatest writing fear that I’ve ever faced.
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Anyway, I'm pretty fearless in general. But I am always afraid I'm going to post something on this forum that's completely idiotic. That would be a first!
- moderntimes
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I'm 73 and have no trepidation about computers. But I've used them for years -- in my "day jobs" I wrote high level engineering & scientific programs in Fortran, then C++ for analysis of structures and chemical processes, also for search and transfer algorithms used in printed circuit and microprocessor design. I started programming in Basic using a teletype to send my programs to a Cray.
I also was quickly immersed in typewriters when I wrote copy for a newspaper. We had these big clunky Underwoods, as you describe, with maybe a 2" push before a letter was typed. In hard copy newswriting - before computers - nothing was ever erased, for legal purposes. Instead of WhiteOut, we would "XM" a passage then hit the return lever to space down the page. By "XM" I mean this -- backspace to the passage or word you want to delete, caps lock, then with 2 fingers type "XMXMXM" to cover the type. Nothing is ever erased. That was newswriting before computers.
And as you so correctly describe, I fought all the time in college to write first drafts that were reasonable and so I didn't have to retype pages if I changed or moved a paragraph or sentence in my essays or reports. Drudgery for certain.
So for me, writing on computers was a blessing. I bought a little dedicated word processor gadget, a sort of electronic typewriter, then eventually bought my first PC way back in the mid 80s. Today I've got a new HP laptop and always write directly onto it, no manual writing ever. Everything goes to the laptop and is saved. I rewrite and save those rewrites and also save the older stuff -- I may change my mind -- and then for the complete work, after painstaking proofreading and editing, my Laserjet wakes up from hibernation and out comes pages of crisp and clean copy, far better than any typewriter could ever wish.
I laughed a couple years ago, one of my sons phoned me for help on installing some software on his desktop. I gave him the proper instructions, he laughed with me, said "Hey, this is the wrong way around -- you're supposed to be asking me for help, right?" and later as the installation was running fine, he said "You're doing this off the top of your head, right? You're not looking at anything, just from memory?" which was right.
But in my career I'd been a product manager for two or three different engineering design products and had maybe 400 clients worldwide and a staff of 20 or so, programmers and support people, to work on my team. And I wrote a 2000 page engineering manual for the software product, too. So I'm very computer and science/engineering literate as well as fairly well along in English literature, history, etc. Suffice it to say that computers are a blessing, not a curse to me. No manuscript notebooks, everything goes straight from the brain into the laptop.
In my private detective novels, my PI is fairly adept with computers too, and he laughs at the old stereotype private eye, fists and pint of booze in his hip pocket. He says (and it's true) that any private investigator these days learns technology or starves -- they all are internet-smart and use database searches all the time, work w. their smartphones while out of the office, all the same modern trappings and suits of woe (to quote Hamlet) that any modern business must have.
So hey, if I at age 73 can do it, anybody can.
My fears? I wouldn't say that I have any real "fears" in my life, literary or otherwise. I've been though enough real stuff that writing creates no fears at all.
But anxiety? Sure. My "fear" if you wish to categorize it thusly, is that my submissions won't get picked up by the editor or publisher. And believe me, these are genuine areas of concern for any writer who's trying to make it these days. My short stories, novels, articles, essays, book reviews, etc? All these go out to the marketplace and I'm on constant tenterhooks (not "tenderhooks" as I've seen written, ha ha) about selling my stuff.
And with good reason. I submit a short story to seeming endless venues and keep getting polite TBNTs (thanks but no thanks) and it's necessary for me to screw my courage to the sticking place (taking Lady Macbeth's advice) and keep trying and trying and...
For me, self promotion is selling my stories or articles. They are my own self-promotion and nothing adjunct that I say to the editor or publisher will help place the material -- it stands on its own, and if the story or article isn't good enough, nothing I say would help anyway. So aside from writing a decent and literate inquiry or synopsis or query letter, self promotion is valueless compared with the actual writing itself.
Right now my new novel is being evaluated by a very well regarded mid-level mystery publisher and I'm awaiting news. That's "fear" as I might define it for my own purposes.
And you're right -- fear of rejection is tantamount to any writer. What we all must do is get over it and keep plugging away and also, keep improving our writing.
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- moderntimes
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But pursuing publication is what writers do, and therefore we must inure ourselves to getting those rejections, and not take them personally nor immediate criticism of our writing. If, however, a rejection contains a critique, examine the writing and see whether it has the flaws mentioned. Learn to be rough with yourself when doing so.
Early this year, after finishing my newest novel -- at least I THOUGHT I'd finished it -- I received a very thorough critique from a respected editor along with, or course. the TBNT. The editor said that my novel had far too much backstory, and that it distracted the pacing. I examined my book with fresh eyes and realized that the editor was correct. So I put the book through a rewrite and now it's far better than previous, and I'm enthusiastic about the new publisher who's reviewing my book now for purchase/contract and publishing.
Learn to accept rejection and keep plugging away.
As for writer's block, my newswriting experience cured me forever of that -- working on deadline does that for you. But I do occasionally get stuck on a certain plot sequence and I'm pondering what next to do in that chapter, whether the sequence of events rings true, the dialogue is credible, and so on.
Here's how I deal with such momentary halts: I skip ahead brother, taking advice from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Let's say that there's a dialogue in chapter 12 that I'm temporarily stuck on. Instead of worrying about it and getting myself mired in writer's block, I just go to a new chapter and start that -- maybe it's an action sequence or romantic interlude or whatever, and I label it chapter 20, maybe arbitrarily. Thing is, I already have a reasonable idea of the whole story arc of the novel, so I already know that there's going to be a fight or romance later. I write on the new chapter 20 and 21 and maybe 22, then soon, I've got the "fix" in mind for that temporarily abandoned chapter 12, and I go back and finish it.
In other words, if you're temporarily blocked, write something else! Do NOT just stop all your writing. It's essential that you keep writing, even if you switch topics for a while. This ensures that you keep honing your craft and that you also don't lose the moment.
Hope this helps.
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With regard to your latest fear I would opine the same statute I reserve for my own writing: write for yourself. The Bard once said, This above all, to thine own self be true, and it must follow as night the day, thou cans't not then be false to any man. Though Polonius is generally categorized as a fool, Shakespeare gave him some pretty good lines. Perhaps we should all be so foolish.
If you compromise your work for the sole intention of marketing your writing you may make some money, but the benefits of money are tinseled and fleeting. If you write following in the footsteps of your own muse, on the path of your own heart and conviction's choosing you will gather followers who are capable of penetrating the saccharine and mercenary drivel so often passed off as "literature" today. Though they may be less in number I would prefer such an audience of readers whose hearts and minds I can touch with a thought, a phrase, a word I have penned which will remain with them, that will impact upon their worldview, that they will reprise and pass on to others. It is a form of immortality that enters into confluence with all the written honesty found in true literature. To thine own self be true.
― Steven Wright
- moderntimes
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I've read quite a few "boutique" books that were essentially masturbatory -- a vain and fatigued effort to put forth an idea, and usually with a general lack of English grammar and punctuation. Not to mention vapid content.
How will you let your readers revel in your wordcraft if the book isn't published? I mean, I suppose you could create a PDF file and post a link in Facebook, but otherwise, how will you have an audience at all, unless your stories or novels are sold for the readers to enjoy?
There is plenty of drivel, as you correctly say, but I review books and read about 2 per month, and most I receive for review are quite good. Only a few are mindless and execrable. Yes, publishing professionally does make money, both for the publisher and the writer. But I surely don't write for publication for the money -- I'd have starved long ago were that to be the case -- I'd estimate that other than my newswriting and focusing only on my fiction and articles, my total income from all might top out at $20k, probably less.
That being said, true literature exists in both private and publicly published material. I write for professional sale because I can, and my novels and short stories do get sold, as well as my articles. Not a lot of dough, but that's not the issue for me -- it's to see my byline in a magazine article or my name on the spine of a book in the local store. A great feeling.
- Cee-Jay Aurinko
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Uh... since the last millenium?Leon Durham wrote:My greatest writing fear is not finishing my first book. This is the year I'm going to finish it. Do you know since when I've been saying this?
(Just kidding!)
- Cee-Jay Aurinko
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Sure feels like it.
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- moderntimes
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Keep to a schedule if possible, promise to write at least 2 pages a day or some similar goal.Leon Durham wrote:My greatest writing fear is not finishing my first book. This is the year I'm going to finish it. Do you know since when I've been saying this?
The famous mystery writer Robert B. Parker said that his goal was to write 5 pages a day -- 5 good and correct pages. Maybe not 5 pages but maybe 2 or something.
- Cee-Jay Aurinko
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Thanks. I try to keep to my daily goal, but there's a lot of distractions during the day keeping me from doing this. Sometimes I work at night because of how quite everything thing is. But in no way am I a night owl. I work according to words though, and not in pages. I try to drop at least 500 words a day, and whenever I can, or "get lucky", I go for that 1,000. I'm at 6, 250 words now , a long way from 80, 000, but like I said, this is the year.
-- 28 Jun 2015, 09:41 --
* zeldas lullaby
Thanks, I hear you. The problem is me. I've had a bad case of deleting-works-in-progress over the past few years. Well, I'm "cured" now. Or at least I think I am. No more deleting. I should probably break that delete button off of my laptop, but what good will that do? There's still right-clicking.