Unfortunate autocorrects

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ALynnPowers
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Unfortunate autocorrects

Post by ALynnPowers »

Recently, I have begun using my cheap android tablet to jot down a few paragraphs of my current WIP here and there while I am out during the day. I had a small USB keyboard to go with it, but a few weeks ago I spilled tea all over it and now the entire bottom row between the "c" and the "?" keys don't work. Since then, I've had no choice but to use the touch screen and endure the torture of autofinish and what I have begun to refer to as "unfortunate autocorrects of the day."

Some examples:
"...college students..." was changed to the highly inappropriate "...colored students..."
"...break the silence..." became "bream the silken" (because that makes so much more sense, right?)
"... quite frank..." somehow turned into "...whip Frank..." which had a completely different meaning that what I was going for.

And then today, my character asked another character, "Are you jealous?"
But instead it came out as, "Are you Jesus?"
The answer was no, on both accounts, in case you were curious.

Please share some of your unfortunate autocorrects or mistakes you have come across in your own writing!
Please tell me I'm not alone in this! 8)
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Post by Gravy »

Autocorrect is at it again!
I always turn my predictive text off so as not to have those.
That does not however prevent typos.
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Post by ALynnPowers »

My typos would be too great if I didn't have it on! Most of the time, I can type the first couple of letters, then choose the word I want from a list. It saves me a ton of time. My fingers are too fat for the keys otherwise.
I didn't have any unfortunate ones today. Just a bunch of jibberish a few times when even the computer couldn't figure out what I was trying to write.

-- 11 Sep 2014, 22:00 --

Today's follow-up:
A character with a minor injury claimed that she would "feel better tomorrow" but it came out as "I'll feel Brett tomorrow."
I don't know who Brett is, but he'd better watch out tomorrow!
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Post by neropanda »

Ohmygosh those are great. You could totally write a book too that's basically a collection of all the unfortunate autocorrect incidents.

The other day a friend of mine went out to buy some food for a business presentation we had to do next period. At the time that she texted me, I was talking to a group of people about food. Her text read "I got tomboys."

I was kind of confused. Were "tomboys" some sort of slang term for a new type/old type of food? I mean, I'm not exactly up-to-date with lots of slang either so <.< I asked the group of people I was with what tomboys were. Someone started to explain to me the legit definition of tomboy, when I cut them off and said "no, the food." Well this stumped everyone. There was a group of about eight of us and we were all trying to figure out what tomboys could possibly be. We got nothing.

Later we found out that she had meant to say "timbits." <.<
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Post by ameliadefield »

I was writing instructions for employees and unfortunely wrote lick instead of click. Such as Lick the Sign In Button. It was horrifically funny.
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Post by rssllue »

Autocorrect really stinks!
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Post by LivreAmour217 »

Ah, the cursed autocorrect! I have had too many encounters with this scourge/blessing, from writing to sending text messages. Unfortunately, none of mine have been funny, just highly annoying. I especially hate it when the confounded device wants to "correct" the names of my friends and family!
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Post by rssllue »

But sometimes I do learn new words from it. So I guess that is something good. :?
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Post by ALynnPowers »

Oh yeah, names are always an issue. Especially when I try to write Japanese names... those always get changed to something weird.

Like Haruka is always Hurrah or something. Thanks a lot, AC, you loser.
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Post by RobC »

The grammar function on Word is a nuisance. I turn it off now. If I followed its advice, the text would cease to make coherent sense.
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Post by ALynnPowers »

ALynnPowers wrote: "...college students..." was changed to the highly inappropriate "...colored students..."
"...break the silence..." became "bream the silken" (because that makes so much more sense, right?)
"... quite frank..." somehow turned into "...whip Frank..." which had a completely different meaning that what I was going for.

And then today, my character asked another character, "Are you jealous?"
But instead it came out as, "Are you Jesus?"
The answer was no, on both accounts, in case you were curious.
I had forgotten all about these! This is awesome!

Are you Jesus?
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Post by moderntimes »

ALynn, that's hilarious!

I remember years ago when I was working for a newspaper, they'd just transitioned from manual typewriters to computer terminals, and the autocorrect system was full of bugs, hyphenating words like "cat" and other happy idiocies.

When I set up my new laptop last September and installed MS-Office, first thing I did was to turn off ALL autocorrect features! After I finish something I'll let it do a spell check, mostly to catch typos, but all that post-completion checking is voluntary.

The best spellchecker is between your ears.
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Post by ALynnPowers »

I would just like to remind @PashaRu of the brilliant autocorrect known as the "Harvard pjs"
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Post by MsMartha »

This has been entertaining, and I appreciate it when someone can write about annoying things in an entertaining way ;-). I'm a little newer than a lot of folks to having a smartphone, and it seems to really battle with autocorrects when I'm texting. I'm assuming there's a way to I'll be able to figure out how to stop using it...the autocorrects, not the texting!
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Post by Jyak »

My auto-corrects always seem to be mainly sexual as I could probably put together an erotic novel with my expansive collection.
Here are a few:
Immature -> I'm mating
Victoria (name) -> Victoria's Secret
Gulp -> G-spot
Meet me -> Meme me
Slitting -> Slutting
Enjoy the idea of a short story with these words replaced.
Let me know your worst auto-correct fails. Thanks! XD
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