Does your family blow off your writing?

Discuss writing, including writing tips & tricks, writing philosophy, writer's block, etc. If you have grammar questions, marketing questions, or if you want feedback on a poem or short story you wrote, please use the corresponding forum below.
Featured Topic: How to Get Your Book Published
Forum rules
If you have spelling or grammar questions, please post them in the International Grammar section.

If you want feedback for poetry or short stories you have written, please post the poem or short story in either the Creative Original Works: Short Stories section or the Creative Original Works: Poetry section.

If you have a book that you want reviewed, click here to submit your book for review.
Post Reply
User avatar
MonkeyToothpaste
Posts: 1
Joined: 29 Apr 2015, 21:33
Bookshelf Size: 0

Re: Does your family blow off your writing?

Post by MonkeyToothpaste » 29 Apr 2015, 21:56

I would say that my mother honestly enjoys my writing and short stories. Usually, she presses me about finishing them because she wants to know whats going to happen next. My husband on the other hand, is always up for sharing his loving criticism.

User avatar
desi330
Posts: 6
Joined: 19 May 2015, 16:40
Currently Reading: The Moth Presents All these Wonders
Bookshelf Size: 2

Post by desi330 » 19 May 2015, 16:51

I dont share it

-- 19 May 2015, 16:51 --

I dont share it

User avatar
CloudedRune
Posts: 205
Joined: 14 Jul 2014, 12:10
Currently Reading: Paper Towns
Bookshelf Size: 37
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-cloudedrune.html
Latest Review: "Why is the moon following us?" by María Escobedo Cubas

Post by CloudedRune » 25 May 2015, 05:18

I don't share my writing with my family any more, though I used to a little when I was younger. It feels like my father is still convinced that I'm suddenly going to drop everything else I do and pursue a career in science while my mother shows some vague interest out of politeness occasionally if I mention it, but nothing else.
Latest Review: "Why is the moon following us?" by María Escobedo Cubas

Thesaurus Rex
Posts: 113
Joined: 12 Apr 2015, 07:30
Bookshelf Size: 12
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-thesaurus-rex.html

Post by Thesaurus Rex » 10 Jun 2015, 09:12

My family has been very supportive ever since the first of my three books was published. Before that, they didn't think it was anything to get excited about, but once they saw my name in print they suddenly changed their minds. Imagine that!

User avatar
Eyre-thee-well
Posts: 101
Joined: 21 Jun 2015, 15:24
Favorite Author: Kate Morton
Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... 2881">Jane Eyre</a>
Currently Reading: Far From The Madding Crowd
Bookshelf Size: 132
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-eyre-thee-well.html
Reading Device: B00IKPYKWG
fav_author_id: 4893

Post by Eyre-thee-well » 24 Jun 2015, 10:48

My family is also very supportive, and they understand that I haven't committed all the time I should to the craft but are sure they are going to see me in print someday. They have more confidence in me than I do in myself. But it is amazing to have such a fan club when all I have done is written some devotionals on a blog. Well, they have read samples of some of my other stuff in early stages, when it really isn't that good, so maybe they are clueless. Ha, ha!
“I will keep the law given by God; sanctioned by man. I will hold to the principles received by me when I was sane, and not mad—as I am now."
― Charlotte Brontë,Jane Eyre

User avatar
skcasta+
Posts: 13
Joined: 02 Jul 2015, 14:46
Favorite Author: Victor Hugo
Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... =2926">All the Light We Cannot See</a>
Currently Reading: The Red Queen
Bookshelf Size: 6
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-skcasta.html
fav_author_id: 3006

Post by skcasta+ » 18 Jul 2015, 11:02

My husband is somewhat supportive. He does tell people that I wrote a book. I self published it 5 months ago. He has never read it, but he likes my story, even though he only knows what I told him. He knows a few characters and what it's basically about. He may or may not read it in the future, but he is not a person who likes to read anything. I gave some books to other family and friends, about 12 books so far. Two friends gave me a good review and told me they thought it was very good. One friend said she cried and cared about my characters and the theme, and I know she's honest. The others haven't even mentioned anything since I gave them a book. I don't know if they read it or not. That hurts, especially since they're people close to me. I would at least offer a small opinion to them if they wrote a book. Every story has some thing that could be discussed even if it's simply the writing style or voice etc. If they didn't like the story or other aspects, they could comment on something! What about the fact that I WROTE A BOOK! Many people do not enjoy reading at all. I've had a few reviews from people I don't know such as book bloggers. I wrote that I forgot to include something she seemed to thing I should have included. That was all she said. If it's fiction, I have the right to include what I want. Right? Guess you can tell I am upset about the silence from those who are important to me. So I stopped hoping for an opinion from them. I never talked that much about my writing anyway.

User avatar
Scott
Site Admin
Posts: 3163
Joined: 31 Jul 2006, 23:00
2018 Reading Goal: 52
2017 Reading Goal: 36
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 5
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 25
Favorite Author: Voltairine de Cleyre
Currently Reading: The Woman in the Window
Bookshelf Size: 229
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-scott.html
Reading Device: B00L89V1AA
Publishing Contest Votes: 960
fav_author_id: 2660

Post by Scott » 20 Jul 2015, 09:26

When I was a teenager, I hated school. My parents didn't like that. They insisted I would "flip burgers" for the rest of my life if I didn't pass my classes and go to college.

I had already made websites at that time, which is a lot more of an achievement back then since this was before smartphones, before Facebook, before MySpace even. But one time I suggested I could possibly make a living writing if I wanted, and they basically laughed at me. I remember the conversation so vividly still. I understood the hidden motivation; they were applying this common solid cookie-cutter dogma that good parenting is making your kids do well in school, go to the best college they can, and get a job hopefully at slightly or moderately above the median income. And that is probably great advice in most cases. But they weren't parenting one hundred thousand kids, where it makes sense to apply to all of those kids a general rule that generally applies. To this day, I don't even care if they were dead-right that the idea was laughable of me personally being more interested in writing than school--or follow anything instead of school considering I hated school and would never have continued it despite their desperate hopes otherwise. I don't care if they were right that I am not an exception to that cookie-cutter advice. All I took from that experience--and their general attitude about my hatred for school and my actual passions--was that they thought I wasn't exceptional.

I think I would have been a lot more interested in writing, a lot more willing to invest in it, throughout the rest of my life, had it not been for that day.

But most readers like to write, and most writers like to read. I love to read, and I've read a lot books since then. One of the many things I tried since then was making a website about books since I like books. The website grew into something I think is really cool and makes me proud.

So I may have never become J.K. Rowling, but I can say if I didn't--wrong or right--believe in my exceptionalism despite lack of family support, if I forced myself to suffer through the school I hated, this website wouldn't be here, and we wouldn't be having this conversation. If I had somehow forced myself through 10 years of school to become a lawyer or a dentist or whatever my family thought my limits were in their own dreams, I cannot imagine how miserable I would be. I wouldn't be a happy dentist; I can tell you that.

So, writers, my advice is to believe in yourself regardless of what your family thinks. If you don't believe in yourself so much that others think you are crazy, then you don't believe in yourself enough.

^ I wrote that whole post. Take that, past.
"That virtue we appreciate is as much ours as another's. We see so much only as we possess." - Henry David Thoreau

"Non ignara mali miseris succurrere disco." Virgil, The Aeneid

zeldas_lullaby
Posts: 5985
Joined: 27 Mar 2013, 20:01
Favorite Author: ---------
Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... =3452">The Thorn Birds</a>
Currently Reading: The Last Stonestepper
Bookshelf Size: 79

Post by zeldas_lullaby » 20 Jul 2015, 16:08

I think you're exceptional, Scott. :mrgreen:

User avatar
khudecek
Posts: 502
Joined: 18 Nov 2014, 15:45
Favorite Author: Depends on Genre
Favorite Book: The Angel and the Outlaw
Bookshelf Size: 12
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-khudecek.html
Latest Review: "See Bride Run!" by Charlotte Hughes

Post by khudecek » 21 Jul 2015, 11:31

I have to weigh in on this, as painful as it is.

My husband, God bless him, thought I wasted time at my computer. I don't know how many times he told me that. He told me I needed to market my work (only not that nicely). It would hurt my feelings, of course and I'd lay off for a few days and then get back on it with a bad attitude toward him.

After winning a spot in Holding Fire, and after he made the comment about there being only 10 entries and insinuating that I won by default, I think he knew I was serious about this. He hasn't said anything since. Don't get me wrong; he's a great guy but I don't think he understands that part of me. He makes cameos in all of my work, including the story for Holding Fire.

But it isn't just him. He's just the one who is closest to me now. While I was in junior high and high school, I was writing all of these short stories for my friends and they seemed to like them and that gave me a boost in my confidence. But as the family goes, my younger brother used to steal whatever it was I was working on, lock himself in the bathroom and start yelling through the door what I'd written, laughing the whole time. That was demoralizing. I'd beg my mom to make him stop and her response was, "Ignore him and he'll stop". But me, being 16 or 17 years old, wasn't going to have that and I'd beg him to stop and pound on the door, yelling at him to shut up. He found that even more amusing and would read louder and laugh even more.

That traumatized me to the point where I never let anybody read anything I wrote. To this day, I'm terrified to submit anything anywhere because it's obvious that I don't know what I'm doing. I'm opening myself up for more ridicule. I know I can't write to please everyone and I know that not everyone is going to like what I write. It goes with the territory. But at least I'm sort of putting myself out there now, despite it all.

I still don't want my family reading what I write and I don't have to worry about it. The only person in my family who bought a copy of Holding Fire is my older brother, who really is my friend and advocate. As a matter of fact, when I convert my text to voice so I can listen to the story, I do it with headphones so nobody can hear it, either.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
.

~~
"The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost
Latest Review: "See Bride Run!" by Charlotte Hughes

zeldas_lullaby
Posts: 5985
Joined: 27 Mar 2013, 20:01
Favorite Author: ---------
Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... =3452">The Thorn Birds</a>
Currently Reading: The Last Stonestepper
Bookshelf Size: 79

Post by zeldas_lullaby » 21 Jul 2015, 15:25

Wow. My mom was the same way as your husband when I won an award for my book. She said it was probably a "vanity" award, given to everyone who entered. However, she loves my writing. She's just incredibly cynical and "negative," (we're not supposed to call her that--she doesn't like being called negative). I was/am proud of that award regardless, so much so that it's listed on my product page and my author's web site.

Your short story "Ghostwriter" was really freakin' good. It was the best edited of the bunch, it was compelling in an edge-of-your-seat kind of way, it was gorgeously vindictive, and it had a great conclusion. And your bratty brother wasn't ridiculing your writing--he was being a <bleep> <bleep> <bleeping> <bleep>, darn it. People who are <bleep> <bleep> <bleeping> <bleeps> aren't qualified to offer up ridicule.

User avatar
khudecek
Posts: 502
Joined: 18 Nov 2014, 15:45
Favorite Author: Depends on Genre
Favorite Book: The Angel and the Outlaw
Bookshelf Size: 12
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-khudecek.html
Latest Review: "See Bride Run!" by Charlotte Hughes

Post by khudecek » 21 Jul 2015, 16:23

zeldas_lullaby wrote: Your short story "Ghostwriter" was really freakin' good. It was the best edited of the bunch, it was compelling in an edge-of-your-seat kind of way, it was gorgeously vindictive, and it had a great conclusion. And your bratty brother wasn't ridiculing your writing--he was being a <bleep> <bleep> <bleeping> <bleep>, darn it. People who are <bleep> <bleep> <bleeping> <bleeps> aren't qualified to offer up ridicule.
LOL! You rock my world! :lol:

And thank you for the kind words about Ghostwriter.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
.

~~
"The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost
Latest Review: "See Bride Run!" by Charlotte Hughes

zeldas_lullaby
Posts: 5985
Joined: 27 Mar 2013, 20:01
Favorite Author: ---------
Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... =3452">The Thorn Birds</a>
Currently Reading: The Last Stonestepper
Bookshelf Size: 79

Post by zeldas_lullaby » 21 Jul 2015, 16:29

You're welcome!! :-)

Do you have any other writings in the mix these days?

User avatar
khudecek
Posts: 502
Joined: 18 Nov 2014, 15:45
Favorite Author: Depends on Genre
Favorite Book: The Angel and the Outlaw
Bookshelf Size: 12
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-khudecek.html
Latest Review: "See Bride Run!" by Charlotte Hughes

Post by khudecek » 21 Jul 2015, 17:26

zeldas_lullaby wrote:You're welcome!! :-)

Do you have any other writings in the mix these days?
Actually, I do. I have a novel at the editor's and hope to get it back soon.

What are you working on?
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
.

~~
"The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost
Latest Review: "See Bride Run!" by Charlotte Hughes

zeldas_lullaby
Posts: 5985
Joined: 27 Mar 2013, 20:01
Favorite Author: ---------
Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... =3452">The Thorn Birds</a>
Currently Reading: The Last Stonestepper
Bookshelf Size: 79

Post by zeldas_lullaby » 21 Jul 2015, 17:35

Oh, great! If you don't mind my asking, do you have exciting plans for your novel?

I'm still plugging away at my series! I'm working on volumes 7 and 8 currently. (I wrote 7 in its entirety and then decided I hated it. I was 71% into writing 8 when I came to that realization, so I backtracked and started 7 from the beginning, moving 8 to the back burner.)

User avatar
bookowlie
Special Discussion Leader
Posts: 7739
Joined: 25 Oct 2014, 09:52
2017 Reading Goal: 52
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 50
Favorite Book: The Lost Continent
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 322
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bookowlie.html
Latest Review: Norman by Michelle Olson

Post by bookowlie » 21 Jul 2015, 17:56

Scott wrote:When I was a teenager, I hated school. My parents didn't like that. They insisted I would "flip burgers" for the rest of my life if I didn't pass my classes and go to college.

I had already made websites at that time, which is a lot more of an achievement back then since this was before smartphones, before Facebook, before MySpace even. But one time I suggested I could possibly make a living writing if I wanted, and they basically laughed at me. I remember the conversation so vividly still. I understood the hidden motivation; they were applying this common solid cookie-cutter dogma that good parenting is making your kids do well in school, go to the best college they can, and get a job hopefully at slightly or moderately above the median income. And that is probably great advice in most cases. But they weren't parenting one hundred thousand kids, where it makes sense to apply to all of those kids a general rule that generally applies. To this day, I don't even care if they were dead-right that the idea was laughable of me personally being more interested in writing than school--or follow anything instead of school considering I hated school and would never have continued it despite their desperate hopes otherwise. I don't care if they were right that I am not an exception to that cookie-cutter advice. All I took from that experience--and their general attitude about my hatred for school and my actual passions--was that they thought I wasn't exceptional.

I think I would have been a lot more interested in writing, a lot more willing to invest in it, throughout the rest of my life, had it not been for that day.

But most readers like to write, and most writers like to read. I love to read, and I've read a lot books since then. One of the many things I tried since then was making a website about books since I like books. The website grew into something I think is really cool and makes me proud.

So I may have never become J.K. Rowling, but I can say if I didn't--wrong or right--believe in my exceptionalism despite lack of family support, if I forced myself to suffer through the school I hated, this website wouldn't be here, and we wouldn't be having this conversation. If I had somehow forced myself through 10 years of school to become a lawyer or a dentist or whatever my family thought my limits were in their own dreams, I cannot imagine how miserable I would be. I wouldn't be a happy dentist; I can tell you that.

So, writers, my advice is to believe in yourself regardless of what your family thinks. If you don't believe in yourself so much that others think you are crazy, then you don't believe in yourself enough.

^ I wrote that whole post. Take that, past.
Wow, what an interesting post. I think you are exceptional! :)

I am glad you didn't decide to become a dentist. I hate going to the dentist and don't even like saying the word. :roll:
"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship" - Louisa May Alcott

Post Reply

Return to “Writing Discussion”