How Big of an Age Gap is Too Big of an Age Gap?

[Brett Linette]

When reading a romance novel, while I prefer the characters to be in the same age range, as long as both parties are of age, I think an age gap between the two can add diversity to the relationship. I'm not opposed to an age gap, even if one of them is old enough to be the other's parent, but if their old enough to be the other's grandparent, that's where I draw the line, as I start to question what they could possibly have in common.

What do you guys think? How big of an age gap is too big of an age gap?

[Radwa Abou Shousha]

First, I agree with your view; Both parties have to be of age. I don’t mind a big age gap but as you said not someone old enough to be a grandparent. I would just say that the people involved shouldn’t be at different extremes of age.

[Brett Linette]

First, I agree with your view; Both parties have to be of age. I don’t mind a big age gap but as you said not someone old enough to be a grandparent. I would just say that the people involved shouldn’t be at different extremes of age.

With age comes wisdom, and when one person is old enough to easily outsmart the other, that's when I find it hard to read, but if the older person shares their wisdom and the young person their new age knowledge, it becomes a relationship as meaningful as any other, and I'm all for it.

[Kanika Tandon]

I would say..10 years age gap is enough for me. 12 is my limit. I dont like reading books with bigger age gaps anyways.

[Brett Linette]

I would say..10 years age gap is enough for me. 12 is my limit. I dont like reading books with bigger age gaps anyways.

I, too, prefer when the age gap is kept to a minimum.

[Bridgette C 2]

I don't mind age gap, really. But if the other is older like a grandparent, that's when it's not okay for me. Age gap ranging from 4 to 10 years can be acceptable but not more than that. I like it when there's age gap because it's hotter.

[Brett Linette]

I don't mind age gap, really. But if the other is older like a grandparent, that's when it's not okay for me. Age gap ranging from 4 to 10 years can be acceptable but not more than that. I like it when there's age gap because it's hotter.

I agree that an age gap can be appealing as long as it's not too wide of an age gap; there's a difference between dating someone older and dating someone old.

[Charlienmegan Wehner]

I definitely think around ten years or so works. I read a novel where it was a 20 year age gap and the male was a caretaker of the female until she got older and then attraction, etc. Was weird!!

[Faatimah Noormahomed]

I definitely don't mind age gaps in romance novels. I think it's just all about how the characters' respective maturity levels work together. If they have the same sort of mindset and goals in life, and the prospect of a relationship between them seems realistic to the reader, then I think it's fine. I definitely agree with you about drawing the line when the one is old enough to be the other's grandparent though. I've read some weird romances where the age gap between the main characters was just too big and their relationship just didn't seem plausible at all... so I guess it just depends on how it's written.

[Loniya Chabili Mubanga]

Both have to be consenting adults, starting at age 20(that's my take). The age gap thing isn't big of an issue for me if they're less than 8 years apart. Anything more than that is strange and makes me question what issues both parties have that are expressing themselves in form of their relationship and/or preferred partner. Don't know if this makes sense.

[Mary Adkins 1]

It depends on a few things! Age is relative. An 18-year-old dating a 28-year-old seems icky, but a 30-year-old dating a 40-year-old seems a lot more reasonable. It also depends on the genre. If it's a normal, humans on earth romance, then age might matter. If it's high fantasy romance, then the 22-year-old dating the 500-year-old being doesn't seem that odd, because it's not real. I did see one TikToker joking that those huge fantasy age gaps are because that's when women think that men will finally have reached the emotional maturity they're looking for

[Reader_noc]

Personally, I don't have a problem with age gap especially when the guy is older. It all depends on he love, attraction and understanding between the couple.

[Ashna Tibrewal]

I cant read with an age gap of more than 5 years or a max of 7. It becomes too difficult to imagine after that.

[Kendal Low]

For me its hard to fully enjoy a book when there's a character who is around 20/21 dating a character who is in their 30's or older. I just struggle to see what someone in their 30's could possibly want with someone so young. However, when they're both above 30 or so I don't necessarily have a problem with any age gap really.

[Katherine Powell-Polkey]

I definitely agree that everyone involved has to be a consenting adult, but I can't say that I have a gap limit. For me, it really depends on the story and the characters.