2 out of 4 stars
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So What If Another Man Screws Your Wife is a book aimed at opening people's minds with regards to their sexuality. Social norms have put severe boundaries on what is right and wrong, and what is culturally acceptable. When it comes to marriage, promiscuity, flirting and jealousy, the collective belief on how to behave is very black and white. Victor Meenach implores the reader to jump out of their societal box, and experiment with their raw animal instincts.
Meenach believes that people are held back by what society and religion consider sexual transgressions. His philosophy centres around the idea of ‘monogamous promiscuity.’ Jealousy and guilt are the cause of all relationships ending, and sexual freedom needs to be achieved in relationships in order for them to be most fulfilling. His theory is that a relationship filled with love can only become stronger if jealousy and guilt are alleviated. The way to do that is to include your partner in all of your sexual escapades… outside your relationship. The idea is that if you and your partner are truly in love, you will understand each other’s animal urges to be promiscuous. You will accept this because your love is unwavering.
The title of this book grabbed my attention straight away. I enjoy a good debate, especially over controversial topics. I wanted to be challenged by the thoughts and notions of the author. I don’t believe I was. There were no eye-opening revelations about how to go about changing your life, just that you should. The chapters, which were all only about one or two pages long, were repetitive. The same concepts were echoed from page to page, almost trying to force the words into the readers head with no backup.
The book is written in a stream-of-consciousness format. I don’t mind this way of writing, but because of the lack of depth, it felt a bit childish. I also think that editing shouldn’t go out of the window because your writing style is whimsical. I couldn’t tell if errors were made intentionally, or if they were real errors. It became quite distracting. Another thing I wasn’t too ecstatic about was at the mention of research. I find it lazy to say, “Some research suggests…” Which research? Who said it? Is it accurate? In another chapter, when talking about medical and scientific research, the author states, “You will have to Google the expert details on your own.” I think basing strong points on flimsy investigation is careless.
Two of the chapters are taken up by Meenach’s personal poems that relate to the subject matter. I thought they were a nice way of breaking up the author’s views, until I got to the last quarter of the book. I then realised that the final chapters consisted of a collection of his poetry. Now, I don’t pull any punches when I say that I am dense when it comes to poetry. I am by no means learned, and have no idea what to look for that makes poetry good or bad. So, I unfortunately can’t comment on his poetry compilation. I would be doing the author a great disservice by saying the things I truly feel, such as, “I liked that they rhymed.” Or, “they tell a great story.” But without any forewarning, I had no idea that almost 30% of this book was poetry. I think a heads-up to the reader is in order.
As a short novel (114 pages), I hoped to get some real insight into the author's philosophies. The problem is that Meenach’s notions are extremely stereotypical. He places feelings and real-life circumstances into boxes that are unmovable. Not every relationship is the same. Not every divorce is forced by cheating. People are capricious, and to suggest that one way of living is right for everyone, is wrong. I am a bit torn with a rating for this one. On the one hand, it was a light-hearted and fun read. On the other hand, it promised more than that. It promised enlightenment and learning, and honestly, I didn’t learn a thing. I therefore give this book 2 out of 4 stars. I didn’t go all the way down to one star because I felt that I was unable to give a thorough review of the poetry section of the book. I enjoyed it, but can’t give any accurate criticisms at all.
I would recommend this book to couples seeking a controversial shift in their relationship to ‘spice things up.’ I would not recommend this book to anyone who is against cheating, promiscuity and extra-marital affairs. All in all, I think this line sums it up rather well: “Just do it and proceed to mutual joy and trust without jealousy at all.”
So what if another man screws your wife
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