Official Review: Daughters Of Dementia by Leslie Birkland

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Official Review: Daughters Of Dementia by Leslie Birkland

Post by desantismt_17 »

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Daughters Of Dementia" by Leslie Birkland.]
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4 out of 4 stars
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I’ll never forget my first experience with Alzheimer’s and Dementia. I was fourteen, volunteering after school at an assisted living facility. One day, my supervisor took me up to the “lockdown” floor. I climbed aboard the elevator, and my supervisor used a key to get us moving. When the doors opened, I was greeted with an identical hallway to those found on the second and third floors. It wasn’t until I followed my supervisor to the communal kitchen where I met two women who repeated the same syllable over and over again that it hit me. These people were not well. I went on to meet other ladies. Some were just forgetful. Some lacked the ability to perform basic daily tasks. By the time I got back on the elevator, fourteen-year-old me was terrified. I never wanted to encounter another person with Alzheimer’s or Dementia again.

Imagine my shock when, a year later, my grandfather was diagnosed with Dementia.

Daughters of Dementia is a tribute to Duane, father of the book’s co-authors, Leslie Birkland and Lindsey Denhof. Through two very different, but also similar, views, these step-sisters describe Duane’s life—from meeting Leslie’s mother through his journey with Dementia. At times both heartbreaking and funny, the authors set out to show those who are embroiled with this disease that they are not alone. Dementia is no one’s fault, and the family caregivers can only do so much.

I found this book easy to read and understand. Both Birkland and Denhof write with clear, simple prose. I felt as if I were sitting around with friends and talking about loved ones who suffer from the terrible memory-stealing disease. For those watching a loved one perish, this book would serve as an invaluable companion.

One of the most important ideas this book communicates is not to keep Dementia a secret. At one point, Duane’s family moves into a new apartment. Soon after, the building manager pulls Leslie aside to say the office has been getting complaints about Duane’s behavior. One of the characteristics of Dementia is the performing of socially odd or unacceptable actions as if they pose no issue. Birkland and Denhof offer examples like getting into someone’s car or staring out windows for hours on end. When the building manager brought such complaints to Leslie, she went against her mother’s wishes and informed the manager of Duane’s Dementia. Once the community was aware, the attitudes of the other residents went from complaining to helping. No one thought less of Duane or his family because of the Dementia. This is such an important idea to make clear. Dementia, like Cancer, is a disease. It just happens to change a person’s personality and steal their memories. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Sickness happens.

Aside from being an emotional tool, this book is also a wealth of resources for Dementia patience and their families. There is information about the disease sprinkled throughout. At the end, there is a list of organizations that provide support for Dementia patience and their caregivers. I was so glad to see the list. When my grandfather was diagnosed, my family was at a loss for so long. Having this list would have helped us, and will no doubt be of great help to others seeking support.

After all this, you may be wondering about my statement earlier that part of this book was funny. My response—of course it is. No, it’s not hilarious or worthy of a comedy routine, but there are little things that are just so sad that they have to also be funny. As Birkland puts it “Because if you don’t laugh, you’ll just be crying all day.” I can’t agree more. Watching my grandfather lose to this disease broke my heart. It wasn’t funny at all, but I had to laugh—had to learn that it wasn’t all terrifying, if I wanted to keep my own sanity.

With no reservations, I rate Daughters of Dementia 4 out of 4 stars. The book is very well-edited with only a few small errors. The wealth of information presented and the emotional support this story lends to anyone dealing with a loved one’s Dementia firmly bring this book above a 3-star rating. I would recommend this book for anyone needing somewhere to turn when this disease feels like too much. I also recommend it to anyone wishing to better understand Dementia. While I believe children should be made aware of the disease, this book may be beyond the comprehension of the very young. Though, it may help parents learn how to broach the topic with their kids. Really, this is an excellent read for just about anyone.

******
Daughters Of Dementia
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You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
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Post by Kemunto lucy »

I like that the book is an easy read and easy to understand. Sounds like a good story. Thanks for the review.
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Post by Alice Heritage »

Thanks for your interesting review. It sounds as if this book provides an honest account of the sisters' personal experiences with a loved one's dementia - I note that you say that someone in the situation would find this book a support. This devastating disease does affect a lot of people.
This post was brought to you by the word "specifically".
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Post by Nmadinachi Egwim »

Hmm, this is like a book that specially found its way to you. You seem to have a personal relationship with the book, and that's a beautiful thing. Books like this should be read by everyone, as mental illness stigma has always been an issue needing to be addressed in many parts of the world.
Nice review!
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Post by Nimat87 »

Sounds like a helpful resource for those caring for patients with dementia, but also an interesting read for anyone. Thanks for the interesting review.
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Post by CommMayo »

I really enjoyed how you started out your review with such a personal story. This sounds like a great tool for helping people understand the many issues surrounding dementia and dementia related illnesses.
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Post by stacie k »

I'm glad you recommend this book as a source of emotional support. I will have to check it out. It's so hard to know how to cope when loved ones suffer from memory loss.
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Post by kandscreeley »

My grandfather had Alzheimer's as well. Most of us are affected by this in some way or other, so I love the thought of this book. I also agree that we shouldn't keep it a secret. People are much more willing to help out and accept indiscretions when there's a reason. Thanks again for this review.
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Post by joshfee77 »

Great review! Sounds like a poignant and informative story about dementia and Alzheimer’s. My grandmother and her sister suffered these conditions and it was heartbreaking to see the deterioration in their cognitive abilities.
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Post by kdawes17 »

I can totally relate to these sisters my aunt has dementina and it hurts me to see her like that . It takes a toll because when you dealing with it by yourself its alot .Then also it takes alot out of you my aunt has her good days and her bad days . I cry to myself because i hate to see her in this stage of mind. Like one of the sisters said if you don't laugh you will be crying til you can't cry no more. I admits its heart breaking this book is very helpful to people who have loves ones that are dealing with dementina. I rate this book a 10.
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Post by fernsmom »

What a great review, of a great book! Although I currently don't need the support that the book goes over, it is nice to know that it is there for me to read. I think I may read it anyway- I would like to see how these daughters dealt with this terrible disease that affects so many people and their families.
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Post by Yoli García »

Without a doubt, this story will let a lot of readers know they are not alone. Thank you for sharing your personal story and the excellent review!
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Post by María Andrea Fernández Sepúlveda »

Imagine my shock when, a year later, my grandfather was diagnosed with Dementia.

Daughters of Dementia is a tribute to Duane, father of the book’s co-authors, Leslie Birkland and Lindsey Denhof

I went through the same thing with my grandmother and I'm glad you chose this book and shared your thoughts with us. We should share it and spread awareness in their memories.
One of the most important ideas this book communicates is not to keep Dementia a secret. At one point, Duane’s family moves into a new apartment. Soon after, the building manager pulls Leslie aside to say the office has been getting complaints about Duane’s behavior. One of the characteristics of Dementia is the performing of socially odd or unacceptable actions as if they pose no issue. Birkland and Denhof offer examples like getting into someone’s car or staring out windows for hours on end. When the building manager brought such complaints to Leslie, she went against her mother’s wishes and informed the manager of Duane’s Dementia. Once the community was aware, the attitudes of the other residents went from complaining to helping. No one thought less of Duane or his family because of the Dementia. This is such an important idea to make clear. Dementia, like Cancer, is a disease. It just happens to change a person’s personality and steal their memories. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Sickness happens.
So true! It's true for most mental illnesses and stigma is still an issue we have to fight to solve, it just makes things harder both for the sufferer and his or her caregivers.
Aside from being an emotional tool, this book is also a wealth of resources for Dementia patience and their families. There is information about the disease sprinkled throughout. At the end, there is a list of organizations that provide support for Dementia patience and their caregivers. I was so glad to see the list. When my grandfather was diagnosed, my family was at a loss for so long. Having this list would have helped us, and will no doubt be of great help to others seeking support.
I'm glad the book provides resources, it can make you feel so lost, as you say...

I loved your review. It's so brave of you to choose a topic you're connected to. I'm so glad you're now able to see the funny part, even if its bittersweet. Your comments are bright and insightful, thank you.
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Post by melissy370 »

I have taking care of several clients who had Alzheimer's or Dementia in the past. The families really do struggle with seeing their loved one forget who they are. I appreciate the authors writing this book and sharing their father's story. Thanks for your review.
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Post by Espie »

It wasn’t funny at all, but I had to laugh—had to learn that it wasn’t all terrifying, if I wanted to keep my own sanity.
Your unique coping mechanism is quite notable. It would be beneficial if accompanied by good intentions and an understanding mind as well. It's also amazing how the community's attitude has changed for the sufferer, although it's more common to encounter stigma than acceptance for the illness even at this present age.

Thank you for your insightful and thoughtful review.
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