4 out of 4 stars
Share This Review
One of the qualities that separate humanity from other life forms is our capacity for storytelling, and specifically, our ability to conceptualize and relate our own stories to one another. Author and therapist Tuya Pearl emphasizes the transformational power of storytelling in her book Tell Me Your Story. More than just a self-help book, this is an introduction to the process of therapy, and an invitation to partake in a deep and profound inner search with the eventual goal of opening new avenues for self-fulfillment and personal freedom.
The author suggests that all of us carry wounds caused by other people, and that it takes a certain level of bravery to engage in the process of uncovering those wounds in a therapeutic setting. She starts by telling her own story, explaining how a childhood spent with her verbally abusive mother eventually lead to a career in psychotherapy, and how she has always been drawn to others' sad stories, considering it her life purpose to bring relief and empathy. The author then explains how shame and poor familial communication has a stunting influence on adult development, and defines the concepts of codependency and emotional manipulation.
Throughout the book, as an illustration to the concepts relayed in each chapter, Pearl has included real case studies of past clients who exhibit one or more of the difficulties she discusses. Additional topics that are covered include neurotic behavior, bereavement, PTSD, and addiction. She emphasizes the shame-based origins of addictive behavior, suggesting that many bad habits, addictions, compulsions, and neuroses are simply avoidance strategies caused by distorted thinking and repressed guilt. In addition to providing specific practices to address these behavioral issues, the author stresses the importance of a spiritual faith practice, and the role of trust in a Higher Power within the process of recovery. Finally, she rounds out the book with a discussion of the act of love in a long-term relationship, and the vital role of gratitude and mindfulness in finding not only happiness, but lasting joy.
One of the best aspects of this book, in addition to its content, is the format and layout. Each chapter is short and manageable, written in impeccable yet simple language, and presents the concepts in a logical order. As each new topic is covered, examples from actual case studies allow the author to discuss patterns of thought and behavior in specific terms and allow the reader to understand the progression of the clients through therapy. We learn what steps each client took to address his or her own life challenges, and how successful the methods were. This also breaks up the theoretical sections of the book and allows the mind to rest and digest the information before moving on to the next topic.
The author's personal touch and willingness to share her own story also made the book relatable and made the process of reading feel more like a conversation between friends. The author admits her own shortcomings, shares her own neuroses and fears, and explains the steps she has also had to take to address some of their manifestations. She also explains to readers exactly what they can expect from a therapeutic relationship, from the first session to the last, greatly demystifying the concept of therapy for those who have never experienced it. For this reason, I would highly recommend it to someone who is considering therapy but is not sure what to expect, or how to best prepare. However, even readers with vast experience with therapy are likely to find this a useful guide to investing in their personal health and relationships. Each page is packed with profound wisdom and helpful suggestions.
The one thing I noticed that may be off-putting to some readers is the author's references to prayer, faith, and belief in God. Though this was not heavy-handed, it is clear throughout the book that the author considers faith a significant aspect of recovery, yet she does not directly address the process of developing a faith. Readers who are not familiar with religious practices, or who consider themselves atheists, may not relate to these sections of the book. Nonetheless, her emphasis is on the empowering nature of a connection to the God of our understanding, and the book is never preachy. Those who do already feel a spiritual connection are likely to appreciate the encouragement. I rate this work 4 out of 4 stars and consider it a thorough and well-thought-out introduction to therapy, and guide to improving our lives - one that is likely to benefit almost any reader.
******
Tell Me Your Story: How Therapy Works to Awaken, Heal, and Set You Free
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
Like bluegreenmarina's review? Post a comment saying so!
