Official Review: This Does Not Leave This House

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Mouricia25
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Official Review: This Does Not Leave This House

Post by Mouricia25 » 12 Apr 2018, 01:21

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "This Does Not Leave This House" by Julie Coons.]
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4 out of 4 stars
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This Does Not Leave This House is the real-life story of Julie Coons. It chronicles portions of her life that are not limited to the physical, verbal and mental abuse endured. While I was quite sympathetic to a lot of her issues, they quickly turned into something else when I read the details.

I am very happy that she was able to come out and write a tell-all about her experiences and in such a way. I appreciate the courage it must have taken to do something like this. While I applaud her on one hand for being able to survive what she did, I am sorry to say that on the other hand, I am very disgruntled with many of the things that happened.

At some point in your life, you have to realize that enough is enough. I was very upset at many points with the author because I felt that a lot of the things that happened to her, was as a direct result of something she failed to do or not do. I don't believe in blaming the victim of any situation, however, I believe if you continuously place yourself in a situation where harm will reach you, you begin to lose the victim status. For example, you got burned by fire and you know it was painful, yet you keep going back. And in your accounts, you go back not because you were forced to, but because you felt obligated to go near the fire, or felt sorry that the fire was all alone.

I hope that everyone who reads this book will take away something positive, and will learn to 'break the cycle'. I am happy that despite the many trying times she had, she was able to come through it. Not many persons would have been able to handle it as gracefully.

I rate this book 4 out of 4 stars because I think this book was well written, however, I could not get over the fact that there was much repetition. While I didn't particularly care for it, it added a certain 'je ne sais pas' to the book and did not detract from the stories being told.

I would definitely recommend this book to persons who are currently, or have previously been abused (in any form). I would also recommend this book to parents and young women because there is much to learn. It is also bookclub worthy because of the quality of discussions that can be had after reading this book.

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This Does Not Leave This House
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stacie k
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Post by stacie k » 13 Apr 2018, 00:42

It’s difficult to live through various forms of abuse, but it’s also difficult to read about it. I think I would also feel frustrated to find that the author kept doing the same things and expecting a different outcome. While I wish the author well, I don’t think I’ll pursue reading this right now. Thanks for sharing your insights.
“The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable.” Proverbs 15:2a

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Post by Mouricia25 » 13 Apr 2018, 00:50

stacie k wrote:
13 Apr 2018, 00:42
It’s difficult to live through various forms of abuse, but it’s also difficult to read about it. I think I would also feel frustrated to find that the author kept doing the same things and expecting a different outcome. While I wish the author well, I don’t think I’ll pursue reading this right now. Thanks for sharing your insights.
Yes it was a bit frustrating and at points I would be screaming internally.. however there were many lessons to be learned. I hope you do get a chance to read it.

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Post by Samanthajayne12 » 13 Apr 2018, 04:42

I feel like this would be an interesting read. The review is intriguing and makes me want to read the book to find out more. I think I would agree with how you felt!

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Post by Mouricia25 » 13 Apr 2018, 05:38

Samanthajayne12 wrote:
13 Apr 2018, 04:42
I feel like this would be an interesting read. The review is intriguing and makes me want to read the book to find out more. I think I would agree with how you felt!
Thank you. I hope you get to read the book.

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Post by kandscreeley » 13 Apr 2018, 07:21

I do know that it's hard to break the cycle of being abused sometimes. There's something mentally that the abuser does that keeps that person coming back. It takes a lot of counseling and therapy and guts sometimes to break out of that. Sounds like quite an intense book. Thanks.
“There is no friend as loyal as a book.”
― Ernest Hemingway

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Post by kfwilson6 » 13 Apr 2018, 07:54

I imagine that the fact the author wrote this book at all is an indication that she wanted the cycle to end (and hopefully did end it). I do believe in the saying "you can't help those who won't help themselves." It is sad to say that some people cannot get out of the cycle of being a victim either because they are weak-minded, don't know how to end it, or don't realize it is abnormal because it may be the only thing they have ever experienced. It's so tragic because sometimes the only person who is even capable of helping you is yourself.

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Post by Chick Lit Cafe » 13 Apr 2018, 13:16

I disagree with this review. I read the book and she did break the cycle of abuse. How is a child supposed to break free from abuse? She was a child. It's almost like the reviewer didn't even read the book. I thought the book was really good. In fact, it was the best memoir that I have read in a long time. I definitely recommend it.

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Post by melissy370 » 13 Apr 2018, 17:07

For some it is hard to break the cycle because they are so entrenched in the behavior. So many battered women go back to their abusive husbands because that is all they know. A breaking point must happen to force them to fight for change. I would be frustrated as well because I grew up in an abusive household and knew I did not want to continue in that pattern. The difference may be of what support system she has or lack thereof.

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Post by crediblereading2 » 13 Apr 2018, 22:13

If someone keeps repeating something and getting the same results, maybe it is not insanity. It could be that the person is hoping earnestly to get a different result.

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Post by bigirimanacelestin » 13 Apr 2018, 23:03

She choose the best way to help herself, by writing what she was endured so long. This may be an advice to anyone who is suffering any kind of abuse, talk your problems to anyone either orally or by writing.
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
― Maya Angelou

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Post by Mouricia25 » 14 Apr 2018, 01:17

Chick Lit Cafe wrote:
13 Apr 2018, 13:16
I disagree with this review. I read the book and she did break the cycle of abuse. How is a child supposed to break free from abuse? She was a child. It's almost like the reviewer didn't even read the book. I thought the book was really good. In fact, it was the best memoir that I have read in a long time. I definitely recommend it.
Obviously you didn't get what I was saying or YOU didn't read the book.. i did admit that she broke the cycle, however she did that was she was way older.. and FYI alot of things happened to her when she was an adult.. unless you think someone in their 20s is a child..

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Post by Mouricia25 » 14 Apr 2018, 01:22

kandscreeley wrote:
13 Apr 2018, 07:21
I do know that it's hard to break the cycle of being abused sometimes. There's something mentally that the abuser does that keeps that person coming back. It takes a lot of counseling and therapy and guts sometimes to break out of that. Sounds like quite an intense book. Thanks.
Yes indeed.. I hope you do get a chance to read it.

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Post by Mouricia25 » 14 Apr 2018, 01:24

kfwilson6 wrote:
13 Apr 2018, 07:54
I imagine that the fact the author wrote this book at all is an indication that she wanted the cycle to end (and hopefully did end it). I do believe in the saying "you can't help those who won't help themselves." It is sad to say that some people cannot get out of the cycle of being a victim either because they are weak-minded, don't know how to end it, or don't realize it is abnormal because it may be the only thing they have ever experienced. It's so tragic because sometimes the only person who is even capable of helping you is yourself.
Indeed it is very tragic. However in her book she gave the impression that later in her life she broke the cycle.

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Post by Mouricia25 » 14 Apr 2018, 01:27

crediblereading2 wrote:
13 Apr 2018, 22:13
If someone keeps repeating something and getting the same results, maybe it is not insanity. It could be that the person is hoping earnestly to get a different result.
Maybe, but if it is causing them all sorts of pain, then I suggest they find a new way.

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