Official Review: Parenting Errors by Dr. Kerby T. Alvy

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CatInTheHat
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Official Review: Parenting Errors by Dr. Kerby T. Alvy

Post by CatInTheHat » 27 Feb 2018, 20:54

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Parenting Errors" by Dr. Kerby T. Alvy.]
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3 out of 4 stars
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Dr. Kerby T. Alvy is the founder of the Center for the Improvement of Child Caring. His Parenting Errors: How to Solve Them presents parents with a variety of parenting programs as they search for answers in becoming better parents. Alvy’s main goals are to help parents solve and correct their parenting errors, as well as helping them become more effective parents. Often, parents do not realize that they are making errors, so Alvy helps them to recognize such errors.

Parenting Errors includes a detailed overview of the types of errors parents make. Errors of commission and omission are discussed. The types of care parents need to provide children are explained in detail, from the obvious ones, like providing food, to the not so obvious ones, like protecting them from social harm. Alvy introduces many concepts, giving parents detailed information about why they should want to fix their errors. He shares information about positive parenting and the authoritative style of parenting. The distinct types of parenting programs that effectively address effective parenting are discussed. Several parenting programs are described in detail, including ones that most parents are familiar with (STEP- Systematic Training for Effective Parenting) and some less well-known programs (Total Transformation Program).

The book’s format includes a detailed “Table of Contents,” which allows parents to easily access information when they want to refresh their memory about a specific tool or program. I found this very helpful, as I would read a detail and want to go back to compare it to a program discussed earlier in the book. I liked that the explanations were in a vernacular that most people can understand. Links are provided to the various websites connected with the programs, which allows parents to have immediate access rather than taking the “I’ll look for that later” attitude.

A major issue that I had was that part of what Alvy calls psychological caring includes “orienting them to appropriate gender functioning.” I was so shocked to see this phrase, without any explanation. One can only infer, with the use of the word “appropriate,” that the author was indicating that children who say that they are a different gender than what is expected traditionally are “wrong” and need help from their parents to be properly oriented.

A minor issue that I found with the book was the lack of a chart or spreadsheet listing the various programs. I found myself wanting to compare the programs side-by-side. I wanted to know what was the same and what was different in the various programs. I also wanted to see the pros and cons of each, as I think that would parents in their decision making, in chart format.

I rate this book 3 out of 4 stars. The book is well-formatted and easy to follow. The grammar errors were minimal (3 errors in the book), so were not distracting. Parents that are seeking fresh solutions to parenting will find Parenting Errors useful.

******
Parenting Errors
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Post by kandscreeley » 02 Mar 2018, 08:57

This sounds like a great book for anyone with children or who deal with children. I don't fit into either of those categories, so I'm going to skip it. Thanks, though!
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Post by prettysmart » 02 Mar 2018, 13:16

A thoroughly educational material for those who are currently parenting or on the verge of parenting. Lovely review!

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Post by Sahani Nimandra » 02 Mar 2018, 20:56

I think this book has lot to offer after all children are the most important source in this whole word. A good generation, a generation drowned with humanity is very difficult to find. Lot crime issues is a result of broken homes. I think this book will help to fix a lot problems not only at home but for the society as well. Thank you!
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Post by katiesquilts » 02 Mar 2018, 22:50

Do you think this book suggests being too involved with your children and not giving them space to grow as individuals? So many parenting books I read insist that things like starting chores from a young age or giving children space when they are crying to see if they can calm themselves down are practically abuse. However, providing every little thing for children and not allowing them to learn skills such as resourcefulness and self-control definitely seems to cause issues when they grow up and can't do anything for themselves. I wonder if this book suggests a more balanced approach?

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Post by Libs_Books » 03 Mar 2018, 13:30

Interesting review, thanks. I'm glad you raised your concern about 'appropriate gender functioning'. One thing I think is odd, is that I get the idea the author approves of the positive rather than the authoritarian approach, so don't you think it odd that the title focuses on parent errors? :)

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Post by Ida123 » 03 Mar 2018, 14:12

Not a mother yet but very helpful for my sister!!! :lol:

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Post by CatInTheHat » 03 Mar 2018, 15:59

Libs_Books wrote:
03 Mar 2018, 13:30
Interesting review, thanks. I'm glad you raised your concern about 'appropriate gender functioning'. One thing I think is odd, is that I get the idea the author approves of the positive rather than the authoritarian approach, so don't you think it odd that the title focuses on parent errors? :)
There is some focus at the beginning of the book on fixing errors already made.
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Post by ashley_claire » 03 Mar 2018, 16:23

Parenting books are tricky because every child needs something different. My own two children are very different and using the exact same approach to parenting with each of them wouldn't work because they have different needs. I find myself interested in parenting books whenever I come across them because I can generally find at least one idea to incorporate. But I think I'll have to pass on this one as the "appropriate gender functioning" does make me uncomfortable.

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Post by NL Hartje » 03 Mar 2018, 20:12

As someone with children- I do not read parenting books. My poor kids, haha. I just throw at them the same crazy my parents threw at me and hope for the best :lol2:

This gent certainly seems to have it figured out though!
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Post by CatInTheHat » 04 Mar 2018, 05:35

katiesquilts wrote:
02 Mar 2018, 22:50
Do you think this book suggests being too involved with your children and not giving them space to grow as individuals? So many parenting books I read insist that things like starting chores from a young age or giving children space when they are crying to see if they can calm themselves down are practically abuse. However, providing every little thing for children and not allowing them to learn skills such as resourcefulness and self-control definitely seems to cause issues when they grow up and can't do anything for themselves. I wonder if this book suggests a more balanced approach?
The book actually gives an overview of different positive parenting approaches. I didn't see anything negative in regards to chores too early or making them cry it out. It showed how different programs are developmentally appropriate at different stages.
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Post by Bomisope » 05 Mar 2018, 16:57

Great review. I'm a mother, and I love reading books on parenting. This should be great.

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Post by Bola3299 » 10 Mar 2018, 09:35

Kids with different characters you cannot compare one to another because they all different and unique in their on ways, being a mother of 4 I've tried to know how to handle each one of them. Even their dad. haha.

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Post by CatInTheHat » 10 Mar 2018, 15:30

Bola3299 wrote:
10 Mar 2018, 09:35
Kids with different characters you cannot compare one to another because they all different and unique in their on ways, being a mother of 4 I've tried to know how to handle each one of them. Even their dad. haha.
This author did not suggest comparing one's kids. He gave an overview of various positive parenting approaches.
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Post by Anita_Gatson » 10 Mar 2018, 17:13

Thank you for your thorough review. Over several years I've worked with many children from pre-school to 18. Although having to be a part of many training sessions as part of job descriptions I've never been a fan of "parenting books" because I feel that others can only offer suggestions and opinions on how to deal with behavioral and other issues children have. I'm not aware of any proof that "parenting books" have shown to be helpful in any area of a child's upbringing.

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