Official Review: Not a Blueprint: It's the Shoe Prints Th...

[Quinto]

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Not a Blueprint: It's the Shoe Prints That Matter" by Nina Norstrom, Author.]

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4 out of 4 stars

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The well known English cliché that experience is the best teacher is well exemplified in the book: Not a Blueprint: It's the Shoe Prints That Matter by Nina Norstrom. It's by far the most well-written memoir I have ever read from the point of view of the potential of a book's capacity to impact positively on its readers. This is because it's hard to read this work and not feel moved by its content.

The author, Nina Norstrom, grew up in a suburb of the city of Chicago, Illinois, in a close-knit and conservative Christian family composed of five other siblings. Though the family considered itself Christian, Nina's father, Johnny Senior, was abusive towards his wife - a conscientious and old-fashioned woman - who made sure every member of her family prepared to go to worship the Lord every Sunday. Soon, Johnny Senior's philandering ways would see the couple part ways. With the children given a choice to pick between either parent. As the toxic environment in her home made a deep imprint on her heart, she would escape reality by continuously repeating to herself the words: "I'm invisible. I'm invisible." Or simply, just letting her mind wander thinking about the many career opportunities open out to her in the immediate future. And when not busying herself around the house, she'll be at her close friend's, Netti's, place. Then about to start her senior year, and while at Netti's place, she met Netti's brother, Craig, who was in the Navy. Taken aback by his charm at first sight, and with lots of naivety to boot, she accepted a date with him. This was to be the beginning of a remarkable change in Nina's life, and an effusion of toxicity that will herald her to write this book. But what exactly instigated this course in her life that it became so imperative for her to write a book as a form of therapeutic healing? And how is the term "toxicity" tied down with all that was happening in the author's life? And, lastly, was toxicity manifest in her life in one or a variety of ways?

The aforementioned, are some of the fundamental questions that the book addresses. Reading her book heightened my perspective on the importance of not only giving timely advice but also offering a supportive structure to those encompassing physical, emotional, spiritual and mental turmoil. Focusing on the book title, it reflects so much on the theme of the book. It brings out the aspect of individuality towards approaching the theme and problem of toxicity in relationships. It recognizes that there is no one-size-fits-it-all kind of solution to the problem. But rather, using an analogy of someone lost in the forest, it's imperative for the searcher to trace the lost person's shoe prints (trail) as they seek to find or help them. At times, the shoe prints may point to the searcher meaning that they are part of the problem or the cause of the problem. Anyhow, the searcher needs to have an open mind for possibilities whilst playing an active role in empathizing. Empathy is important because some of the issues at play are overwhelming for one person to handle, such as cancer, divorce, unwanted pregnancies, domestic violence and sexual promiscuity. Other themes discussed in the book are issues to do with faith, especially in a crisis, and family bonds.

To elaborate further on the cliché I had earlier mentioned, it is said that we keep learning from others' experience so that we don't repeat their mistakes. The author has narrated her memoirs in a candid way. It was emotional enough for me as I went through her experiences. I think an example will suffice at this time. Mandy was Nina's close friend (BFF) and had been separated from her husband. She was on public assistance and had two beautiful daughters. Being so close, the ladies shared a lot of their experiences about the men in their lives. Like that day when Nina's baby daddy, Craig, went out without her and how wacko she became, burning his clothes at the whim of the moment. What's sad about the ladies' relationship is that it ended tragically after Mandy was found murdered, a case of domestic violence by an estranged husband who didn't care that any of his under-age daughters would witnesses the murder. Sadly, this is the tone that runs throughout the book - one gleeful and carefree moment interspersed with a melancholic one. I was able to identify with Nina's book as it reflected a lot of the goings-on in my circle. I got to experience her frailty as a human. I felt her as she reached out and got disappointed by the men in her life. I felt for the beautiful child who would sit by the window looking out because it was her birthday and her father had promised her some gifts. She sat by the window hour after hour waiting for him, only for her to turn away crying because her father didn't show up! Lastly, in the course of my reading, I was heartbroken reading about such children who would have to suffer emotional and traumatic scars because of disease and other reasons they'll never comprehend.

The novel is a great resource book on relationships. For starters, each chapter is well labeled and reads like a chronology of a stage in the life of a relationship. From birth to childhood, growing to teenage years, teenage years giving way to young adulthood, and eventually, into mature adulthood. The author has expertly narrated the lives of several characters, including her own, who are related by blood, friendship, work or are just plain neighbors. After the end of each chapter, the author has included summarised notes on insights to be gained from each chapter. She has also included several appendixes containing addresses and contacts of organizations which offer various support structures, like when one is maneuvering through emotional obstacles or dealing with ailments, such as cancer or post-traumatic stress disorder. I also enjoyed how the author interspersed or likened the events that were happening to her by relating them to her favorite movie or actress. For example, in the incident mentioned above where Nina burned Craig's clothes, in a moment, she felt like she was living a "Betty Broderick moment - just like when she set her man's clothes on fire. Or was it the Angela Bassett scene in Waiting to Exhale? Paying back her man was definitely a moment of rage."

Having read the book, I found myself resolving to be a better person to the people close to me. The book's narration has a way of reminding you as to how life is precious. I liked Nina's endearing use of the word "angel" to describe people that have been and continue to be impactful in her life. Consequently, I too hope and long to have such an effect on those who know or love me. For the author, it has been the journey of her life - so far - and an impressionable one at that, to me and others. She has written the book devoid of any grammar and typo errors (just saw one minor case of a missing comma). It's a book that has the capacity and potential to change our human relationships for the better. It's a book that I unreservedly recommend to everyone because we are first and foremost members of a family. Further and more specifically, I recommend it to anyone going through a rough period in life, like having a relationship with cancer or post-traumatic stress disorder (as a patient or knowing someone suffering from it). I rate the book at 4 out of 4 stars.

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Not a Blueprint: It's the Shoe Prints That Matter
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Like Quinto's review? Post a comment saying so!

[Cristina Chifane]

I can tell you have really enjoyed reading this book. I was attracted from the beginning by your description of Nina's family. I think that stories of abuse and toxic relationships should be told as a means of healing and learning. Thank you for an honest and enthusiastic review!

[J Gordon]

I really like your review! You make it clear how the "toxicity" of a situation, combined with human "frailty" make for a compelling memoir that made you sympathetic to the writer's plight.

[prettysmart]

It would be great to unfold the manner in which Nina was able to impact the lives of others positively...awesome review!

[KitabuKizuri]

This book sounds deep, great work on the review!

[kandscreeley]

I looked at this review yesterday, and I just couldn't figure out if I would enjoy the book or not. So, I didn't comment. I did appreciate your review; I just don't have a lot to comment on this one. Thanks for the review, though. It gave me a lot to think about.