4 out of 4 stars
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We live in a world where competition is everything, where striving to be the first and the best are notions drilled into each of us from a young age. If you’re not one of the best, you lag behind. If you lag behind, you won’t get that coveted scholarship to that prestigious school. And if you don’t get into that school, your life is no longer a success but a failure. Or, at least, that’s what most parents would want their kids to believe. That’s the atmosphere children who have an interest in sports are growing up in.
And that’s the very mentality coach Pete Paciorek talks against in his book Character Loves Company. The “win-at-all-costs” attitude is not healthy. It creates students who gain the wrong view of life, learn the wrong values and grow up to continue fostering that negative mindset that is so prevalent in the Western world.
Pete Paciorek is a coach of youth baseball, following in the footsteps of his father who was also a coach in his time. His father instilled in him the right values, which helped Pete grow into a person with his priorities straight. He understands that coaching is not only about making great athletes but also about preparing them for a life after sports. He wants to instill the right values into our youth when the society itself is moving towards profits, with a sad side-effect that creates ego-hungry coaches.
In his book, Character Loves Company, Paciorek describes 25 important character values, split into smaller groups appropriate for various ages. Development starts at a very young age, and that’s where he begins the first five character values as well, suitable for children of ages 5 to 7.
Next, he discusses the core values for kids of further age groups until, finally, when they have internalized these values and have reached the teen and young-adult ages, they can learn the advanced mastery character values which talk about winning the right way and, in turn, teaching new children athletes the same values they have learned through this course.
To illustrate his points, the author has gathered several snippets from his numerous interviews with professional and amateur athletes, as well as coaches from all over America. Each snippet has a valuable lesson to teach, so when reading the book, don’t let your eyes glaze over them. They’re truly important. At the end of each section, he includes several activities for coaches to help the kids understand and learn these values.
I have to admit that I am neither living in the US (the book is very American-centric, it IS a book about sports in the US) nor am I an athlete or a coach. I am just someone who loves to watch sports (especially tennis). I chose this book because the 2018 Winter Olympics has just started, so I had a reason to immerse myself deeper into the sports world as I read the book and watched the games unfold on TV.
I grew up with friends and classmates who practiced sports at school, and I realized that without intending, the author wrote a book that applies everywhere in the Western world. As every country becomes more and more competitive, there is a tendency of coaches, parents and even school administrators to become extremely “pushy” with students. Also, the “us” and “we” mentality is quickly turned into “I” and “me” with the clear meaning that everyone is for himself or herself and there is only one winner.
The book is written in a clear tone. The language used by the author is personal and straight to the point. While reading, I had a feeling that he was talking directly to me during a 1-1 conversation. I found only a handful of punctuation errors (a comma added before a dependent clause, no hyphen added to a compound adjective, and a few periods missing at the end of some sentences). Otherwise, this is a professionally edited book.
Even though I admit that I am not the most likely target audience for this book, I learned a lot from it. Character Loves Company deserves 4 out of 4 stars. It stands out in a sea of books which promote the usual “win above all else” mentality. It teaches the right values to follow, and it should be required reading for every coach and every parent whose kids practice sports of any kind.
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Character Loves Company
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Thanks for the great review.
