Official Review: Lost in the Reflecting Pool

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Jennifer Allsbrook
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Latest Review: Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane Pomerantz
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Official Review: Lost in the Reflecting Pool

Post by Jennifer Allsbrook » 05 Feb 2018, 01:47

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Lost in the Reflecting Pool" by Diane Pomerantz.]
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4 out of 4 stars
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Lost in the Reflecting Pool: a Memoir by Diane Pomerantz provides readers with a glimpse into the emotionally abusive and self-destructive relationship that she experienced for more than twenty years with a narcissistic and cruel husband. From its happy beginnings to its slide into disintegration, the marriage of Diane and her husband, Charles, is portrayed with thoughtful reflection, love, hate, and brutal honesty.

From its outset, the relationship of Diane and Charles seems to be a storybook romance where Charles dazzles her with flowers, home-cooked meals, wine in front of the fire, and long walks with her dog. Then comes the marriage proposal, the moving in together, the beautiful outdoor wedding, and the starting of their private practice as a psychiatrist and psychologist partnership. Appearing to have everything, Diane and Charles are happy, but soon it becomes clear that not all is well in paradise. Little derisive comments, statements about his mother, and other red flags start to show up, but Diane in her bubble of happiness and love does not take these warning signs to heart. Diane and Charles try to start a family with no success which drives them to seek out fertility treatments and eventual adoption which pays off, and they start a family. Diane is aglow with maternal bliss, but Charles becomes increasingly critical and begins to spend more time away from home.

At this point, the memoir begins to show the mental and emotional toll on Diane as she begins to exhibit self-doubt, lack of self-confidence, and questions her decisions, thoughts, and feelings. Charles, on the other hand, is arrogant, selfish, and seems to gain satisfaction from the turmoil he causes in Diane. Pomerantz then shares her intensely personal and honest battle with breast cancer. From the initial diagnosis, through the rounds of surgeries, chemotherapy, and eventual reconstruction, we follow Diane’s ups and downs. Sharing her fear and the effects the disease has on her children, we also learn that Charles becomes less and less supportive throughout his wife’s illness. It is through this experience that the blinders finally come off and Diane realizes the true nature of her relationship with Charles.

I found this memoir to be inspiring in many ways. Pomerantz decided to use her true identity instead of using a pseudonym. She put her pain and suffering out there so that others could learn from her story. That she was able to overcome her health issues, insecurities, self-doubt, and post-traumatic stress and move on with her life are a testament to her strength of character and perseverance. As a victim of abuse myself, I found myself empathizing with Diane throughout the story. It is extremely difficult to extricate yourself from an abusive relationship for a variety of reasons. Many of these Pomerantz explains in her memoir: denial, lack of confidence, lack of money, feelings of inadequacy that have a paralyzing effect, and more.

Not only does Pomerantz provide insight into the abuse cycle and its effects but also she shows the importance of friends and family who provide support and encouragement. Pomerantz showed the strong bond that forms between a mother and her children especially as they witness her abuse. She explained the emotional effects and how she, as a trained child psychologist, dealt with this with her children. Her many friends, coworkers, and especially her father were the catalysts for change that eventually allowed Diane to move on to a better life for herself and her children.

Overall, I rate Lost in the Reflecting Pool: a Memoir 4 out of 4 stars. I enjoyed most Diane’s strength and willingness to share her experiences. The thing I enjoyed the least was the sadness that comes along with reading about someone’s suffering. This story is appropriate for women who are or have been victims of abuse or for readers who enjoy memoirs or stories of personal triumph. Everyone will find something that he or she can take to heart. Thank you, Diane Pomerantz, for sharing this memoir.

******
Lost in the Reflecting Pool
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CommMayo
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Post by CommMayo » 09 Feb 2018, 14:19

I'm glad to hear that Diane gets out and is able to triumph after living through an abusive marriage. Growing up in a house full of emotional abuse from my father, I'm not sure if I have the strength to read this book. Great review!

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Post by kandscreeley » 09 Feb 2018, 15:00

There definitely is sadness that comes with reading about someone's life when it was so full of hardships. I'm really glad she was able to overcome, though. I'm also glad that she is willing to share her story with others, so that they can learn from her experiences! Thanks for a great review!
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Post by Maggie G » 09 Feb 2018, 20:31

I love reading about people’s lives, and this book sounds both wrenching and inspiring. Thank you for a great review!

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Post by Sahani Nimandra » 10 Feb 2018, 00:23

I have this book from the BOTD and after reading the description I loved it and I kept it in my shelf. I wanted to read it and I kept it with me. I honestly like it! Looking forward to read this book!
Happiness is a cup of coffee and a good book!

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Post by Mercy Bolo » 10 Feb 2018, 02:50

This is a quite a sad turn of events. There's a lot to learn from Diane's misfortunes. That's a trap that women should learn how to avoid.
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Post by Katerina Katapodi » 10 Feb 2018, 05:24

This book of Diane Pomerantz is not only interesting, but great as well! The topic has been taken from true life, and she actually describes reality more than myth. The content of book is realistic, and represents ''rule'' we could say more than myth and exception. The family abuse, and bad treatment of women by their husnbands in many ways, prepares us to be more cautious in our life, in all sectors, focusing on marriage. Most of times marriages start well, and with good conditions, but soon 'masks may fall' and then we have to face a bad and disappointing reality, like hero Diane here. Life is not a paradise, at least always. We develop dream in our mind, but we can soon realize we have to do only with dream and creation of our imagination. It's just rule, not exception, that life often leands us to the way, IT want to take us, but not without purpose. Life actually, and rules of nature and history, gives us some ''remedies'' in turn. In this case, woman Diane was abused by her husband, but she also has kids to support her with their love, friends and finally parents. There's nothing worse than family abuse and mainly abuse of husbands of their wives, like here. Bad feelings however can turn to an effort to survive, and change of rules of game of life. Life is often hard, but we always have solutions for it. Diana, the worst here, has breast cancer, but in the realm of disappointment, she may later meet another man, husband, that will really love her and save her, by treating her humanly! That's life!! Everything is relative,so let's be always optimistic and let me say, as personal concept from experience, we can Trust God, in our unhappiness, we'll always see in the end a light in the tunnel. We can overcome a disappointment almost immendiately, if we discover that people around us do not worth to be loved!..There are always alternatives to find in life, that will put us again to the normal way, and teach us how to have esteem of ourselves we deserve!!..I give 4 Stars also to this books.

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Post by Jennifer Allsbrook » 10 Feb 2018, 13:39

CommMayo wrote:
09 Feb 2018, 14:19
I'm glad to hear that Diane gets out and is able to triumph after living through an abusive marriage. Growing up in a house full of emotional abuse from my father, I'm not sure if I have the strength to read this book. Great review!
I found it hard at times but the positive takeaways are worth any sadness or negative feelings that might arise as a victim of abuse. Thank you for your positive comment.

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Post by Jennifer Allsbrook » 10 Feb 2018, 13:42

kandscreeley wrote:
09 Feb 2018, 15:00
There definitely is sadness that comes with reading about someone's life when it was so full of hardships. I'm really glad she was able to overcome, though. I'm also glad that she is willing to share her story with others, so that they can learn from her experiences! Thanks for a great review!
I found Diane's willingness to share her story to be the most compelling aspect. So many victims suffer in silence. Sharing allowed healing for herself and help for others. Thank you for your comments.

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Post by Jennifer Allsbrook » 10 Feb 2018, 13:44

Maggie G wrote:
09 Feb 2018, 20:31
I love reading about people’s lives, and this book sounds both wrenching and inspiring. Thank you for a great review!
Diane's story is both! Thank you for your positive comments.

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Jennifer Allsbrook
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Latest Review: Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane Pomerantz
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Post by Jennifer Allsbrook » 10 Feb 2018, 13:45

Mercy Bolo wrote:
10 Feb 2018, 02:50
This is a quite a sad turn of events. There's a lot to learn from Diane's misfortunes. That's a trap that women should learn how to avoid.
I agree that women can fall into the trap of believing the persona put forth by their potential mate. It is only after the deal is done that the true character comes out. Diane showed that this can be overcome, however. Thank you for your comments.

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Jennifer Allsbrook
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Latest Review: Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane Pomerantz
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Post by Jennifer Allsbrook » 10 Feb 2018, 13:47

Sahani Nimandra wrote:
10 Feb 2018, 00:23
I have this book from the BOTD and after reading the description I loved it and I kept it in my shelf. I wanted to read it and I kept it with me. I honestly like it! Looking forward to read this book!
I am glad you have the book. I was in progress on the review when it was offered as BOTD. Please read Diane's story!

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Jennifer Allsbrook
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Latest Review: Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane Pomerantz
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Post by Jennifer Allsbrook » 10 Feb 2018, 13:50

Katerina Katapodi wrote:
10 Feb 2018, 05:24
This book of Diane Pomerantz is not only interesting, but great as well! The topic has been taken from true life, and she actually describes reality more than myth. The content of book is realistic, and represents ''rule'' we could say more than myth and exception. The family abuse, and bad treatment of women by their husnbands in many ways, prepares us to be more cautious in our life, in all sectors, focusing on marriage. Most of times marriages start well, and with good conditions, but soon 'masks may fall' and then we have to face a bad and disappointing reality, like hero Diane here. Life is not a paradise, at least always. We develop dream in our mind, but we can soon realize we have to do only with dream and creation of our imagination. It's just rule, not exception, that life often leands us to the way, IT want to take us, but not without purpose. Life actually, and rules of nature and history, gives us some ''remedies'' in turn. In this case, woman Diane was abused by her husband, but she also has kids to support her with their love, friends and finally parents. There's nothing worse than family abuse and mainly abuse of husbands of their wives, like here. Bad feelings however can turn to an effort to survive, and change of rules of game of life. Life is often hard, but we always have solutions for it. Diana, the worst here, has breast cancer, but in the realm of disappointment, she may later meet another man, husband, that will really love her and save her, by treating her humanly! That's life!! Everything is relative,so let's be always optimistic and let me say, as personal concept from experience, we can Trust God, in our unhappiness, we'll always see in the end a light in the tunnel. We can overcome a disappointment almost immendiately, if we discover that people around us do not worth to be loved!..There are always alternatives to find in life, that will put us again to the normal way, and teach us how to have esteem of ourselves we deserve!!..I give 4 Stars also to this books.
Katrina - you offer additional insights into Diane's story. I agree that finding way's to have self-esteem allows those that are victimized to rise above it.

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Post by Masood khan » 10 Feb 2018, 14:29

I would look forward to purchase this book and I'm emotionally connected with the story I would rate 4 stars for lost in the reflecting pool and appreciate the fact that women who handles this kind of pain is still surviving which makes me stronger to handle the issues and problems which I am facing in my life..

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Post by vinodsai » 12 Feb 2018, 02:54

Amazing Review. Diane's Memoir is Sad and at the same time Inspiring. I hope this memoir inspires others who go through these kinds of horrific situations. Nowadays we see these kinds of abusive relationships happening but only some women come out and share the story. I am glad she is out of that sick life and moved towards a happy and better life with the help of her dad, friends, and coworkers.

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