Official Review: What We're Afraid to Ask

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inaramid
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Re: Official Review: What We're Afraid to Ask

Post by inaramid »

JJNP wrote: 26 Feb 2018, 10:05 Just to add to my previous comment. I probably should have explained myself better.
I am a survivor of abuse, a majority of which was based in Christian organizations, and I find approaches and attitudes to abuse, by Christians, very interesting as I am a writer myself and am working on a comprehensive study of the subject, so this book is very relevant to me.
Thanks for dropping by, JJNP! I did feel that the book will be particularly helpful for Christian adults. I hope this will aid you in your life and in your writing as well. Best of luck.
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Libs_Books
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Post by Libs_Books »

Thanks for a very thorough, clear, helpful and thoughtful review.
... this was a missed opportunity to drive home a point that Anna has repeatedly stressed throughout the book—that abusers are humans too and very likely have been victims of abuse themselves.
it seems a great pity that a book discussing such evil does not explore this important point.
... being told to just pray “for the object of your hatred” and to forgive as Jesus would can be immensely frustrating for someone in need of a more concrete direction
And, also, don't you think that blanket advice to forgive is dangerous, both emotionally and (arguably) spiritually? I know that letting go can be healing, but I think you have to be in the right place to do that. Advising people to forgive might just make people who feel bad already feel even worse because they can't forgive. In any case, at one point, Jesus seems to imply that there is no forgiveness for those who abuse children. The people he forgave were the people who abused him as an adult.

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JJNP wrote: 26 Feb 2018, 10:05 I am a survivor of abuse, a majority of which was based in Christian organizations, and I find approaches and attitudes to abuse, by Christians, very interesting as I am a writer myself and am working on a comprehensive study of the subject, so this book is very relevant to me.
Do you know Healing Spiritual Abuse and Religious Addiction by Matthew Linn, Sheila Fabricant & Dennis Linn ? I've read this and would recommend it, though I must make it clear that I'm not a survivor of childhood abuse.
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Post by JJNP »

Healing Spiritual Abuse and Religious Addiction by Matthew Linn, Sheila Fabricant & Dennis Linn
Yes, I know the book quoted, , I think they were the authors of 'We are all Good Goats' or similar title, my therapist used their books with victims of religious abuse, very helpful.
I hope I have posted this reply properly, I am new to this kind of thing.
Just agreeing with blanket forgiveness and praying for your abusers being wrong as well, the church tried to force that kind of thing on me.
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Post by inaramid »

Libs_Books wrote: 28 Feb 2018, 14:29 Thanks for a very thorough, clear, helpful and thoughtful review.

And, also, don't you think that blanket advice to forgive is dangerous, both emotionally and (arguably) spiritually? I know that letting go can be healing, but I think you have to be in the right place to do that. Advising people to forgive might just make people who feel bad already feel even worse because they can't forgive. In any case, at one point, Jesus seems to imply that there is no forgiveness for those who abuse children. The people he forgave were the people who abused him as an adult.
Oh, thank you very much for adding this insight! Forgiveness is a choice - the survivor's choice and not anyone else's - and, like you, I hate it when people are made to feel bad for not being able to forgive. One argument I heard was: "Are you better than Jesus? If he's able to forgive, why can't you?"

People have their own ways of coping, and no one can do it without help. "Help" oftentimes comes in the form of people; a few other times, in the form of books. Which one is more effective depends on the person concerned.
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Post by KitabuKizuri »

If only we could get to choose where, when and to whom we are born! I guess the book would be helpful, but to a limited demographic.
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