4 out of 4 stars
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Confessions of an Online Dater: A Man’s Guide to Dodging the Minefields, Red Flags, and Deal Breakers of Online Dating is a nonfiction advice book by Guy Johnson.
After separating from his wife, the author decided to try his hand at online dating in his mid-fifties. He eventually found love, but it was quite a process to find the woman that was right for him. From his experiences, he shares practical advice that he hopes will help others. Topics include profiles riddled with lies, outdated photographs, and not having a spark with your date. While being on the lookout for dishonesty is a major theme, the author highly stresses the importance of being honest yourself. He walks readers through the series of decisions involved in online dating, such as determining how long you want to commit to a paid membership plan and how many websites to join. The book is filled with questions to ask yourself to figure out what exactly it is that you are looking for. The author also helps the reader prepare to be asked personal questions, depending on your relationship status (never been married, divorced, etc.) Other topics include but are not limited to taking a passive or active approach (waiting to be contacted or persistently searching for what you’re looking for), dating as a single parent, ending a bad date, and entering into an exclusive relationship.
While the book is intended for male readers who are looking to find “that last mate and living happily ever after,” the author also notes that it can be helpful for female readers as well to gain “insight into how men approach their search.” As a woman, I wanted to read this book for two reasons: for a laugh and to better understand a man’s perspective when it comes to dating. I was satisfied on both fronts. There are certainly many comical aspects to the novel, including an entire chapter dedicated to wacky things dates have said to him. But the book is also very honest and practical. Additionally, it was well organized, thorough, and detail-oriented. For instance, the author breaks down the numbers for the percentage of women he actually went out with after contacting them, their demographics, the length of his relationships, and so on.
As previously stated, this book is very honest and also straightforward. This was certainly one of its strengths, among many. There were a lot of quotes that I put in my notes because they were so insightful. One example is when the author discusses some women’s attitude about divorce: “You will encounter some women who are at peace over being divorced, while others are still bitter and try to make every man they meet pay for the sins of their ex-husband(s). Men are also guilty of this, so do some self-reflecting or therapy before dating, if needed.” Another example based on his personal experience: “...if it’s six-plus dates and you are still meeting in some parking lot, then she may have trust issues or may be hiding something…” He also gives solid advice on dealing with rejection: “Take the high road, and be graceful about it—remember there are plenty of other choices.”
The only thing that I didn’t like about the book is that I was left with the feeling that it was incomplete. The book was very short. Based on the subtitle, the author certainly accomplishes what he set out to do, but I also wanted to know about his successes and the lasting relationship that came out of over four years of searching.
I rate this book 4 out of 4 stars. Despite my desire for it to be longer, that speaks to how much I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Hopefully, the author will continue writing because I know he has more stories to share, and I would gladly read them. I would recommend this book to readers who enjoy hearing unique perspectives on finding love.
Confessions Of An Online Dater
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