4 out of 4 stars
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With more than fifty percent of marriages ending in divorce, many of these divorces usually end on a sour note. Are you a divorcee? Or you are a person going through a difficult marital separation. SPLITTING UP without falling to pieces by Jan Kaa Kristensen, a clinical psychologist, offers timeless advice for couples and single parents battling separation and child custody matters. It explores the themes of family, separation, child upbringing, as well as emotional and mental health.
The book is divided into ten chapters that highlight specific action points in detail. Chapters one to five focused on the personal groundwork needed to become a better co-parent. Chapters six to nine emphasized the need for collaborative cooperation between parents, the importance of seeking help from their support network, and how to go about it. The final chapter was dedicated to couples with special circumstances like couples dealing with alcohol addiction, substance abuse, and many more.
I agree with the author's point of view. The book's central theme revolves around the need for parents to put the welfare of the children first while sorting out their marital issues.
I admire Jan Kaa Kristensen's conversational style of writing. He writes with the expertise of one who is knowledgeable in the subject. Throughout the book, the author used citations of scholarly works to bolster his points. Also, the author used anecdotes of real-life couples (even though it had been fictionalized) in his explanations. Knowing about their struggles made the reading more practical and relatable.
I like that the book did not waste much time apportioning blames or crying over spilled milk. The author’s primary concern was on co-working and achieving collaborative cooperation between both parents. I also liked the author’s attempts at explaining relevant scientific terms/topics at the end of every chapter. He made terms like emotional mirroring more understandable to the average reader. At the end of every chapter, there are insightful questions for the reader. These contributed a lot to the practicality of the ideas in the book, not just a bunch of unrealistic theoretical recommendations. For these reasons, I am rating the book 4 out of 4 stars. Also, the book was well edited because I noticed only a few grammatical errors.
I highly recommend it to divorcees or people currently going through divorce proceedings, especially those who have children involved. It is also a good recommendation for couples going through a tough time in their marriage. Young adults in relationships that are contemplating tying the knot will also benefit from reading this book. On a final note, there is nothing to dislike about the book. All the lessons on managing disagreement and de-escalating conflict highlighted in the book were beneficial.
SPLITTING UP without falling to pieces
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