4 out of 4 stars
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In an ideal world, every relationship would be perfect. Love would always be enough, and those who care for each other would always be able to meet each other's needs. However, that world does not exist, and people who love each other end up hurting each other all the time without understanding why. In Finding Your Relationship Fix, Chris A. Matthews teaches his readers that relationships take work and there is no shame in seeking help from a trained professional. Learning how to take care of your partner and express your own needs is a skill that must be learned, just like anything else in life.
The book is split into four chapters, each covering a different component that makes up a good relationship. Matthews discusses why each component is important, problems that happen when they are missing, why people may not have them in their relationships, and how a couples therapist can help. I feel like this is a good format overall, but the author lists a lot of things to the point where the reader may lose track of the main topic they're reading about. I found it helpful to glance at the table of contents every now and then to see which part of the chapter I was in.
The book is well written and taught me a few ways to improve my own relationships. Although it is geared toward romantic partners, the concepts can be applied to other types of relationships as well. What I liked the most was reading stories about how different couples responded to the author's therapy. He also has some good analogies, like describing that couples therapy is like applying first aid to a relationship. The book seems well edited, since I only found one typo.
What I disliked the most was the large amount of technical words the author uses in the beginning of the book. He uses "the five axioms of communication" to show how people communicate and how it can break down. Although the information is good, the high number of technical words made me feel like I was reading a textbook, which made it harder for me to understand the information. For example, he states that "intimate partners communicate digitally and analogically" with digital being the actual words in a message and analog being the nonverbal cues. I personally don't understand the difference between digital and analog signals, and found these terms unnecessary when he explained that it means a message has both a verbal and nonverbal part.
I personally enjoyed reading this book and think it can help a lot of people. I give this book a 4 out of 4 stars because it is well written, contains insightful information and seems professionally edited. I recommend it to any couple that wants to improve their relationship but doesn't know how.
Finding Your Relationship Fix
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