Everything else could wait...or could it?

[Stephanie Elizabeth]

Well, this is a great question, but there is no way of knowing. I think that at the moment, caring for her patients and nurturing her career was immensely fulfilling, and I don't think she'd change that. Priorities are unique to each person. I value my health and family more than anything, and I try my best to care for both, but many people value their careers more than anything else.

[Sasha_100]

Keeping a balance as much as possible between work, loved ones and time for yourself.

I'm don't believe hustling is everything and while I have big dreams I will never forsake my
mental and physical health and time with loved ones for that.

I'm really don't agree with toxic work culture for that same reason. Just because someone has dreams doesn't mean they can't enjoy anything else in their life.

[Sushan Ekanayake]

I think it's really important to balance your family life and your work life. If you love what you do, and your family doesn't feel neglected, there's no problem with prioritizing your work. Especially if it's work that's as important as medicine
Additionally, I feel cancer is one of those things that can strike anyone. I highly doubt that if she worked less, she would've avoided any possibility of cancer.

Most families understand the workaholic nature of their breadwinner. But that does not mean that they are happy about that or they simply accept that. The particular person has to keep that in mind and respect that sacrifice in order to not to end up with relationship matters. But neglecting one's own self with the excuse of having no time due to caring for others cannot be accepted because to care for others first you must care for yourself.

[Sushan Ekanayake]

There's no easy answer to this question. Is Spock right when he said, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few". Or is Norm Kelly right when he said, "You can't pour from an empty cup"? I think a delicate balance that works for the person and their family is best, but if you don't take care of yourself, you may not be around to take care of anyone else.

Needs of many can outweigh the needs of a few. But at the same time if your cup is empty how can you pour to others? I think both of these quotes are correct but they are applicable to different occasions with different meanings.

For this specific scenario I think the second quote is more applicable. Your cup should be filled first. Like that, you have to be healthy first to save the others, not the other way round. Being less caring for herself made this doctor pulled away from her calling, medicine, ultimately.

[Bernard Udofia]

I've always wondered how much time I have. What if my life ends the next minute? Will I regret it? The fact is I won't if I've lived a happy life. By happy, I don't mean the standards set by society but doing the things that would genuinely make me happy.
Not everyone has the same kind of priorities. For instance, I prioritise my family. Some people give more importance to their career. Likewise, the author found her happiness in caring for her patients. She clearly mentions it was her calling.
My take: prioritise whatever makes you happy. Everything else can wait... Of course!

I agree with you; she found happiness caring for others. This isn't to say that her family wasn't a source of joy for her; the fact that they supported her in her passion I'm sure was a big driving force for her. Having said that, I think we should be more intentional about our own health and situation while we render service to other people. To give your best you have to be your best. If it were me, even though being of service to others makes me happy, my family comes first because without them, I won't be in the frame of mind to help anyone.

[Sushan Ekanayake]

The author sees her job as her vocation and passion, so by not doing this job may have affected her mental health adversely. It is however important to find balance in life and take time to take care of yourself and your family, although this balance takes a lot of care to fine tune.

She could have lost balance if her husband dragged her out of her practice and taken her to a doctor to show he condition. But after hearing the diagnosis she should definitely have thanked him for that.

It is true that everyone love to be busy in the field where their passion lies. But this scenario leaves the question, "Is it worthwhile to be too much selfless in chasing your calling or the passion?"

[Sushan Ekanayake]

I'd personally want the author to be my healthcare provider. She really cares for her patients and understands that they deserve to be treated with care and dignity although she is in business. With that said, it seems she went over and beyond. While that is amazing and commendable, failure to balance responsibilities in life leads to devastation in some parts of your life. I don't think she could have avoided cancer but she might have noticed some changes a little sooner had she not put herself in the back seat.

There is no argument about her being a good clinician as well as a good person. She should have definitely dedicated towards her service. But seemingly she ignored her own self due to that dedication. Working selflessly is a good thing, but completely ignoring one's own self is unacceptable and this example is a good reminder to not to do that.

[Sushan Ekanayake]

Your first question does not exactly make sense to me. How I see cancer is you can take you steps to avoid it or lessen the risks but in the end that may not matter.
Your second question is something I understand somewhat. To keep your job you can not really do it halfheartedly since depending on it will probably make you lose it (Linking this to me doing the reviews). She was doing something she loved and her husband was in support of it. Should not everyone be supported of someone doing what they love? by rights it looks like she was not doing any harm with her family about it.

I am well aware that certain cancers are unavoidable despite whatever you do. But some cancers actually can be prevented by avoiding certain behaviours. I am not telling that not doing her job in a dutiful manner would have prevented her cancer, but if she took the time to care for that at the earliest stage, it would not have spread up to the level of lymph node, which makes it a time bomb. You can do whatever you love. But first of all you must love your own self.

[Vishnu Priya B]

It is up to you to choose your own priorities. And if they make you happy your life will be complete. But as a social being we are inevitably bound to our families. So if one has made his career the priority and his family the second, it may cause the family to suffer. He may rise in his career, but will get distant from his close ones. What completeness will be there in such a life

Of course, your family will suffer. But that doesn't mean you won't be living a complete life. Think about great leaders and freedom fighters. They dreamt of freedom and equality for others. They fought for it. Which in turn made them feel complete. Do you think their families didn't suffer? Yet they did what they did, why? Because that was their calling.

So, yup! Everything else can wait. Wait but not be abandoned! There's a difference.

We here only such stories which ended up in success. There were great leaders who pursued their callings on the expense of their families. As they ended up in success, all of them and their families gained something for the problems they faced. But what about the thousands of others who failed in such endeavours? They gained nothing for themselves or their families rather than an eternal suffering. That is why I say in whatever the circumstances you have to balance your personal life with your work life

True. But I hope you never did read the last line of my reply where I clearly said 'Everything else can wait, but not abandoned.'
Sure, many gained nothing for themselves or their families rather than eternal suffering, as you put it. But they were the ones that didn't know the difference between making someone/something wait and abandoning it forever. Unfortunately, not everyone is good at balancing or at living their own life, in general.

[Anna Bookowski]

Following your passion or "calling" is very important and can be vital for your happiness. People working in health-care are true heros. People who always place well-being of others in the first place have specific kind of personalities, which allows them only to be happy when they feel they did all they could for those who came looking for help to them. It's possible the cancer could go even worse for the author if she'd focused entirely on herself. You never know. And think how many people did she help meanwhile.
What I believe though, is that the family and your close ones is not something that can wait. They won't be there forever, we're all mortals. So when deciding on your priorities, always leave enough time for those most important in your life.

[jaym_tan]

Our definition of happiness differs from each other. Take the author, for example, she found a sense of purpose and contentment in being a caregiver. If you hate what you are doing then there is no point in doing it. True it might have caused her health. Yet, in the end, it didn't matter to her and carried on with what she loves.

[karineyn]

this is something only that person can answer as we can’t really understand her inner needs and emotions. For example, if taking care of her patients gives her complete satisfaction, how can we exclude that aspect from her taking care of herself? For me, creating an environment that gives you inner peace and satisfaction is also a way of taking care of yourself. That being said, there could be a balance between the physical care and emotional care. I just think she wouldn’t be happy if she were to completely refrain from working.

[Archaeoptery]

[quote=Sushan post_id=1688003 time=1623144173 user_id=731670]
[quote=Archaeoptery post_id=1685933 time=1622846925 user_id=2132828]
Your first question does not exactly make sense to me. How I see cancer is you can take you steps to avoid it or lessen the risks but in the end that may not matter.
Your second question is something I understand somewhat. To keep your job you can not really do it halfheartedly since depending on it will probably make you lose it (Linking this to me doing the reviews). She was doing something she loved and her husband was in support of it. Should not everyone be supported of someone doing what they love? by rights it looks like she was not doing any harm with her family about it.
[/quote]

I am well aware that certain cancers are unavoidable despite whatever you do. But some cancers actually can be prevented by avoiding certain behaviours. I am not telling that not doing her job in a dutiful manner would have prevented her cancer, but if she took the time to care for that at the earliest stage, it would not have spread up to the level of lymph node, which makes it a time bomb. You can do whatever you love. But first of all you must love your own self.
[/quote]

ummmm. Actually it was caught very early, same thing with my dad.

[Sushan Ekanayake]

I always remind myself that at deathbed I don't want to regret that I haven't lived the life i should have.
In priorities are very important. What's your priority is how your life goings to turn but that doesn't mean in midst of just focusing on them you ignore yourself or your health. Because if you yourself aren't healthy then how are you going to do anything? Anything other can wait but that anything isn't your life! We human being are good at multitasking we really are, by that I don't think there'll be any problem for finding a little time for yourself.

Multitasking is a good thing and it has to be done because you cannot just ignore one thing saying that you do the other. But you should know how to balance everything and has to keep in mind that caring for your own self also is included in those tasks. If not you will end up in similar situations like this author some day.

[Sushan Ekanayake]

It depends on how we react to it, try to avoid those that can be a problem, sometimes other people don't understand how our condition is.

Could you please elaborate on your comment. I get that you mean it depend on how you react to certain situations that you face in your life will determine the consequences. But what do you mean by avoiding those who can be a problem? I do not see that this author having or had any problem with her patients or her family, and her illness was not due to their fault either.