Leaving Behind Trauma
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Re: Leaving Behind Trauma
“We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.”
French novelist Marcel Proust.
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Out of everyone in the book, I honestly felt the most sorry for Mark. Family is one of the most important thing to have that will support you, and going through being gay on his own had to have been so hard on him. I think the main reason he stayed was away firstly was because of their father (and with good reason). After their father's death, his brother also advised him to stay away. Mark must have wrongly thought his mother didn't want anything to do with him.Dman_1996 wrote: ↑19 Sep 2020, 22:08 Mark stayed away from home because he was gay and did not want to embarrass the family. I think his main reason for not coming to visit Lena is because he still has trauma from his father suppressing his true feelings and how his mother allowed his father to behave that way towards him. Bad memories are all he has of home and he was looking for a place where he belonged.
Why do you think Mark stayed away from home?
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I agree with you Manas. Acceptance can go a long way into helping someone overcome old trauma. And as you've quite correctly concluded, Lena's acceptance must have made Mark feel better.Manas Ranjan Mishra wrote: ↑13 Feb 2022, 01:33 Mark is the only person who was less understood by his father. Even his elder brother, who worship his father, protected Mark by keeping this fact as a secret. Staying away from home would have been traumatic for him. But obviously after seeing her mother accepting his identity with full heart pumped him with confidence.
~ Ernst Hemingway
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I think JJ was referring to their extended family. Both the maternal and paternal side who didn't like flaws in the family. And I think they considered being gay to be a flaw unlike JJ and Lena.AlexisLib wrote: ↑07 Oct 2020, 13:55 I did wonder about this since Joey had been dead for so long. I would have thought he'd want to visit to see JJ and his family, and then maybe test the waters with Lena, at least once in the past 30 years. He even asked JJ and JJ said no, the time wasn't right, but when I read that I interpreted it to mean that the people in the area (like the ones they'd gone to high school with who were still there and beat him up) were still prejudiced, not that it was about Lena. She just seems like she would be accepting to me. But in reading the above posts I can see how it might be hard to face Lena because she didn't protect them from Joey and to go back to the area where so much was traumatizing for him.
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