survivor
- AntonelaMaria
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survivor
"There's no way you can stop people from making mistakes no matter how much you want to. I couldn't stop myself. I don't know why I thought I could stop anybody else. I guess because I did learn one big thing. I learned that if you get help, you can help yourself."
It seems really inspiring but also true. How many times we know were are making a mistake and we do it anyway or know someone in our family is doing it but we can stop it? How many times we are trying to tought it out and not reach out for help thinking is the sign of weakness? In the end, when she allowed her friend and her mother to be there for her and help her she stopped hiding behind the bottle. She survived so much and then she is able to see that Maureen is making a mistakes and having a hard time. So she is there for her and Kalayla. She really is an amazing friend. Without the judgement and preachiness.
What are your thoughts?
The Minpins by Roald Dahl
- Kola+wole
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My greatest accomplishment is that I raised two daughters that love to read.
- Joseph_ngaruiya
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- Joseph_ngaruiya
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But do you think Lena fears being seen as weak? She's old and frail but strong at heart.
- Joseph_ngaruiya
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Accepting that there's a mistake that needs to be corrected and admitting that we need help are two issues that fight an individual's mind. I like the fact that Maureen is willing to listen to Lena when she knocks at her door to have a motherly talk.Maconstewart wrote: ↑02 Sep 2020, 13:45 I think asking for help is one of the hardest things for us humans. From the time we learn to walk we are striving for independence. I think the thought pattern is that when we ask for help we are surrendering some of that independence. There is also the fear that the help is not freely given.
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- Lilyflower-x2
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It is only when a person accepts help can they be helped. It is not weakness to ask for help. It is a sign of strength to face your fears, bare your weakness and be vulnerable enough to get help.AntonelaMaria wrote: ↑01 Sep 2020, 11:27 There is one quote from Lena that kind of stuck with me.
"There's no way you can stop people from making mistakes no matter how much you want to. I couldn't stop myself. I don't know why I thought I could stop anybody else. I guess because I did learn one big thing. I learned that if you get help, you can help yourself."
It seems really inspiring but also true. How many times we know were are making a mistake and we do it anyway or know someone in our family is doing it but we can stop it? How many times we are trying to tought it out and not reach out for help thinking is the sign of weakness? In the end, when she allowed her friend and her mother to be there for her and help her she stopped hiding behind the bottle. She survived so much and then she is able to see that Maureen is making a mistakes and having a hard time. So she is there for her and Kalayla. She really is an amazing friend. Without the judgement and preachiness.
What are your thoughts?
- Joseph_ngaruiya
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I choose to disagree with you for saying, getting help from others starts from the point of making one's self vulnerable in the presence of the potential helper. In this case, neither Maureen nor Kalayla knew Lena would help them out. Lena knew Maureen worked at Eddie's for a year, yet she only stepped in to help after noticing Kalayla was living with her.Wesley Friday wrote: ↑06 Sep 2020, 20:56 I think getting help from others starts from the point of making one's self vulnerable in the presence of the potential helper. Though we are social beings, if making friends as adults is much harder than in our childhood, how much do you think opening up about one's deepest flaws to someone you barely know as an adult will be. These women in the novel essentially lacked the emotional support a close relation could offer. Thus stepping out of their comfort zones to interact with persons who weren't professionals was probably much harder. But just like Lena said, in the end, they got help to help themselves by looking around themselves.
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Sharing is the easiest, hardest, and trickiest thing to do. Also the most beneficial.
- Joseph_ngaruiya
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Sharing is a working remedy, but it requires patience and trust. I wonder if this must have been the reason Maureen fabricated the story about their entire family perishing in a gas leak accident.Guda LM wrote: ↑11 Sep 2020, 14:33 Getting help is never as easy as it seems, especially for deeper or more profound issues. The first thing that comes to mind and always lead to hesistaion is the judgment that may come after revealing your mistake. It is always a difficult situation, as we always want help from the people we trust the most, but also their opinions of us and their view of us matters the most. So anything that threatens to change that, including revealing the mistake, is frowned upon. So in the end you end up struggling in silence.
Sharing is the easiest, hardest, and trickiest thing to do. Also the most beneficial.
- Nhitra
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- Allen Cheque
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- Joseph_ngaruiya
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At times you might find your problems to be personal. It's also challenging to find a confidant. So hard that Lena shares her problems with Lotta and nobody else. What's more frustrating is trying to help someone who thinks they don't need your help. Lena tries her best to get Kalayla a place or engaging activity that would make her spend her time productively. But Kalayla rebels every move.Nhitra wrote: ↑14 Sep 2020, 13:37 Asking for help is hard. Worried that you'll be ridiculed or frowned upon if you ever voice your concern. Maybe the fault doesn't lie in the people not asking for help but in their loved one who doesn't give them a safe environment for them to ask for help without fear.
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That is so true!! I think it lies on our loved ones to show us their care and trustworthiness. Without that, how are we gonna know that nobody will judge our mistakes?Nhitra wrote: ↑14 Sep 2020, 13:37 Asking for help is hard. Worried that you'll be ridiculed or frowned upon if you ever voice your concern. Maybe the fault doesn't lie in the people not asking for help but in their loved one who doesn't give them a safe environment for them to ask for help without fear.