Faelorehn by Jenna Elizabeth Johnson, or How Not to Do It (contains one spoiler

[freakkshowx]

Everyone wants to wake up one day and learn that they’re special. Maybe a chosen one, the subject of a prophecy, or a mythological creature living in a modern world whose quirks just never added up to normal. Many books use this fantasy as a premise for their main character’s journey successfully, funneling the readers’ desires into an engaging plot and a relatable cast. Unfortunately, Faelorehn also preys on this idea, and it’s unfortunate because this book is exactly what not to do if you don’t want your work to scream juvenile.
First of all, I was EXTREMELY offended at the portrayal of Na Morrigan as a one-dimensional goddess of evil and destruction, as if that’s a default setting tacked onto someone with an association with death. As a pagan who works with the Celtic pantheon, the author was unable to slip that by on me as she may have been able to with younger or less culturally aware readers. Fantasy authors are encouraged from day one to conjure the unexpected and take the reader on a mind-bogglingly wondrous journey, but instead, Johnson chose to fall back on the absolute laziest tropes imaginable, this being the most glaring example to me, and honestly had me both cringing at how awful it was and seething at the fact that the deity I have an altar to in my own home was being attacked as some sort of bloodthirsty monster to the masses. Na Morrigan is a symbol of the mysterious peace that comes from beyond the veil and a representative of the night, as well as a classic example of the triple goddess- maiden, mother, and crone. In short, she is a dazzling prism of traits, just like any other god, and the fact that the author decided to either majorly skimp on research or allow her own prejudices to seep through her work was sloppy and ridiculous. But wait, there’s more.
Meghan Elam, the humanoid in a human society, is your generic white girl living in a grey world, which continues to taste like an avocado pit after she’s introduced to a realm of actual monsters and myth. Months pass at a time between events, as in, the author physically typed, “a few months passed without incident,” multiple times to begin chapters, because that’s an acceptable way to write the passage of time, right? Just in case you were wondering, it’s not.
Now, Meghan is absolutely stupid and as socially capable as a popsicle with freezer-burn. This may sound like an exaggeration, but the most glaring social dynamics the book are like Sherlock Holmes mysteries as attempted to be solved by Watson. She’s always multiple steps behind understanding anything, ever, and sometimes it really made me wonder how she survived that long without a brainstem, which brings me to the mysterious love interest, Cade MacRoich. This incredibly “mysterious” character strikes me as the guy-liner-wearing fedora of the Otherworld, and by mysterious, I mean absolutely fantastic at being obviously questionable when it comes to Meghan’s best interest. He is one of the only other half-decently defined characters in the book (the other two being Meghan and Na Morrigan), and is by no means believable, even though he is supposed to live in a world where the impossible is a daily occurance. I’m also just going to take a second to point out here how the names of the characters seem to have been pulled out of the rectum of a Dungeons and Dragons name generator. That is not intended to be a compliment.
The series this is a part of, called the Otherworld series, is supposed to be all about the “Otherworld”, or something, right? Well, if you’re looking to actually get a glimpse of said other world, you’re not going to, because it ends up (spoiler alert!) being an actual pile of rocks. That’s all the readers get to see of it at the tail end of the first book in a trilogy named after the realm that actually never shows up, but probably just sounded cool. On that note, I would never advise anyone, ever, to read this book. It was truly unpalatable, and it would frighten me to see aspiring writers follow Johnson’s example and use her writing style as a springboard. If you’re looking for a great fantasy book with a fleshed-out world we actually get to see and a heroine with more personality than a spoonful of flour, The Lady of Steinbrekka by Kristi Strong is an impressive alternative. However, an impressive alternative to Faelorehn would also look like a cookbook focussed on how to maximize one’s mayonnaise intake in one sitting from the 80’s. Zero stars.