heritage & mothers

Use this forum to discuss the March 2020 Book of the month, "House of Eire" by June Gillam.
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Officialboluwatife
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Re: heritage & mothers

Post by Officialboluwatife »

Being abandon by one's mother can be devastating. The trauma will definitely reflect at some points in ones life. I share with Hilary's parenting thoughts. She will definitely be careful not to repeat her mothers wrong doing.
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Post by FInziani »

Our childhood experiences have a funny way of showing up in our future and influencing some of the decisions we make. I am glad that Hillary managed to deal with her abandonment issues, some people never do.
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Post by Samisah »

I like the way the author brought the character of Hilary to life. She connects with a lot of people out there today who struggle to break the family shadow over their heads. Sometimes it's for good and sometimes, like in Hilary's case, it isn't.
Despite her challenges, her determination to be a better person and a better mother cannot be questioned. And her daughter, Clair, got the best attention possible.
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Post by blessing_bona »

cpru68 wrote: 01 Mar 2020, 12:20 There was one part that Hillary leaves sleeping Claire to go check on another character. I just felt so apprehensive about her doing that. And, with a murderer running about, I felt it was a irresponsible move. Yet, Hillary was an abandoned child, so she may not have good parenting skills. Yet, I would think this would have made her more protective.
After such a traumatic childhood, it's not a wonder that Hillary can display traits of abandonment. For one, excessively analyzing her growing up may hinder her from giving herself the chance to do better.

Fear paralyzes the ability to do good works.
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Post by Leah M »

The theme of motherhood is evident in the story. Hillary's abandonment scarred her, and getting closure, will help her become a better mother. Her search for reconciliation is something that we can all relate to as mothers or aspiring mothers.
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Post by Poppy Drear »

The themes of mothership and cultural heritage reminded me of a book I read a while ago called The Bonesetter's Daughter. Those sorts of relationships are quite complex, particularly if younger generations move away from involvement in their cultural heritage, and I'm happy they're being represented more in literature.
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Post by prowlingivy »

B Creech wrote: 03 Mar 2020, 17:07 I felt Hillary was a good mom to Claire. I do believe her own mother's abandonment played a huge role in her insecurities about herself. She was a good mom, a successful writer, and had a super husband yet she had low self-esteem which I think was a product of her childhood and not having her mom.
I also agree with this. It's possible that she felt her mother did not love her enough to stay. She even mentioned it at a certain point. Her mother leaving her as a young girl continues to be a ghost that haunts her.
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Post by Jeanht »

Hillary was caring and always tried to do her best for Claire.
I think her insecurities , no doubt stemming from her abandonment issues, made her a better mother.
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Post by Northernbird84 »

Abandonment is a tricky issue to deal with and one that leaves scars for a lifetime. Especially when it is a parent that leaves. I would expect her to be constantly questioning why and what was wrong with her or was it something she did herself. I'd say it definitely affected her xxx
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Post by Brenda Creech »

Northernbird84 wrote: 27 Apr 2020, 07:14 Abandonment is a tricky issue to deal with and one that leaves scars for a lifetime. Especially when it is a parent that leaves. I would expect her to be constantly questioning why and what was wrong with her or was it something she did herself. I'd say it definitely affected her xxx
I agree that the abandonment affected her throughout her life. Also, her weight must have been an issue for her because it was mentioned several times about her extra pounds. I know mine effects me.
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Post by Brenda Creech »

Officialboluwatife wrote: 19 Apr 2020, 10:06 Being abandon by one's mother can be devastating. The trauma will definitely reflect at some points in ones life. I share with Hilary's parenting thoughts. She will definitely be careful not to repeat her mothers wrong doing.
I agree abandonment is a major issue for anyone! And you are right, she was not going to let that happen to Claire.
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Post by Brenda Creech »

Jeanht wrote: 27 Apr 2020, 06:25 Hillary was caring and always tried to do her best for Claire.
I think her insecurities , no doubt stemming from her abandonment issues, made her a better mother.
I agree that her abandonment issues made her a better mother. It doesn't always work out that way!
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Post by Brenda Creech »

ViziVoir wrote: 25 Apr 2020, 18:19 The themes of mothership and cultural heritage reminded me of a book I read a while ago called The Bonesetter's Daughter. Those sorts of relationships are quite complex, particularly if younger generations move away from involvement in their cultural heritage, and I'm happy they're being represented more in literature.
You are so right. I will have to check that book out!
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Post by Brenda Creech »

Leah M wrote: 21 Apr 2020, 06:13 The theme of motherhood is evident in the story. Hillary's abandonment scarred her, and getting closure, will help her become a better mother. Her search for reconciliation is something that we can all relate to as mothers or aspiring mothers.
That is so true. Abandonment at any age will scar a person, and make them ask themselves "what's wrong with me." It is devastating when a child is abandoned by a parent, and it is extremely heartbreaking when a child abandons an aging parent!
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Post by Ediomis_Enwongo01 »

Child upbringing is not a small task at all. Most children have seen the good, the bad and the ugly in the hands of their parents. The case of Hillary's abandonment by her mother is one of such. Despite all this, she was duty bound to be present for Claire to avoid a repeat of her own past. A good model for people in Hillary's shoes to emulate.
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