Review of Dear Grandchild
4 posts
[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Dear Grandchild" by Laurence Thomas.]
Dear Grandchild by Laurence Thomas is a story within a story. Damian gathers with his nine grandchildren and begins imparting a lot of wisdom from his many years of living, loving, and learning. His teachings turn into a tale of how a hero named Damian fought back against a corrupt government and saved the people.
I liked the concept of this story and the dystopian setting that could have been an allegory for real events. I found the prose to be eloquent, though I wish I could say the book is also well-written, but the author’s choice of storytelling made it hard to tell if something was artistically omitted or an error. For instance, for the majority of the book, there is a lack of quotations when the grandfather is speaking, but then when a grandchild randomly interjects, he sometimes answers in quotations. I didn’t know if I was supposed to read this as one of Damian’s grandchildren or as an invisible observer to a grandfather speaking to his grandchildren.
The plot is split between the present grandfather speaking to his grandchildren and the past grandfather as “the hero Damian.” While the way of storytelling was unique, I had a hard time understanding what was going on and think the author could have executed it better. The very first line of dialogue is in first person, so when it switched to narrate Damian going home to his grandchildren, I didn’t realize that the speaker and Damian were the same person. This is clarified to be intentional on page 83 when the grandfather slips up in his story and says, "So I—uh, I mean Damian.” I found it interesting that the grandchildren asked the grandfather what his role was during the revolution. Wouldn’t they know their grandfather’s name, especially if one grandchild is named Damian III?
Since page 4 specifically states that there are nine grandchildren, I personally would have titled the book “Dear Grandchildren.” However, I respect the author’s choice since a singular grandchild makes it more personal, as if he’s writing individual letters to each one, as the summary suggests. I missed that when I began reading because I thought he was physically in a room orating this story to all of his grandchildren. The personalization was also lost whenever an unnamed grandchild spoke, such as on page 38, when “a curious grandchild asked [a question] in the middle of the story.” Either Damian, in his old age, can’t remember the child's name at the moment, or it’s poor writing not to give each minor character a name. Unfortunately, I lean toward poor writing (despite the eloquent prose) since two pages later, within dialogue, the grandfather says, “Sigh… they messed things up too much.” I would have written it like this: Damian sighed. “They messed things up too much.”
While I understand this way of writing may have been artistically intentional, many readers, like myself, have a more black-and-white, inside-the-box way of thinking and do not grasp the story-within-a-story concept. I personally would have written it as one giant letter, thus freeing up the need for quotations between the grandfather and the grandchildren and only needing quotes for dialogue between past Damian and the past characters. I wonder if this is what the author intended, but sometimes forgot and reverted to a more traditional way of storytelling, such as on page 62 when the grandfather’s dialogue is tagged with “he said” when previously it was in first-person point of view.
Overall, Dear Grandchild is a good concept, but the confusing writing style made the message fall short and I had the toughest time reading this. Because of my uncertainty about errors due to the inconsistency of quotations and point of view, this reduced my enjoyment and increased my confusion. I unfortunately rate it 2 out of 5 stars and would not recommend reading it until the author does another round of professional editing to clarify the intended writing style.
******
Dear Grandchild
View: on Bookshelves |
Dear Grandchild by Laurence Thomas is a story within a story. Damian gathers with his nine grandchildren and begins imparting a lot of wisdom from his many years of living, loving, and learning. His teachings turn into a tale of how a hero named Damian fought back against a corrupt government and saved the people.
I liked the concept of this story and the dystopian setting that could have been an allegory for real events. I found the prose to be eloquent, though I wish I could say the book is also well-written, but the author’s choice of storytelling made it hard to tell if something was artistically omitted or an error. For instance, for the majority of the book, there is a lack of quotations when the grandfather is speaking, but then when a grandchild randomly interjects, he sometimes answers in quotations. I didn’t know if I was supposed to read this as one of Damian’s grandchildren or as an invisible observer to a grandfather speaking to his grandchildren.
The plot is split between the present grandfather speaking to his grandchildren and the past grandfather as “the hero Damian.” While the way of storytelling was unique, I had a hard time understanding what was going on and think the author could have executed it better. The very first line of dialogue is in first person, so when it switched to narrate Damian going home to his grandchildren, I didn’t realize that the speaker and Damian were the same person. This is clarified to be intentional on page 83 when the grandfather slips up in his story and says, "So I—uh, I mean Damian.” I found it interesting that the grandchildren asked the grandfather what his role was during the revolution. Wouldn’t they know their grandfather’s name, especially if one grandchild is named Damian III?
Since page 4 specifically states that there are nine grandchildren, I personally would have titled the book “Dear Grandchildren.” However, I respect the author’s choice since a singular grandchild makes it more personal, as if he’s writing individual letters to each one, as the summary suggests. I missed that when I began reading because I thought he was physically in a room orating this story to all of his grandchildren. The personalization was also lost whenever an unnamed grandchild spoke, such as on page 38, when “a curious grandchild asked [a question] in the middle of the story.” Either Damian, in his old age, can’t remember the child's name at the moment, or it’s poor writing not to give each minor character a name. Unfortunately, I lean toward poor writing (despite the eloquent prose) since two pages later, within dialogue, the grandfather says, “Sigh… they messed things up too much.” I would have written it like this: Damian sighed. “They messed things up too much.”
While I understand this way of writing may have been artistically intentional, many readers, like myself, have a more black-and-white, inside-the-box way of thinking and do not grasp the story-within-a-story concept. I personally would have written it as one giant letter, thus freeing up the need for quotations between the grandfather and the grandchildren and only needing quotes for dialogue between past Damian and the past characters. I wonder if this is what the author intended, but sometimes forgot and reverted to a more traditional way of storytelling, such as on page 62 when the grandfather’s dialogue is tagged with “he said” when previously it was in first-person point of view.
Overall, Dear Grandchild is a good concept, but the confusing writing style made the message fall short and I had the toughest time reading this. Because of my uncertainty about errors due to the inconsistency of quotations and point of view, this reduced my enjoyment and increased my confusion. I unfortunately rate it 2 out of 5 stars and would not recommend reading it until the author does another round of professional editing to clarify the intended writing style.
******
Dear Grandchild
View: on Bookshelves |
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