Review by khaulah -- The Neighbour At Number 18 (Reload)

[khaulah]

[Following is a volunteer review of "The Neighbour At Number 18 (Reload)" by Hawa Crickmore.]

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1 out of 4 stars

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The Neighbour At Number 18 (Reload) by Hawa Crickmore is about Maria, a ten years old girl. The story starts with Maria’s mother Brenda befriending Maureen, whose daughter Emilia is fourteen years old. Both Brenda and Maureen are single mothers. Brenda’s husband died of cancer, and Maureen’s husband left her without any explanation. As the friendship between Brenda and Maureen progresses, Maria and Emilia also become good friends. Emilia dresses provocatively, and she begins to have an influence on Maria.

Central to the story is the character of Tyler, nephew of Maureen. Tyler is ten years older than Emilia. Tyler knows a secret of Emilia, and He blackmails her into luring under-aged girls to his flat. After bringing three girls to his flat deceptively, Emilia runs out of choices. Tyler asks her to bring Maria to which Emilia agrees reluctantly.

What I liked about this book is: it raises the issue of step-children abuse and the importance of active parent vigilance in caring for their children.

There are some discrepancies in the story. It was first mentioned that Brenda had three children. The name of the third child is not mentioned, and he doesn’t appear in the rest of the story. Maria’s brother Jonathan’s name is suddenly changed to Joseph in the last chapters.
It was an easy read but not an interesting one. The plot seemed compelling in the first quarter of the book, but the book fails to hold the interest as the story moves on. The characters are one dimensional. There’s no information about what Brenda and Maureen do for a living. All characters sound similar; you can’t tell which character is speaking because they all use the same tone and words. There’s no individuality or any mention of personal quirks of the characters.

The book needs further editing. I found more than 10 grammatical errors, with an error appearing on the first page itself. I’m not talking about an occasional typo, but the type of errors that make it difficult to read and comprehend the book. There are a lot of awkward sentences. For example, “he was charming, tall, dark hair and a pair of sea green eyes” on page number 2, “You are joking me, when did that happen” on page number 44, and ‘Divorce’ she replied silently and began cry, on page number 80.

I give this book 1 out of 4 stars. It needs a lot of improvements. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone in its current state. The book is full of swear words. Trigger warnings include mentions of sexual assault. Even though many details are left for the reader, an instance of a sex scene is quite erotic. Considering these factors, the book is unsuitable for younger readers.

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The Neighbour At Number 18 (Reload)
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[Connie Otwani]

Its a shame that with such a promising start, the plot just fizzles out. With all the errors, no character development and flat tone, the book sounds more like a first draft than the final copy. I hope the author incorporates your suggestions.

Thanks for the honest review!

[Prisallen]

I hope the author takes your criticism constructively and reworks his novel as it seems to have possibilities. Thank for your informative and honest review!

[Letora]

I think this is one I would have to pass on. The concept seems interesting, but I agree that it seems to need another look through. Thank you for your review.

[khaulah]

Its a shame that with such a promising start, the plot just fizzles out. With all the errors, no character development and flat tone, the book sounds more like a first draft than the final copy. I hope the author incorporates your suggestions.

Thanks for the honest review!

I really hope it helps the author. Thanks for commenting!

[khaulah]

I hope the author takes your criticism constructively and reworks his novel as it seems to have possibilities. Thank for your informative and honest review!

Thanks for commenting! I hope it helps the author.

[khaulah]

I think this is one I would have to pass on. The concept seems interesting, but I agree that it seems to need another look through. Thank you for your review.

You're welcome! I appreciate your comment.

[Tavaiel26]

All characters sound similar; you can’t tell which character is speaking because they all use the same tone and words. There’s no individuality or any mention of personal quirks of the characters.

This always kills a book in my opinion! Thanks for reviewing.

[khaulah]

All characters sound similar; you can’t tell which character is speaking because they all use the same tone and words. There’s no individuality or any mention of personal quirks of the characters.

This always kills a book in my opinion! Thanks for reviewing.

You're welcome!