The author's approach to life?

Use this forum to discuss the July 2019 Book of the month, "Defining Moments of a Free Man from a Black Stream" by Dr Frank L Douglas.
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Re: The author's approach to life?

Post by briellejee »

srividyag1 wrote: 01 Aug 2019, 11:53
Jacquelyn-63 wrote: 24 Jul 2019, 10:42 I think it’s a combination. No one can ever completely reject their childhood. The only thing you can do is learn from it so that you want to change things. Those things are what turned you into the person you are today.
I agree with this. Sometimes, we blame those experiences, thinking probably it could have been better. But, if things had happened differently, we wouldn't have been what we are now.
Agreed. One way or another I think the past taught us a lot of things.
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raikyuu wrote: 01 Aug 2019, 23:28 I think that it is hard to deny what has happened to us in our lives, especially if the memories are too strong to forget. I like how the author transformed those past experiences to bring into a life that he (and his family) would never have to go through again.
Same, I guess any parent would want what's best for their child and their family. Looking back at his past experiences, I don't think anyone would want anyone, much more their family, to experience it as well.
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supernatural143 wrote: 30 Jul 2019, 23:57 The author embraced his childhood, learned from it, tried hard to triumph over the adversities, and made sure his children won't experience the same.

He's amazing! He inspires readers to follow his lead.
He also shows us that although 'following his lead' to triumph over the difficulties in our own lives isn't going to be easy, it's definitely worth the effort in the end. Thanks so much for stopping in and commenting!
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Anthony__ wrote: 31 Jul 2019, 02:24 I think his past made his present visible. And the deprivation he experienced made him to work harder so, his generation to come won't experience that.
Visible? Do you mean that his past enabled him to see that his future/present could be so much more than his past gave him? If so, I think that's a very interesting way of looking at it. I hadn't really thought of it from that angle. The deprivation of his childhood definitely gave him the desire to work to ensure that future generations would not experience the same. Thanks for stopping in and sharing your thoughts!
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Wyland wrote: 01 Aug 2019, 01:54 He has learned from his childhood because the things he currently provides for his family are what he was denied in his childhood.
That could be seen as rejecting it and embracing it at the same time. He took from it the lessons he needed that would enable him to help his family rise above that deprivation and left behind the parts that would hold him back. I appreciate you stopping in and sharing your thoughts!
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Kelyn wrote: 02 Aug 2019, 00:36
Anthony__ wrote: 31 Jul 2019, 02:24 I think his past made his present visible. And the deprivation he experienced made him to work harder so, his generation to come won't experience that.
Visible? Do you mean that his past enabled him to see that his future/present could be so much more than his past gave him? If so, I think that's a very interesting way of looking at it. I hadn't really thought of it from that angle. The deprivation of his childhood definitely gave him the desire to work to ensure that future generations would not experience the same. Thanks for stopping in and sharing your thoughts!
Same here. I wasn't able to look at that with this perspective. Well, if he did see it that way, it only means that from the start he had set his mind on his goals, and also a good dose of optimism!
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Post by Samy Lax »

I personally enjoyed seeing how the author learnt to appreciate his mom and understood everything she did for him. Though he sees some faults that she did, he got mature enough to see past them.
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Samy Lax wrote: 06 Aug 2019, 00:57 I personally enjoyed seeing how the author learnt to appreciate his mom and understood everything she did for him. Though he sees some faults that she did, he got mature enough to see past them.
Indeed! I think that's the outcome every parent hopes for. As children or often even as young adults, we have great difficulty seeing past the "bad" things that happened with our parents. It takes a bit more maturity and perhaps becoming a parent yourself before you can gain that insight. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us!
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Post by Gracedscribe »

The difficulty is never fun to live through in any stage of life. But living through adversity early in life strengthened the author to face difficulty on a different level later on in life. It looks like the past fuelled the author on in this instance.
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Kelyn wrote: 19 Jul 2019, 22:16 I read somewhere once that a person reacts in one of two ways to their childhood. You either embrace it and learn from it or you reject it and live your life in a way that will ensure you (and your future family) never return to that state of living again. In my opinion, the author seems to have managed to do both. He definitely learned from his childhood experiences in that it helped him develop both determination and an intense desire to succeed; but he also 'rose through the ranks', so to speak, in a way that ensured that his family (wife and children) never experienced anything even remotely like the deprivation he experienced in childhood. In my own experience, it's almost impossible to totally reject one's upbringing, even if it held unfortunate or even adverse experiences. Based on what you read of the author's life, which do you think he did? Or was it a combination of both?
He definitely overcame a great many obstacles in his life, one of which was his extreme poverty as a child. It seemed, though, despite the poverty, he did come from a loving and encouraging family. I'm thinking of his Mom's reaction to his reading and studying. I don't think that sheer determination was all it took to reach the goals he attained. I believe he had to also be a very intelligent person. That is shown in how he dealt with his suicidal thoughts as a child. Only a very intelligent person could reason in such a manner, especially as a child.
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DC Brown wrote: 07 Aug 2019, 10:03 He definitely overcame a great many obstacles in his life, one of which was his extreme poverty as a child. It seemed, though, despite the poverty, he did come from a loving and encouraging family. I'm thinking of his Mom's reaction to his reading and studying. I don't think that sheer determination was all it took to reach the goals he attained. I believe he had to also be a very intelligent person. That is shown in how he dealt with his suicidal thoughts as a child. Only a very intelligent person could reason in such a manner, especially as a child.
Very true. I hadn't thought of it in quite those terms. I think the Mom was a bit mercuric. On the one hand, she was encouraging about his reading and studying but then, on the other, she would beat him just on the say-so of his Aunt without even trying to find out his side of it or what actually happened. I do agree that he was a very intelligent individual. Thanks for stopping in and commenting!
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Post by Cecilia_L »

Kelyn wrote: 24 Jul 2019, 22:25
Nym182 wrote: 24 Jul 2019, 16:27 I also liked how he grew to appreciate his mom and all that she did for him and his siblings as they were growing up, and although she had her faults, he was eventually able to see past them.
I think that's the hope of every parent. "You'll appreciate this when you're older," isn't a saying for nothing! I know as a parent myself that I've made plenty of mistakes, but I hope that my kids will (eventually) see that I did my best, appreciate what I did do right, and forgive me for the mistakes I made. Thanks for stopping in and commenting!
I agree with both of you. I realize there are exceptions as in the case of abuse, but I think most parents do the best they can for their kids given their own upbringing, which often is a significant factor.
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Post by Lisa A Rayburn »

Cecilia_L wrote: 10 Aug 2019, 07:29
Kelyn wrote: 24 Jul 2019, 22:25
I think that's the hope of every parent. "You'll appreciate this when you're older," isn't a saying for nothing! I know as a parent myself that I've made plenty of mistakes, but I hope that my kids will (eventually) see that I did my best, appreciate what I did do right, and forgive me for the mistakes I made. Thanks for stopping in and commenting!
I agree with both of you. I realize there are exceptions as in the case of abuse, but I think most parents do the best they can for their kids given their own upbringing, which often is a significant factor.
Yes, there are definitely exceptions and, all-to-often, society doesn't catch them until it's too late. Then, that cycle passes on to the next generation. In this case, however, even if the mother wasn't overly 'loving' toward the author (after all, she beat him regularly on just the word of his Aunt), I think she was trying to do her best by him. Thanks so much for stopping in and commenting!
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Post by Miercoles »

Childhood experiences always have some impact on your adult life. For some persons it becomes a reiteration of the negatives, but for others, like the author, it gives impetus to a desire to do and to be better.
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Post by Lady-of-Literature »

I agree with what you said on the part where it seems unlikely to completely reject your upbringing. It is a major part of your foundation and while it's possible to remove that foundation in place of another one, the lessons learned from the previous one will always remain. A combination of both is likely, I think.
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