What changes you would make in the book, if you were the author?

Use this forum to discuss the June 2019 Book of the month, "Cynthia and Dan: Cyber War" by Dorothy May Mercer.
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Jo689
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What changes you would make in the book, if you were the author?

Post by Jo689 » 07 Jun 2019, 08:17

I was actually thinking about this:

I thought the book was alright, unlike most. However, even though I didn't think it was bad, there were a lot of things I would have changed in the book, say if I was the author. The main things that I would change in this book is 1) add a backstory, or flashback of the events that happened in the previous books and 2) Make Cynthia a much more smarter character lol.

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Post by maggi3 » 07 Jun 2019, 12:56

I agree with both of your points, but I would add better editing as well. I found a lot of errors in the book. Also, I would change Sky’s character so that he was a bit more believable and change the instant love aspect of his and Cynthia’s relationship.

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Stephanie Elizabeth
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Post by Stephanie Elizabeth » 07 Jun 2019, 15:44

Jo689 wrote:
07 Jun 2019, 08:17
I was actually thinking about this:

I thought the book was alright, unlike most. However, even though I didn't think it was bad, there were a lot of things I would have changed in the book, say if I was the author. The main things that I would change in this book is 1) add a backstory, or flashback of the events that happened in the previous books and 2) Make Cynthia a much more smarter character lol.
Agreed! I especially agree with having more of a history on each character provided. I almost felt as if I had chosen the second or third book of a series and hadn't read the first one. The story confused me right from the get-go. I would also make the main characters smarter!

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Post by AntonelaMaria » 08 Jun 2019, 12:53

Well, I really didn't like the book so where should I start with the changes? I mean this is a big question. Probably would make Cynthia a bit stronger and smarter as a leading character and Sky less of a mr.know it all and creep.

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Post by mmm17 » 08 Jun 2019, 12:59

That is a great question to ask. I agree with you that the book is not bad, but I wouldn't say it was great either. As you mentioned, I would also add more backstory. But you really hit the mark with the comment about Cynthia! I would definitely recommend developing her character in a more generous and less stereotyped way. I would also suggest an improvement in the dialogues, which were sometimes overly silly. For instance, sentences like "His lips were so soft and downright delicious" sounded a bit cheesy to me. :?
Thanks again for raising this discussion!

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Post by chiadeer » 08 Jun 2019, 13:08

I enjoyed the book and liked the plot. I enjoy reading cozy mystery series and this had that kind of feel to it. However, I would have changed Cynthia and Sky's relationship. It felt really weird and creepy to me. I think the author could have done things in a way that showed that Sky was a powerful, connected person in D.C. without the whole day after pregnancy scenario. After the fact, I realized that the author was showing that Sky truly cared about her and was trying care for her, but in the scene it seemed more like a powerful, Washington insider was taking care of his own mistakes and potential problems.

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Post by DC Brown » 08 Jun 2019, 22:41

Jo689 wrote:
07 Jun 2019, 08:17
I was actually thinking about this:

I thought the book was alright, unlike most. However, even though I didn't think it was bad, there were a lot of things I would have changed in the book, say if I was the author. The main things that I would change in this book is 1) add a backstory, or flashback of the events that happened in the previous books and 2) Make Cynthia a much more smarter character lol.
I agree, the book was alright. To me, it seemed like it was two books: the spy thriller and the romance novel. It didn't do well as either one. Perhaps if the author picked one to concentrate on it would've turned out better?

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Post by KCWolf » 09 Jun 2019, 17:07

For starters, character development--especially Cynthia. The character descriptions were a little bit annoying and childish too. There are words to use to describe the loveliness of a character without using expressions like "her cute bottom" or "luscious lips."
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Post by VernaVi » 11 Jun 2019, 00:47

Great question! I think first I would delete the one-night -stand (since the book is titled "Cynthia and Dan").
Second, I would not include the how-to information concerning abortion and birth control pills at the back of the book. It's a romantic suspense book, not a clinic pamphlet. Am I being too harsh? I don't mean to be, I just really felt that those sections did not help the book or it's intended genre at all.

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Post by DC Brown » 12 Jun 2019, 10:03

Jo689 wrote:
07 Jun 2019, 08:17
I was actually thinking about this:

I thought the book was alright, unlike most. However, even though I didn't think it was bad, there were a lot of things I would have changed in the book, say if I was the author. The main things that I would change in this book is 1) add a backstory, or flashback of the events that happened in the previous books and 2) Make Cynthia a much more smarter character lol.
I think it would be better if the author put more emphasis on one story or the other. The story of Cynthia, Dan, and Sky. Or the cyber war.

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Post by DC Brown » 12 Jun 2019, 10:09

VernaVi wrote:
11 Jun 2019, 00:47
Great question! I think first I would delete the one-night -stand (since the book is titled "Cynthia and Dan").
Second, I would not include the how-to information concerning abortion and birth control pills at the back of the book. It's a romantic suspense book, not a clinic pamphlet. Am I being too harsh? I don't mean to be, I just really felt that those sections did not help the book or it's intended genre at all.
That addendum was weird. The author had already covered a lot of that using Sky’s character. And it’s not new information. I wondered why it was included as well. Would seem more appropriate for nonfiction.

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Post by HRichards » 12 Jun 2019, 14:20

I think the characters needed to be made a lot more realistic and able to connect to. The relationships between characters came across very clunky.

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Post by briellejee » 13 Jun 2019, 09:09

I agree with your second suggestion. Lol. Cynthia has been so flwaed from the start that makes her unlikable. I have no problems with flawed characters, it's just that her flaws don't even contribute much to her character or the plot. It just makes them messy and soggy.
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Post by Nisha Ward » 13 Jun 2019, 12:20

So far, I'd remove the whole one night stand part and the break-up. There's no tension involved.
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Post by Nena_Morena » 14 Jun 2019, 21:21

maggi3 wrote:
07 Jun 2019, 12:56
I agree with both of your points, but I would add better editing as well. I found a lot of errors in the book. Also, I would change Sky’s character so that he was a bit more believable and change the instant love aspect of his and Cynthia’s relationship.
My first thought went to Sky as well. His character was very unrealistic and creepy in my opinion. I believe in love at first sight, but there is no love between him and Cynthia. I would have understood his behavior more if he were a terrorist trying to gain Cynthia's favor.

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