Who is qualified to give advice like this?

Use this forum to discuss the November Book of the month "If life stinks get your head outta your buts" by Mark L. Wdowiak
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Caylie_Cat
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Who is qualified to give advice like this?

Post by Caylie_Cat » 03 Nov 2018, 21:29

I wonder what makes someone decide that their own life is in such good order that they need to dispense advice to others? I'm not saying this author should not have written this book, and nobody is being forced to read it, but I just wonder about the motivation behind it? What do you think?

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Post by Manali_DC » 04 Nov 2018, 03:20

I really like the topic you have thrown up for discussion because this is exactly what I have wondered every time I see a book of this genre. What makes someone think that their life is so perfect that they can tell others how to live theirs. And how is it that they are so confident about what they need to do in a given situation when most of us are assailed by doubts and uncertainties.
To be fair I think that people who write these have had experiences which have made them wiser or maybe they have put in a great deal of study into human behavior and they think that their experiences can actually help guide a few people in similar dilemmas.

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Post by Mercy Bolo » 04 Nov 2018, 08:06

Of course, no one's life is perfect, but it's evident that some people are better off than others. It causes no harm when a person who people look up to tells the truth about what it takes to get to the top, no matter how they present their message.
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Post by Cecilia_L » 04 Nov 2018, 10:04

I wonder what makes someone decide that their own life is in such good order that they need to dispense advice to others? I'm not saying this author should not have written this book, and nobody is being forced to read it, but I just wonder about the motivation behind it? What do you think?
I think many authors are really motivated by their desire to help others. I find that's often the case in many of these self-help books. They feel they've found a solution that works for them, so maybe it will help others, too. On the other hand, I've read my share that came across as arrogant and obviously were not helpful to anyone.

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Post by Alicia09 » 04 Nov 2018, 10:26

There's obviously a monetary factor that could go into writing a book like this, because many people who are looking for advice may want to buy a book that offers advice on how to improve their lives. Then again, the author did mention a lot of personal stories of times when he made mistakes. So it could be a book that was meant to warn younger or more inexperienced readers about problematic behaviors and thinking patterns to avoid.
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Post by M Zee » 04 Nov 2018, 13:55

It's a good question. Who is qualified to write these kinds of books? I don't know that there are that many people who have the ideal life but sometimes it's easy to write about your experiences and their impact. I've read that the author uses his own life quite a bit in this one? (Maybe someone else can confirm) But it's easiest to learn from our own mistakes, I guess! Hindsight is 20/20.
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Post by cpru68 » 04 Nov 2018, 15:51

I look at this this way: if I find a good deal on a pair of shoes on sale, would I not tell my friends or family especially if I know they are out looking for what I just purchased? I think it’s safe to say that most humans make excuses for themselves, do the same things over and over with no success and find themselves often times not happy. Much like my shoe analogy, when a person finds success through certain means, he or she generally want others to know so they can experience changes and happiness too. Does it qualify people who don’t have a degree to back them up? I think so. I have a degree behind my name, but life has taught me more than school ever could. If I learn something from an author, that is how he or she is qualified in my book.
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Post by Caylie_Cat » 04 Nov 2018, 19:39

Manali_DC wrote:
04 Nov 2018, 03:20
I really like the topic you have thrown up for discussion because this is exactly what I have wondered every time I see a book of this genre. What makes someone think that their life is so perfect that they can tell others how to live theirs. And how is it that they are so confident about what they need to do in a given situation when most of us are assailed by doubts and uncertainties.
To be fair I think that people who write these have had experiences which have made them wiser or maybe they have put in a great deal of study into human behavior and they think that their experiences can actually help guide a few people in similar dilemmas.
I do agree that life experiences and how you react/respond to them shows what you are really like as a person, and all of us should try to learn by our mistakes and grow as an individual to be our best. Do you think we really learn from others' mistakes though? My grown-up kids seek my advice and input on important issues, and I think my experiences have helped them be more successful, but that comes from a relationship built on trust and the knowledge that my words carry no other other agenda than love.

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Post by Caylie_Cat » 04 Nov 2018, 19:46

Mercy Bolo wrote:
04 Nov 2018, 08:06
Of course, no one's life is perfect, but it's evident that some people are better off than others. It causes no harm when a person who people look up to tells the truth about what it takes to get to the top, no matter how they present their message.
Yes, that is absolutely true. I think my question arises from who the author is and whether he someone I can look up to? Please hear me, I have no problem with Mark at all and I'm sure he is a genuine, caring person who has gone out on a limb to share his life with us - which makes him far braver than I am. If this book has helped its readers, that is great!

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Post by Caylie_Cat » 04 Nov 2018, 19:53

Cecilia_L wrote:
04 Nov 2018, 10:04
I wonder what makes someone decide that their own life is in such good order that they need to dispense advice to others? I'm not saying this author should not have written this book, and nobody is being forced to read it, but I just wonder about the motivation behind it? What do you think?
I think many authors are really motivated by their desire to help others. I find that's often the case in many of these self-help books. They feel they've found a solution that works for them, so maybe it will help others, too. On the other hand, I've read my share that came across as arrogant and obviously were not helpful to anyone.
I think your last sentence is what prompted me to open this discussion. Sadly, when you have been mislead by a teacher/counselor/pastor who could 'talk the talk' but failed to 'walk the walk', you tend to find yourself a bit jaded and wary. Unfortunately, it is the usual story that the one bad apple makes the whole barrel of good apples a bit stinky by association.

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Post by Caylie_Cat » 04 Nov 2018, 19:57

Alicia09 wrote:
04 Nov 2018, 10:26
There's obviously a monetary factor that could go into writing a book like this, because many people who are looking for advice may want to buy a book that offers advice on how to improve their lives. Then again, the author did mention a lot of personal stories of times when he made mistakes. So it could be a book that was meant to warn younger or more inexperienced readers about problematic behaviors and thinking patterns to avoid.
You raise a good point here, in that the author offered situations in which he was not the hero, or the one with the best judgement. That is brave and I agree that thinking patterns most certainly govern our lives and futures, so any guidance on what to do, or not to do, is valuable to someone looking for answers.

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Post by Caylie_Cat » 04 Nov 2018, 20:03

cpru68 wrote:
04 Nov 2018, 15:51
I look at this this way: if I find a good deal on a pair of shoes on sale, would I not tell my friends or family especially if I know they are out looking for what I just purchased? I think it’s safe to say that most humans make excuses for themselves, do the same things over and over with no success and find themselves often times not happy. Much like my shoe analogy, when a person finds success through certain means, he or she generally want others to know so they can experience changes and happiness too. Does it qualify people who don’t have a degree to back them up? I think so. I have a degree behind my name, but life has taught me more than school ever could. If I learn something from an author, that is how he or she is qualified in my book.
Scholastic qualifications are fine things to have, but I agree that they don't make you a better person, nor do they ensure your personal success unless you have the character and drive to shine in your field. I like your shoe analogy, it does make sense that we like to share our good things with others and not necessarily for our own benefit.

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Post by Caylie_Cat » 04 Nov 2018, 20:09

M Zee wrote:
04 Nov 2018, 13:55
It's a good question. Who is qualified to write these kinds of books? I don't know that there are that many people who have the ideal life but sometimes it's easy to write about your experiences and their impact. I've read that the author uses his own life quite a bit in this one? (Maybe someone else can confirm) But it's easiest to learn from our own mistakes, I guess! Hindsight is 20/20.
I think we all agree that hindsight is 20/20 and I know there are a few things I might have done differently knowing what I know now. On the other hand, the things I might change could have far greater impact than I could imagine on the life I have now. I guess, as you said, learn from your own mistakes and look forward, not backwards?

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Post by Jsovermyer » 04 Nov 2018, 21:50

Alicia09 wrote:
04 Nov 2018, 10:26
There's obviously a monetary factor that could go into writing a book like this, because many people who are looking for advice may want to buy a book that offers advice on how to improve their lives. Then again, the author did mention a lot of personal stories of times when he made mistakes. So it could be a book that was meant to warn younger or more inexperienced readers about problematic behaviors and thinking patterns to avoid.
This author may have good intentions for writing this self-help book, but some do not. This kind of book is fairly easy to write. A lot of the advice is just common sense. And there is a great market out there for books that claim to make you happy, more succesful, and more time efficient. Everyone wants an easy way to make their life better.

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Post by Caylie_Cat » 04 Nov 2018, 22:05

Jsovermyer wrote:
04 Nov 2018, 21:50
Alicia09 wrote:
04 Nov 2018, 10:26
There's obviously a monetary factor that could go into writing a book like this, because many people who are looking for advice may want to buy a book that offers advice on how to improve their lives. Then again, the author did mention a lot of personal stories of times when he made mistakes. So it could be a book that was meant to warn younger or more inexperienced readers about problematic behaviors and thinking patterns to avoid.
This author may have good intentions for writing this self-help book, but some do not. This kind of book is fairly easy to write. A lot of the advice is just common sense. And there is a great market out there for books that claim to make you happy, more succesful, and more time efficient. Everyone wants an easy way to make their life better.
That is so true. Human nature always seems to go for the quick fix, have it now, and make it easy sort of mind-set. Unfortunately, changing thought patterns and habits take a lot more effort than just reading a book. Knowing something doesn't mean it will help you unless you are prepared to do the hard things involved.

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