Romance and time-how is romance different now?

Use this forum to discuss the June 2018 Book of the Month"The Girl Who Knew da Vinci" by Belle Ami
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Libs_Books
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Re: Romance and time-how is romance different now?

Post by Libs_Books » 30 Jun 2018, 07:39

Dael Reader wrote:
21 Jun 2018, 19:54
Frankly, I didn't think any of the couples in this book were in the midst of romance … Romance involves time spent together, talking, laughing, learning more about each other. All we really see about the couples here are their insatiable desire for sex.
That could be more historically realistic, though. I agree with kfwilson and bookowlie: it would be difficult for young people to develop a proper romance in your sense, as they would not be allowed to spend time alone together. I suspest that quite often, in the past, “falling in love” may often have involved little more than instantaneous sexual attraction.

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Post by kfwilson6 » 30 Jun 2018, 09:31

Even today, that instantaneous attraction is prevalent and seems to be how a lot of younger people define love. Attraction can easily disappear one day, but true love will last no matter the difficulties in a relationship. I wonder if Sophia and Gerhard had had time to get over the drama of WWII, which I'm sure heightened the emotions they felt for each other, if they would have continued to have a thriving relationship or if the intense situation they were in was a huge factor in what they felt for each other. Same sort of thing with Giuliano and Fioretta; if everyone accepted their relationship, would it have been true and lasting love, or was there a lot of excitement because their relationship was so taboo.

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Post by kfwilson6 » 30 Jun 2018, 09:59

That's a great explanation. I guess I kept seeing it more as romance had sort of transitioned into lust. But, I really like how you explained it and completely agree with you.

Your comment about lust made me giggle.

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Post by bookowlie » 30 Jun 2018, 10:20

Libs_Books wrote:
30 Jun 2018, 07:39
Dael Reader wrote:
21 Jun 2018, 19:54
Frankly, I didn't think any of the couples in this book were in the midst of romance … Romance involves time spent together, talking, laughing, learning more about each other. All we really see about the couples here are their insatiable desire for sex.
That could be more historically realistic, though. I agree with kfwilson and bookowlie: it would be difficult for young people to develop a proper romance in your sense, as they would not be allowed to spend time alone together. I suspest that quite often, in the past, “falling in love” may often have involved little more than instantaneous sexual attraction.
So true. In earlier eras, young people were not allowed to spend time alone. As a result, I am sure there were many unhappy unions from couples who didn't have much time to get to know each other well before being pushed into marriage by their parents or society's expectations. In this book, Angela and Alex's romance seemed to be on fast forward - too much too quickly. It would have been nicer if it developed slowly as they got to know each other through the detective work. Since this book is a series, their relationship could certainly have progressed slowly over several books. It would have whet the reader's appetite for more, instead of making them an immediate romantic couple.
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Post by MiziS_1305 » 30 Jun 2018, 11:39

kfwilson6 wrote:
29 Jun 2018, 17:13
MiziS_1305 wrote:
26 Jun 2018, 00:29
Romance has always been the same irrespective of time periods. What differs is lust. I just feel that now there is more lust in a relationship than love.
Can you pinpoint specific areas in which you think romance has remained the same across time? I just see so many differences, I'm curious as to what you think hasn't changed.
Throughout our human history romance has always been about care and attention. These, I think, are the most basic elements of romance. Few aspects do change, but the soul remains the same. That's my perspective. So, here I rest my case :wink:

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Post by kfwilson6 » 30 Jun 2018, 12:26

I did a plantation tour last year in New Orleans and on the tour they showed this particular type of candle holder. The parents could adjust the height of the holder. When the candle burned down to that height, the couple's date had to end. The more the girl's parents trusted the suitor, the more time the couple could spend together.

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Post by LarissaRunamuck » 01 Jul 2018, 14:09

I think how we feel love and generally, how we express it are pretty much the same through the ages. I think it's societal changes in the view of love and the importance of it that maybe make romance differ through time.
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Post by uyky » 02 Jul 2018, 15:34

I would say that while love remains the same throughout time, our view of the world changes a lot. Which means that also views on what is romantic are different. I think the way we are brought up and the culture we live in does a lot for deciding which gestures are romantic.

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Post by Cecilia_L » 03 Jul 2018, 21:30

I believe we have more freedom now than in the past to choose marriage for love, which is a good thing. On the other hand, I feel we've lost a lot of the romantic gestures from days past.

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Post by Kibetious » 04 Jul 2018, 03:02

I think that romance has changed in some way due to the changes in how people view sex and love and their level of commitment they show towards each other. Nowadays,
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Post by joshfee77 » 04 Jul 2018, 03:27

I think romance is definitely different today than it was long ago. The Internet has made it very much a world of convenience, and for those who use dating apps to meet people (which is perfectly valid if you haven't met the right person face-to-face), then the whole "swipe right or swipe left" to pick a potential partner sort of cheapens the experience, I think. The core idea of romance is still there, and I'm sure there are still those who embrace it, but I can't help feeling we're all a little too connected in this regard. Having communication access to so many strangers and potential new friends can also facilitate cheating for those predisposed to be disloyal to their partner.

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Post by Surakshita-11 » 05 Jul 2018, 06:19

Romance in today's time is definitely different from what couples used to have in olden times. Now a days only romance left in people is to have sex. Spending good times with beloved one is forgotten fact of past.

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Post by v i n » 05 Jul 2018, 07:35

what we see along the story for it is not romance at all but just a series of unfaithfulness and lust. for me, the comparison between romance now and then is just the same because the acts that we saw in the story are still going on without any sign of declining.

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Post by Kibetious » 05 Jul 2018, 07:40

Surakshita-11 wrote:
05 Jul 2018, 06:19
Romance in today's time is definitely different from what couples used to have in olden times. Nowadays only romance left in people is to have sex. Spending good times with beloved one is a forgotten fact of past.
This is a true fact also. It is almost as if at times, people have reduced romance to making love hence the emotional attachment and bond that is there is weak. It is not surprising that the number of divorces in the society is on the increase in addition to the growing number of dysfunctional families. It is, therefore, true to conclude that much has changed.
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Post by Kibetious » 05 Jul 2018, 07:43

joshfee77 wrote:
04 Jul 2018, 03:27
I think romance is definitely different today than it was long ago. The Internet has made it very much a world of convenience, and for those who use dating apps to meet people (which is perfectly valid if you haven't met the right person face-to-face), then the whole "swipe right or swipe left" to pick a potential partner sort of cheapens the experience, I think. The core idea of romance is still there, and I'm sure there are still those who embrace it, but I can't help feeling we're all a little too connected in this regard. Having communication access to so many strangers and potential new friends can also facilitate cheating for those predisposed to be disloyal to their partner.
Very true. I like this point of view. I had not seen it this way that the internet and other technological advances have in a way also affected romance. It is true that there are some lies that may result as people are miles apart and hence there will be no one to report what they truly are doing.
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